Transcript for Episode 04

00:05

Hi, good peeps. Welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. You know that friend that you can call to ask anything? That's me. Dr. Sarah Milken. I'm known to my friends as the flexible, neurotic. What is flexible, neurotic even mean? Let me be neurotic by take out my golden shovel to dig deep for all the golden nuggets in the hottest topics from parenting, to education to neuroscience, and maybe even some beauty secrets. So we can all start living more flexibly. Come join us for edgy conversations with rad moms. Innovative thought leaders and well being practitioners helping you find that sweet spot between chaotic and gel. If you're craving that sweet spot grab your golden shovel with me. You will walk away with nuggets you can start using today.

 

01:01

Hi good peeps. This is the next episode of the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a very special guest she's a best selling author of two books she ology and she ology the she call she has been called the vagina whisperer. She has been known to say that everyone has a vagina loves a vagina or wishes they had a vagina. Her name is Dr. Sherry Ross, the Los Angeles based gynecologist and obstetrician to the stars. You might be wondering how many vaginas she's actually seen, or how many babies she's delivered. I think the numbers might be too high at this point. So fasten your seat belts for the one hour vagina makeover. revamping your vagina in the second half of life, we might get a little graphic so if you're listening to this in the car with your kids, perhaps pick a different time. This isn't alone podcast maybe with your husband. I am clearly going to dig deep with my golden shovel with Dr. Sherry to get through all the components of our vagina makeover. So here we go. Hi, Dr. Sherry. Hey there, Sarah. So good to see you too. I have my air conditioning on because I'm not sure whether I'm having a hot flash or I'm just like revved up for this episode. Yeah, I hope it's the latter. Yeah, meteo.

 

02:34

But the hot flushes might be a whole other episode unto itself. So I want to talk for a second about what my intentions are for this episode. Because this is a fun topic. It's a graphic topic, the vagina makeover in the second half of life. My intentions for this episode as it is for all my episodes of the flexible neurotic is for us to dig deep with our golden shovels in an edgy conversation about how we can and will find our sweet spots between neurotic and chill. In this case, the sweet spot might be the G spot you know some of my story of being the flexible neurotic so far to date. I have not discussed my vagina or anything related to it. But let's see what this talk with Dr. Sherry brings up what do you think Dr. Sherry Yeah, you will be talking about your vagina sir. I promise you oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening. We're going to discuss with Dr. Sherry how she has taken out her golden shovel and helps herself and other women make over their vaginas in the second half of life. And perhaps find the sweet spot between droopy and Dr. A giant not care too tight and a Moly in vagina care. I could say moist. But my kids say that word is nasty. Can we ever have too much vagina care? Dr. Sherry No, and you can never have too much of a moist vagina.

 

04:04

Dr. Sherry will give us the golden nuggets and the actionable items to start facelifting our vagina today. So we're going to normalize this conversation about the vagina vagina vagina. By just digging deep today. In fact, my daughter is cringing probably telepathically right now. She texted me the other day and said please stop asking me when I'm getting my period. You should have been a gynecologist.

 

04:33

Kudos to you. Yeah. whenever she's being mean to me. I'm like, are you getting your period? Like stop asking me that? So today we're gonna cover all things vagina makeover, round two after 40 how we're going to make it look good, feel good, feel tight and refresh it. What do you think Dr. Share, I love it. My favorite topics. We're gonna talk about the vagina revolution. I know that when we

 

05:00

talked on the phone you told me a little bit about how we are now in the vagina revolution as is the amazing t shirt that you had delivered to my house. It says the vagina revolution is on. And you sent one for my daughter, which is amazing. So can you tell us a little about your experience with using the word vagina and the restrictions in the media and just the whole taboo around it? I mean, here's what I have learned when a woman's legs go up and stirrups, the questions about the vagina, just roll off their tongue. Women have a lot of questions. There's a lot of issues that go on answer. There's so much taboo and embarrassment. And it just felt to me like we need to engage. We need grassroot movement to bring the vagina front and center and really as a metaphor, right. I mean, the vagina is a metaphor for us women. Totally. That was really it. I mean, we have this change of cultural taboos and sensationalizing everything there was about this amazing and mystifying, Oregon, we call the vagina.

 

06:10

And you said that sometimes when you went on new shows, and then I think you went on a cooking show, you got pulled aside and they were like, you can't use the word vagina. Yeah, I mean, the morning shows, you know, cafe latte and oatmeal and fruit, right. Giant just wouldn't mix in. Well, I mean, according to you know, some of the newscasters there. But Rachel Ray had me on her show, love Rachel. I thought, you know, it was after 12 I think that was sort of the time zone that the vagina could be slowly.

 

06:42

We're talking about the clitoral PMS, menopause. And the producer pulled me aside and she, you know, said before I went on, she's like, you know, our demographics are touchy with this. And legally, we have to be careful. And you can only say the word vagina once.

 

07:02

And you cannot say clearest and I'm like, really? Okay, okay, I can do this, I can do this. So I thought I would use the word vagina once when I was talking about my book. And then I would use all the fun, you know, nicknames for everything else. But anyhow, I used it once. And then when I saw the show, 24 hours later, they cut the word vagina out. So I was heartbroken. And I even asked Rachel, during the show, and I, you know, we're talking about all the fun nicknames. I said, What do you call yours? Oh, my gosh, I don't think they could cut that segment out. Because, like, you know, deer in headlights? Did you have a good one? I don't have a good one. I think I just call it vagina. I'm going to ask you Next, but she's like, I don't have a name. I don't have a name for the vagina. And I'm like, Okay, and then she just was like, she was really dumbfounded. She's, you know, she later A few minutes later, she says, I'm feeling really bad. I don't have a name for my vagina. So I was curious. What do you call yours? I don't think I call it anything. I think when my kids were little or my daughter was little, it might have been like, the JJ private parts. Probably private parts was the most generic thing, but I don't have like a super sexy, sexualized one for myself at all. But maybe I should come up with one. I can give you my list anytime. Let's talk about a few of them. I mean, I know there's private bids. vajayjay Happy Valley. Is there anything else? You know, the notorious vag tunnel of Harry Potter? Oh, Easy Bake Oven. Oh, wow. That's a good one. I haven't heard that one. Happy Valley is always kind of nice. That's kind of funny. I saw that in your book. And I was like, Wow, that's so true. But it's also like pain in the ass Valley too. It's like Eastern factions, bladder and factions, hormones. What's happening? Well, you know, it's just shocking to me that 40% of women had code names for their vagina and 65% of women are uncomfortable saying the word vagina. So, you know, if you can't say it, then how can you actually talk about some of the issues that we have? So, you know, this vagina revolution was meant to address so many of these types of issues that, you know, part of what I do all day, I just knew women were wanting and dying to have more conversation. So as a female gynecologist, you probably have a little bit better luck than male gynecologist in terms of like digging deep, right? metaphorically? Yes. I mean,

 

09:38

well, you know, the average time a doctor and patient spend together is seven and a half minutes. You know, how do you get into some of the more sensitive issues that women have about their bodies and about their vagina, painful sex, you know, not having orgasms. You just can't do that in seven and a half minutes. Right now I understand that. It's like the pap smear now

 

10:00

It's sort of like the rectal exam, which I'm like almost dying. I'm like, Is there any easier way of doing this?

 

10:08

Yeah. No hard. Oh my god. So in terms of the second half of life, I want to get into the details on what is a well maintained vagina look like and feel like like what are the tools, the potions the exercises, so that we can treat our vagina like a queen? Well, you know, here's the thing. You have to think about your vagina in a way that you can't wait to the second part of life. Okay, like, I think that's Mistake number one. And, you know, the truth is, we're not really taught any differently. I mean, we're just now starting to say the word vagina. You know, thanks to me to movement and Trump and his pussy generation. Sorry, I had to bring that up. Yeah, that's okay. You know, women now are like, not only do we want to talk about it, now we want to talk about the giant, we want to take care of it. We want to clean it, we want to know how to maintain it. So it's never too soon to start. I guess that's part of my but you also said that it's never too late. So I don't want people to be discouraged that if they haven't been in this whole feminine maintenance ritual, that it's too late right now, it's definitely never too late. You know, because the vagina is the skin of the Volvo. Let's just start on the outside. You know, because by mid life, a lot of us have had a couple days. We've been doing Soul Cycle. We've been sort of hormonally off balance with perimenopause and menopause. So there's a lot of things pulling to making the vagina you know, well lived. So what we have to do what we have to do, we have to cleanse and hydrate and moisturize the vulva, and inside the vagina, and we have to do it ladies. with conviction, with you know, homework, doing it every night, and really doing what we do for our face. I always say this, because if we took care of our role, and our vagina, and it's never too late, it's never too late for you, Sarah. Okay, great. Yes. Well, you see, we're gonna live to almost at one at least. So I mean, I still have time. I've like 40 years left on this vagina. Yeah, your vagina at age 81. You're gonna want to show it off. Totally. So it's about moisturizing. It's about hydrating, you know, you can do some very basic things by a handful of extra virgin coconut oil in a warm bath water, soak in at 2030 minutes. Do that at least three times a week, four times, five times a week, you will notice the vulva transforming and the dryness and so on. Okay, I have to interrupt you extra virgin coconut oil on my vagina or in a bathtub. Well, what you want to do is handful in warm water. Okay, and then it you know, dissolves and then you soak in it. It's a great hydrator and it's very natural. And don't get the kind that smells like Maui or you know, Fiji, right. But is this like I go to Whole Foods or the supermarket and I buy extra virgin coconut oil? Yeah, I mean, you can do almost anything with extra virgin Cobra, it can be very basic go to Amazon. Just very organic, but doesn't have to be high end at all. There's no extra stuff in it. No extra fragrances and nothing fancy. So just put a handful in there and soak it will hydrate the external, the vulva. And that's really one of the areas that takes a beating with aging and childbirth and hormonal changes. If somebody doesn't know what a vulva is, can you explain to us in sort of a, I can I can even show a diagram if you want. Okay, and then we'll have to, we'll have to show it later. But can you tell me and tell us like can show my god she's holding on or up pregnant Barbie? Okay.

 

14:11

So just tell us like if we're holding a mirror down there, the vulva is something we can see. Is it partly inside for those of us who need a little anatomy lesson? Okay? This is a really good point because some of you may not have actually looked on there. But I encourage everybody after this podcast to get out of mirror, sit on your bed, spread your legs and take a mirror, which you see externally, like we've always called the vagina, the vagina and it's kind of inclusive for all parts female, but that's not quite accurate and you really need to differentiate between the two because the vulva, the lips, they're the things that sort of hang down. You know, it's the little equivalent to male testicles that sort of hang out. They vary in size. You know, no two snowflakes are alike, and some get extras.

 

15:00

stretchy and long over time, right? Like if you've had children or whatever, yeah, but not not like logarithmically No, but they can stretch out and they can change color. That's very normal. They're the lips and there's two lips, a lady menorah, those are the ones closest to the entrance, the whole of the vagina the opening, and then the ones on the outer side or the larger ones. That's the vulva. And that's the area that you know we are waxing and shaving and lasering. And we're sitting on during soulcycle, or bike riding and horseback riding or whatever activities so that area with all its hair follicles, sweat glands, it can get very dry, like vaginas do, I don't know. Or like you're like, it's like your saddle. It's like a saddle of a horse. It could be that that's actually I've never heard that term, Sarah, but I like it. Because it's like you're mounted with it like on soulcycle or whatever you do. That's so funny. I've had women that have have oversized vulva. I've had one that was literally four inches long, it can stretch out four inches long that we had to trim. But for the most part, your vulva, they're never symmetrical. Think about your ears, your eyes, your bras, so you shouldn't freak out. If it looks a little like not symmetrical without they aren't symmetrical. I'm going to check mine out after this. Exactly. You should we all should. Because you have to know what's normal, you have to know your normal before you know what's abnormal. And I think that's really important. But that's the vulva and of course, the clitoral is, you know, at 12 o'clock position, there's a little skin of tissue that protects the glitters called the clitoral hood, you want to know where that part is, that's a must, because that's related to our sexual pleasure we'll get to later. And then of course, where the urine comes out is the urethra. And then the the major opening is the vaginal opening. That's where the tampons go in. That's if you're you know, having any penetration sex with the penis or dildo or fingers, and then the length of the vagina. And that's the vagina that's inside, of course. And you can also maintain, you know, going back to what we're talking about here is hydrating, maintaining the tissue, right? It's very elastic and stretchy. And that can also be damaged over time, childbirth, for example. But we can maintain that tissue very well with hyaluronic acid and extra virgin coconut oil again, and it's something you need to do as a routine. So hydrochloric acid, I mean, I know you're coming out with a whole line of these products of the coconut oil and the hydrochloric acid but until yours comes out in October, what kind of hyaluronic acid would we buy and what chemicals cannot be in it? Well, nowadays, you can get hyaluronic acid, they make them compounding pharmacies, you can get them over the calendar. It doesn't have to be anything special. I don't want to name any brands, because then you're all going to run out and go get it.

 

18:07

Ours is coming up. But hyaluronic acid is just basic. You don't need anything else. I mean, do some extra virgin coconut oil. Use some vitamin B's that are great when you put it on Dr. Sheri like, I know listeners are probably like, what, if you're in the bathtub, I get it. Some of it's going to seep up on the inside, which is what you want, because we all sort of get dry up there in the second half of life. But in terms of where to put it, are you sort of only putting it on the outside and okay with the fact if it kind of like creeps in a little bit? Yeah. So there's different kinds, okay, so there's their little articles that you can purchase, and they're in sort of a hard consistency. Like it's like a little teardrop, like an almond. It's like an almond. And then you put it up to the back of the vagina before you go to bed three times a week, and it just basically moisturize and you do that every night or actually inserting the amen into the vaginal canal. Yeah, but it's exactly kind of like a tampon ish. Well, it's an it's like, yeah, okay, small. It's like it's depository and it dissolves. Exactly. Okay. Okay, I'm sure everyone has a visual now. Oh, my God. Oh my God. So all of these things. I know. No. Amen. No amens and one of the lessons there's also applicators that you can use and insert that into the vagina bedtime too, but either way you put it in. Even badger cell has a pro hydrate that you can get over the counter. It's all about hydrating moisturizing and cleansing the vulva and vagina on a daily basis. What about people they're probably thinking well what about Aqua for and petroleum jelly? What are the thoughts oh noes are bad. The staying power may not be as great as hyaluronic acid because that really gets deep into the tissue but

 

20:00

Those aren't bad as sort of moisturizers. You know, you wouldn't really use petroleum jelly. It's like shitty chapstick. It's like you put on chapstick and it like doesn't last for that long and then you have to reapply in four seconds. Okay, got it. Yeah, you want to use really good products for the vagina made for the vagina. pH balance for the vagina, really vagina friendly. Got it. Now, in terms of your books, I just finished your second book. I mean, it was unbelievable. I couldn't even put it down. I was like, underlining, highlighting, circling, it was unbelievable. So you have 15 chapters in the book, and each chapter. There's a little foreword by a celebrity. And each chapter is a different V for vagina. So I mean, there's like, obviously, 15 of them. But right now, it seems like we're talking about the confident V, can you tell us what you mean by the confident V, and sort of your idea of, it's not just like what you eat, or this or that. But it's the whole idea of how we're supposed to live, you know, confidently, and it was introduced by sila Ward, because sila. If she wasn't an actress, she'd be a doctor, for sure. And she would always come in and she wanted to know when the latest test was, she's neurotic like me crazy. We drive doctors crazy, I think but you know, it's challenging. Yes, I encourage it, because I think it's so important. It's about empowering yourself to take good care of yourself, really starting, you know, when do I get a pap smear the confidence he goes through each decade of what tests you need to do, and not just kind of collage ik I mean, I talked about colonoscopies, bone densities, all kinds of tests that are very important that you you need to be your best healthcare advocate. I mean, it's so important, from what tests you're doing medically, to how you're living your lifestyle, to the foods you're eating. You know, it starts at an early age. And we look about how we can be preventative with our health. And this is the confident V is that person, you know, this, you only you are going to really be sort of the master of your true domain and your body. And that's what the confidence is really about. It sounds like what we all need, we should all be striving for in every part of our life is having the information. Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, again, doctors don't spend enough time educating and it's so important to have a good source of where you're getting educated. Dr. Google can be very confusing. Yes. Oh, you can diagnose yourself with 74 different things in 15 minutes. I mean, I've been down that road before, and most are life threatening, right? Yeah. Oh, totally. Like tomorrow. My husband's like, Can you stop? Like, can you just go to a real doctor? I'm like, okay, okay. So you talk about how the hallmark of 40 plus for the vagina and the makeover is this lack of moisture, and how it's sort of our estrogen dumping Down, Down Down. Can you talk about that a little bit and talk about what our estrogen options are? Yeah. When you say midlife, I think of 50 you may think 40 I you know, let's define that. Because, as you mentioned, you know, when I feel like 40 Plus, it's like once you hit 40 like you kind of feel like you're on the rise like you can't fake it anymore. Yeah, yeah. Because you get 40s is when perimenopause starts, right, exactly. That is when the hormonal gins, you're noticing changes, emotionally, physically but the vagina, the vagina takes a beating, beginning in about your 40s because of estrogen. Estrogen is our superpower hormone. It feminized is us, it helps our skin it helps Regina. And when you have imbalance and when you hit menopause, ladies, it gets bad because you don't have that natural moisturizing hormone. So dryness inside, we can help it by staying on top of it. And that's again, the confident v. You kinda have to anticipate most of us don't know anything about menopause, perimenopause. But again, I think it's so important to learn about it to know like, Well, hey, if I'm moisturizing, early on, it may make those years better. It's never too late to start though in your 40s in your 50s even, we can actively reverse changes and hydrate tissue that really needs to be moisturized. I like how in your book you talk about how a lot of these things that we don't normally think about like moisturizing your vagina, for example, just have to become our new normal and we're used to that right now and sort of our new feminine ritual routine, sort of like you floss your teeth, you moisturize your vagina. That is such a great point because

 

25:00

We don't think about when I tell women like, hey, if you took care of your vulva vagina, like your face daily, you would really prevent a lot of premature aging and you'd have a lot less dryness and itching and irritation and rashes and sensitivity of the outside, and you only have penetration sex, those lips get dragged into the vagina sometimes, but if they're more moisturized and hydrated, there's less tearing and less discomfort in general. So it's never too late. But Sara, this conversation is really helpful to like your daughter totally, totally have the best vagina on the block. Oh my god, we're gonna be teaching her early on. Well, she thinks I'm a gynecologist. Already. Little does she know that you're already the vagina whisperer.

 

25:48

I think you're pretty much a gynecologist. You know, you talk the talk perfect. Oh, my gosh. But going back to the estrogen options. I mean, obviously, there could be 14 episodes on estrogen, but generally speaking, I think of it as hormone replacement therapy, estrogen patches bio identical and birth control pills. Am I missing anything? I got those from your book? Yeah, you know, so depending where you are hormonally, like if you're in perimenopause, you may not need HRT birth control pills are very safe and women in their 40s they have a lot of health benefits for non smokers. Of course, they, you know, make your periods really light they they get rid of cramps, they reduce your incidence of ovarian cancer, can I admit to something right now, I'm 45 and a half, and I'm still on birth control pills. Well, you may see a lot of women want to stay on as long as possible. I know some of my friends are like I got heavier with it. And I'm cranky, and I'm this and my body is like crazy without birth control pills. When I had to get off to get pregnant with my children. I was like a mental case. Well, it's hormonal II balancing.

 

26:56

So you can say a lot, it's a very good option. But if you don't want to go on hormone replacement therapy, let's say or you don't want to be on the pill, you can just ride it out a little bit. The patches are sort of the gold standard for hormone replacement therapy, you use the patches because it bypasses the liver, which is a little more protective in low risk women that you know, any breast cancer history or don't have issues related to their bras or liver or blood clots, very safe for those who are symptomatic. And of course you want to be on progesterone. So I'm an advocate for it. I mean, I also recommend for symptoms, not the dryness issues and not sort of what we're talking about. But for symptoms, you can also use certain herbs work really well that have been studied and are safe alternatives as well. Are those like the adaptogens those kinds of things for mu passionflower extract is a good one. And I actually have some supplements that I use that have passionflower extract, ashwagandha chasse, Berry, royal jelly, chromium fenugreek there's a whole bunch of them that have been studied and work really well for mild symptoms related to hormones and perimenopause and menopause. Oh my gosh, there's so much here. Okay, so the other thing you mentioned your book where I was like what? You said that when you get older, your vagina actually gets more narrow, like the hole gets smaller. Can you dip into that for a second? Did the word die? Oh, did I didn't mean that. Here's the thing. If you're having regular sex, what's regular penetration? Everyone's regular sex at this point is so different. Believe me, my friends and I talk about it all the time. They're like, how often do you have they're like, is sex once a week? Normal? Is sex once a month normal. I mean, if I'm nice, I try to like aim for once a week. I'm like too old for that shit all the time. You know, well, once a week is average once a week is average, to have sex penetration sex. So the collapse V is a word I use that we tend to see not necessarily menopause, but we can see it. It's when you're not having frequent penetration. It could be a breast cancer survivor, you're not having frequent penetration. You know, you could be you haven't been on match.com for a year and you haven't been getting any, you know, your vagina opening collapses a little bit. Of course, you could be in menopause. It gets smaller, it gets narrow, and that's what happens. So combo menopause dryness. Getting narrow is what I call the club's v. But vaginismus patients who have you know, true problems related to they can't have penetration they have a collapse view to I see. No but what about this notion it kind of seems counterintuitive because I know that people who've had vaginal births are like Oh, my vagina is so loose and it's like sloppy sags and kind of gross but then at the same time you're saying it the holes getting smaller I don't get it. I had two c sections I'm like intact thankfully. I mean I've other issues like a scar, but you got to get it one way or the other. They say either do surgery now or surgery later.

 

30:00

Totally, but here's the thing if you're young, I mean, look, you're under 40 you're having regular penetration. You've had a couple babies, you know, yes, that more vaginal births you have the whole can get bigger. The Vagina is very elastic, but it doesn't like stay open. If you you know, have birthday and anniversary sex. I don't care how many babies you've pushed through that hole. It's not going to maintain that the same opening. And as a gynecologist, I can tell you know, this is really happening. You're like a sex spy.

 

30:33

I can tell who's having it more often than not. That's so funny. Now I'm gonna have sex before I go to the gynecologist.

 

30:42

You've already told me have sex once a week, you're gonna be good, you know, depending on the size of your husband. Right? I mean, if your husband looks like this, oh, my God, I

 

30:54

think we're just normal. I think we're good. I think we're normal. So I think it depends. I mean, it's infrequent intercourse. And I'm really mean infrequent. You know, every few months. It's often combination of that. I don't think I would get away with that. But yeah, well, you said, I mean, you're being good to your partner. It's a good thing. But yeah, there are many reasons why that hole can get smaller and, and a lot of it has to do with you know, frequency and hormonal status and, and really what's happening. Okay, you talk about the self cleaning vagina, I have to understand what you're talking about here. Well, you know, everybody talks about the giant self cleaning and it sort of is self cleaning. But even you know, it's like your oven at home is self cleaning. Right? Yeah, but it could still get junky in there. Well, but you still have to clean the stovetop. Yeah, that's true. This is a metaphor I like to use because the vagina inside with all its, you know, 30 or so foot soldier organisms. You know, keep the vagina clean, it keeps it balanced. You know, it's acidic, right? It likes it acidic pH balance and that's protective. And like our natural discharge, like our tears, you know, it cleans it kind of cleans out the vagina, but the external, the glands, the sweat glands, hair follicles, all the things we're doing to the outside. And it's sweat right? You need to clean it with vagina friendly products. What is a vagina friendly product and what are we looking for? Well, this is you know, part of what I'm doing with erza intimates is that there are a few other Of course you spell aresia for urgent intimate so people can look it up you are j intimates and really what I did was well summer's eve of course and badges cell but probably the two been around the longest products for women and they are pH balance their their vagina friendly, you know, no additives. We took it a step farther with urge so aresia beauty is a very clean beauty line that really attracts or caught my eye because there was no chemicals, no parabens, no fragrances, and they use CBD. Because CBD is anti inflammatory. It's not going to get you know you're so now we're putting CBD in our vagina. Well, not quite yet. But yes, I mean soon it's coming. There are products because you know that's not going to get you high, but it is help as an anti inflammatory. So urgent beauty is creating with urgent intimates. It's really a skincare line for the vulva and vagina. We have a personal wash called vibrant v. It's meant to cleanse, hydrate and moisturize really what I talk about every day, it's just a really pure and kind of healthy clean beauty for the vulva and the vagina. And then there's an oil, so the oil you can use in your bath, which is extra virgin coconut oil, hyaluronic acid. We're using some CBD and other sort of anti inflammatories that are very good for the skin and it's going to be amazing. And then there's the oil I gave you the oil. Yeah, it's gonna be like a vagina toolbox. Exactly. in your bathroom. I'm so excited and proud of it because there's really not one made by an OB GYN. And I talked about this so long and it just kind of worked out like let's take care of a vagina and vulva like our face let's just do it. Let's commit to it. You know brush our teeth manifested your dream of creating a hairline

 

34:32

it came to me and just the greatest way and so I'm really really excited. So check it out. Yeah, how did it come to you again legs and stirrups ladies, I think she's come to me. So it's like synchronicity. I talked about that in one of my episodes about how sometimes things just happen. You have a conversation. You go to a party you weren't planning on going to you meet someone and doors open. So I think that's a really good takeaway too. for everyone. Yeah. Is I agree with you, you know?

 

35:00

Taking the time to have those extra conversations because now you have a whole vagina skincare line. Yeah, no, I would say terms of like vagina spa time. What are your thoughts on like the V steam? Or the Korean spa? steaming. I can't say I've done it because to me that sounds like like a yeast infection on fire.

 

35:19

Yeah, well, do you have opinions? I mean, the Mayan women. And you know what it felt like? They were doing things long before Gwyneth and goop got a hold their hands on it, right. Gwyneth is so pretty and so amazing that she can make anything amazing.

 

35:37

Could have kudos to her all tonally. He's got the conversation going on, which I really love. So they're steaming the outside to cleanse, hydrate and moisturize. I mean, that's really what it's doing. The ones that claim to treat fibroids and infertility and endometriosis and breast cancer and some of the ones that have gone a step further, obviously, I don't buy into but i i do think if it's kept at a bit of a distance, and it's not really going into the vagina itself the space, you know, there could be some nice soothing cleansing aspects of it. But again, if you're taking care and maintaining and you got that confident Vigo and I think you don't have to necessarily go to Korea Town. I mean, it seems like a maybe a fun thing to go with a bunch of close friends or your sorority sisters. But like you said, it seems like a one time affair where you're saying no, no, you got to moisturize three times a week. Yeah, I mean, think about it, it just the tissue is going to age so much better in the long term. But I think it could be fine. I mean, I've done it with my you know, Delta Gamma sisters and we've gone down there and then go, you know, drinking Korean beer and doing karaoke.

 

36:50

With very clean feeling vulva, you know, and you're very confident v when you're down in Korea Town.

 

36:58

That's right. I mean, wow. If that's your goal is to you know, really give your vulva vagina sort of a gift. You can give them a gift, you know, every day. Yeah, really, you know, taking care of but we're just starting this conversation and look, 50 is a great time. 40 is a great time. 20 is a great time. Anyone that you know, has a vagina, love someone's vagina, or they wish they had the vagina. Totally. That's when you want to start taking care of it. No, I love it. So in terms of the second half of life, from what I'm hearing, there are three main issues in addition to or related to estrogen. One's vaginal dryness, one's painful sex and one's inability to orgasm. Right? Yeah, I read your book really deeply.

 

37:48

You take some good notes. I did. I did. These are really, really common problems. And you know, the first one, you talked about, you know, vaginal dryness, as it relates to sex, right? I mean, there's many reasons why you have dryness, I mean, we've kind of blamed it on estrogen for a long time in this conversation, but we're talking about sex and what drives women is our desire. So the most common reason that you're gonna have vaginal dryness is because you're not having a foreplay. If a man it takes him five minutes to have an orgasm, but a woman is 20 minutes, but you only have 15 minutes, because you're tired, and you got to put the kids to bed or you know, you know, you got to get up early to do carpool. There's a disconnect, often relationship. So there's many reasons for that, you know, pain with intercourse as it relates to vaginal dryness infection pills, you're taking not enough for play and of course, hormones. Those are some of the causes. The other one, you mentioned inability to orgasm. Oh, yeah. And you said that not a lot of people want to talk about that with their doctors. Yeah, I mean, here's the other so sad part. 10 to 20% of women have never had an orgasm in their lifetime. Wow, that's 10 to 20% too many. But again, this is about taking that mirror that we just talked about in the beginning, looking at your parts, looking at your lady parts. Where's that clearest? Where are those 8000 nerve fibers double that of a man, I need to get to know her really well, so that I can please myself and this is or tell your husband or spouse or whoever. what feels good. That's the other kind of interesting part of this whole thing is a lot of women don't speak up for themselves. Exactly. And there's a lot of cultural changes happening and these kind of podcasts are so great, Sarah because women are empowering themselves in hopefully we won't be seen that 10 to 20%. But you know as we age also just going to mention menopause. Again, less blood flow to the vulva less blood flow to the clitoral, so orgasm can take longer and it can sometimes be harder to have certain medication

 

40:00

That you may be having and, you know, again, communication with your partner is so important. Wow. And you talk about the clutter as the out of service clutter us. Can you break that down for us? You know, the added service cleaners? I mean, again, desire, you know, I always ask, Are you masturbating? And sometimes No, I'm depressed. I'm not feeling good. I've gained weight, I'm not exercising. So first, you have to kind of love yourself a little bit to even want that desire. You know why people have a lack of desire, the list is long. But I think that's really important, because that's going to put your clit out of service. And then of course, are you communicating with your partner? What do you like? I like it here like it this way. Sometimes you have to bring in a vibrator. vibrators can get the job done so much faster, too. So these are some of the reasons to add a service your clutters? Do men ever feel like the vibrators are a replacement for them? Some men get a little intimidated by the other favorite v. The vibrator because, you know, look, vibrators are efficient. They're easy. You know, you control it. It can happen within minutes. They're really efficient. For us multitasking women. vibrators can be really nice too. So men can be threatened. But again, a lot of guys, I for this for my patients, bring it into the bedroom, show that you want to be empowered sexually show them I like this. They may even be happy, right? No, I definitely see both sides of it. For sure. And thanks for thanks for the vibrator that you sent me in the bag. I'm pulling everything out. And I'm like, Thank God it just says massager because my 14 year old probably like, what is that? I don't know what that is. So do you use a vibrator in the bedroom? I have to tell you I don't I have to be totally honest. Maybe you don't need it, then. I actually don't feel like I do. But I shouldn't really say that. I don't know. I think there's a time and a place for everything. I think right now I'm good. You know, I'm also busy with this podcast and driving myself insane. I'm also a lot nicer to my husband when he helps me fix my computer get stuff done. That's sort of like the aphrodisiac I think it's like, oh my god, you're me. Thank God, thank God, you know, I'm always like, God, what could he do for me right now, you know, that never ends for sure. Now in terms of revamping the vagina, I want to get into exercise in the vagina. I feel like we're adding a lot of tasks or rituals to women's plates, but I think they're so important. From what I've read, it's kind of like this, use it or lose it. situation. You know, it's true. It's true. And body maintenance from head to toe does take effort. Now Qigong exercises, they are the most important exercises, us women need to do kinkle exercises help support the pelvic floor. Those are our muscles. We can't see. We can't really see how well we're doing. But they're important because they get damaged with aging with of course, childbirth, vaginal childbirth, I'm sure Sir, you have a really good strong pelvic floor, right? I mean, I think so because I had two c sections. Yeah. But they're really important to you because it helps prevent loss of urine, which is really common, you know, later in life, when you have like the sneeze drop of pee, and you're like, Oh, yeah. You can't trampoline with your kids. You can't exercise. So it's really, really common. And that's another really taboo topic in this book. I don't know if you read about the leaky v course I did. You know, so kigo kigo keel, very important. So can you explain the key goal so that if listeners don't know what we're talking about, and kind of tell us how we can try to do it as we talk right now. And as they're driving their cars or wherever they're listening? Yeah, I just did 10.

 

44:02

So, okay, again, you know, these muscles are in your pelvic area, they support your uterus, your bladder, your rectum. So by contracting them, you are really strengthening all these areas where the P comes out where you poop, and yeah, and the vagina itself. So what you want to do is, the best way to find it is you start to pee. And when you pee, stop your flow right in the middle, stop your flow, hold it for three seconds, release it, let the flow go. And then do it again. You sort of hold your urine, three seconds, three to five seconds, and then you let it go. Those are your keadle muscles. That's one way of finding them the other ways you can actually put two fingers inside the vagina and contract that some people need an identifying piece. I have these Kygo balls that you can put in there different weights and you can oh my gosh, it's like the Jane Fonda Workout.

 

45:00

Yeah, exactly. Dinah. Listen, whatever helps focus, right? We all need a bit of focus, honestly. Wow. Okay, so how many k goals should we be doing a day, so at least 50. But you can do them in reps of 10. Right? The more you do it, you're going to identify it. And then when you have to pee, you know, Sarah, when you got to sneeze, you're gonna automatically do that contraction. And guess what, you're not going to pee. And that's going to be a good thing. It's great for sex too. You can keep it on your partner's penis or fingers and they are great for orgasm. It helps you improve your orgasm too. So kinkos or when, when and you should start them immediately. Really, again, going back to start I hope the listeners have already done 10 in the conversation that we've had here. But you're saying like even at my daughter's age, if I didn't want to scare her that I was really a gynecologist. She could start doing the key goals. Yeah, if you mentioned Cagle, she may be terrified. My be like, Oh my god, she's gone crazy. Yeah, definitely do it. Ladies. So so important. Okay, now the next thing that I read about which I've never even heard about are the dilators. Okay, so dilators for all those women we were talking about that have sort of the collapse and treads, menopausal women who are having you know, birthday anniversary sex. Women who may be having a second you explain birthday anniversary sex? I know it is because I saw it on the housewives one of their shows wants, but I had never heard that before. Can you just tell us what that is real quick, because we keep going back to that birthday. anniversary sex are, you know, it's your partner's birthday? Or your it's your anniversary? And you should have sex? So you're having sex twice a year? Yeah. Maybe you don't have to have sex on your own birthday? No, no.

 

46:52

Totally, that's great. Listen, I mean, there are some women, sadly, that that's what they have your opening or you do have medical conditions, vulvodynia, vaginismus, those are just we're nothing, not even a tampon can enter because you sort of either have pain in voluntarily collapse the entrance, you tighten down, you know, our breast cancer thrivers that haven't had sex in a long time. You know, there are many reasons that they need the entrance and the vagina itself to be slightly open. So dilators are different size inserts that go in some you have to lay down for for 20 to 30 minutes, four times a week. And they help open because you increase the size, and you allow the vaginal opening to slowly increase. Not like gaping no just kind of more flexible. Exactly. Because the tissue is elastic. It's like the flexible neurotic, that

 

47:45

you have to gather all your information. So you can be more flexible. But I read that you have your own dilators. Now, there's a different way of using them, like you can walk around with that man. Sorry about that. So you know, again, in medicine, like if things don't exist, like driving me crazy, and I'm just like, I gotta make my own the traditional dilators you have to lay down for 20 to 30 minutes, you know, three or four times a week, that's a lot like for patient said to me if I'm laying down, I'm either sleeping or dead. So I said I need to make a wearable dilator. But do you actually contract and do cables onto them, ideally. And it goes, I should probably get them and show them to you but and I have a portable vagina case on my gosh, this is unbelievable. Anyhow, so you can actually insert them, you know, put a little extra virgin coconut oil, you progressively go up in size, but you insert them for you know, 2030 minutes, and you wear them. Like I'm wearing my dilator now No, you're not getting

 

48:50

a good one. You can you know cook dinner you can work out you can, you know actually sit at the computer. So the compliance is much better. And I have women all over the country. Going to my Dr. Sherry side and looking at some of these sexual wellness products and ordering them. I'm gonna put this on my show notes. So if anyone's wanting to buy all this stuff, it'll all be there. They don't always exist and doctors don't talk about it. And you know, it's just we have to talk about it. Like that's what I love about your show and you're just getting down into the you know, gutter what has to be talked about, because I know it's helping women as this conversations evolving. I mean, I hope so because my mom's probably catatonic right now in this conversation like, Oh my gosh, but no, the dilator thing is definitely super interesting. I'd never heard of that before. So if you're not having sex on a regular basis, it should be sort of part of your routine so you don't end up with a collapsed vagina. Yeah, so actually, you know, even if you're having sex once a month or your partner lives, you know, by Coastal, you know, you can use the dial it I mean, it doesn't have to be my dilators or dilators. You know, you could use a dildo.

 

50:00

Similar if you're having sex with the man, for example, you could find a dildo that's his size and insert it, you know, in between weekly right once a week is sort of all you need. I don't care if you're using cucumber, right, right, you're using something. So if any of you guys heard a little bump in the road, we had a little technical problem, but at least I got to go key. And now we're back. Hi, Dr. Sherry. Hi. Okay. I think where we left off before a little technical bomb was we finished up on dilators. But I did want to show you what they look. Oh, you're showing it to me. Okay, you guys, this looks, these are the traditional, okay, she's showing me something that looks like a french fry with the circle on the end. Okay, and these are the wearable that you can actually insert and wear and walk around and Wow. Okay, that one looks like a pacifier with a long part on the pacifier part. So the end of the pacifier the flat part hangs out of your vagina and lays into your underwear and then the long french fry thing goes up. Okay. Wow. around with that? No, for sure. Okay, I'm gonna go with your dilator and things.

 

51:14

Oh my god. Okay, so now that we've covered the dilator situation, Botox, can you explain that to me? Well, Botox, it basically relaxes muscles in the face, and you inject it into wrinkles, it relaxes the muscles. So it can do the same thing for different medical conditions of the bladder, for example, for overactive, hyperactive bladder, where you have to pee a lot, you know, frequency of urination, they inject Botox into the muscle of the bladder and relaxes it. And similarly for women that have this contraction of the entrance vaginismus, for example, or it's involuntary, so nothing can go inside the vagina. They can inject Botox and that can also relax the muscles that enter the vagina. Okay, my mouth is at my knees. No one else can see that except for you. So I'm just giving everyone a visual on that. Is that something you do? Where do you get vagina Botox? Are you thinking about it? I'm asking you do you do vagina Botox? Where do you go to for that, if it was a bladder condition, you would go to urologist because they specialize in that, because it has to be done through a special cystoscope they call it and then for the ones for vaginismus patients, you know, specialists that deal with pelvic pain as it relates to vaginismus. They do it because you know, there's physical therapy for the vagina, right? I know, we're gonna get to that that's on my list. But with the Botox for the vagina, it's just sort of like the same as you would get in your face. But in your lady bits in your bladder and in the entrance of the vagina, in your experience, have your patients had really good luck with that? Yeah, it actually works pretty well. And some women that have a lot of sweating in the vagina and the vulva area, they also can get injections as well. So feel like I'd be sweating with all that oil down their

 

53:12

vagina, so maintain. Yeah, exactly. It's so lubed up in simoleons. So you have had patients with success? Does it hurt? That sounds awful? No, I don't think it hurts any more than the Botox you get in your face or some of those things. It's not it's not painful. I think it's more painful to have overactive bladder or pain at the entrance when trying. And is it the same thing as like, you have to refresh it every few months like you do your fat every three to six months. Oh, God, this vagina maintenance is like a lot. Wow, it certainly can be. Oh my gosh, wait, I have a totally random question. Going back to the glitters for one second. I read somewhere that the clutter is is the only organ in the body that's only function is for pleasure. Is that true? That's absolutely true. So that's God's gift. That was God's gift to women. Was this little piece eyes, Oregon that can give so much pleasure. Wow. And some women who don't have orgasm through vagal penetration? can do it through clitoral stimulation. Yeah, well, most women that have vaginal penetration. I mean, only 25% can actually have an orgasm. Usually the clitoral has to be stimulated in some way and 70% of women, that's the way they can have an orgasm is with some sort of stimulation of the clitoris. I see. So is that something that you get into when people say oh, I've never had an orgasm before? Like, do you say to them Have you ever had an orgasm with this other part? Well, you know, usually what I'll do because I do ask you know my patients are you having trouble with an orgasm? Have you ever had one and you know, I've had women in their 40s and 50s say they've never had one and it's just giving them permission to

 

55:00

You know, you really have to spend some time with the cleaners to know what feels good. You can't have distractions. You have to give yourself some time and a good lubricant and something that you can massage it or use a vibrator. Train yourself because orgasms are to some extent and sexual activity is a learned behavior. Yeah. And you also can't be distracted because I think especially for women, as you said before, so much of it of the sexual experience is mental. So if you're like, spaced out, checked out, I mean, I guess unless you're fantasizing about Brad Pitt or something. I don't know. Like it would be hard if you if you weren't focused on it, so I could definitely see that. Okay, so wait, we've covered dilators, Botox cables, vibrators. I mean, I got one dropped off to my house today by you. And like I said earlier, my daughter opened the bag and thank God said massager because she would have been like, what what's a vibrator? She probably thought it was a neck massager. So tell me a little bit about your opinions on vibrators. How we can use them. I know we touched on it for a second and what your favorite one is. And why. Because like I know if I walk into goop in the Brownwood country, Mark, there's like a million different vibrators that I'm like, What's happening here? No, I mean, vibrators are just a nice way to enjoy sort of the sexual experience. It does make the orgasm a little easier. I mean, they've been sort of taboo for so long. But it's a really nice way. The one I gave you, of course, that's actually external use, and you use it externally, on the clearest and the vibration is really nice for the clearest and it helps you have an orgasm a little bit more efficiently. And that's why it's somewhat of a girl's best friend and you can bring it into the bedroom and use it while you're having penetration sex because only 25% are going to actually without touching the clitoral at all are going to have an orgasm. I mean, 10% of women can have an orgasm with kissing. There are some women that can have an orgasm with exercise. Not very many, even with childbirth, definitely not me, definitely.

 

57:09

So it just, you know, depends and sort of want to use it in moderation. You know, like, sort of, can you over do it because it does work really well. I mean, vibrators also bring blood flow to the area. And that's a good thing promoting blood flow to the clearest and it's just a nice way of having an orgasm, and it makes it really efficient. So, an orgasm through a vibrator or just the use of a vibrator, I guess would be part of this exercise routine of maintaining your vagina. So if for example, you had cancer or some kind of illness, or you were recently divorced, or like you said a spouse lives across the country, for some reason, you keep your vagina in shape by using this vibrator. It's like they use it or lose it. You don't have to use a vibrator. But I think it's kind of nice. A lot of women. I mean, I had this one woman, she would use it in the morning. First thing she got up and then she used it before she goes to bed because having an orgasm is sort of medically nice. It increases your heart rate. It's a natural sleeping pill. So a lot of women like it. And it's very relaxing and stress reducing and with COVID and all the things that are happening in this world. You know, at the end of the day before you go to bed, it's really everyone run out and get a new router or ordered on Amazon and hope your kids don't open the pack yet. Let me know what upsets you is the one that I really like because the material is very soft. It's made of silicone and it's very gentle and it has different speeds. And it's, you know, it's kind of a deluxe vibrator. I like it. It's amazing. You can get it on my website. They're kind of nice and gentle. And what's the brand of it again, I'm gonna have it in the show notes. But if people are it's part of Shakeology product, it's part of your brand. And are there different ones of your brand or just that was one? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my gosh, this is a lot. Okay, so now we're gonna move to physical therapy. When I read physical therapy for the vagina, I was like, no way. Like, is this just an LA thing? Or is this like, for real, it's for real. I mean, this is going back to sort of a lot is geared around pelvic floor dysfunction, or loss of urine. This is where you know PT for the pelvis is really taking on because they work a lot with dilators. They do a lot with internal massage, you know, they're looking at sort of where there's tension and stress with the pelvic muscles and the ligaments. And so it's a whole thing and you go weekly, you know, twice a week. So there are ways that make it really, you know, medical, and there's sort of a nice treatment and there's some really great ones that I work with a lot. So with sexual dysfunction, especially physical therapy is really fantastic.

 

1:00:00

Wow, that is just so interesting. I can't it's hard to imagine that but you know, I guess there's always something new to learn, right? This whole episode is something new to learn for me. Now in terms of like the going back to the vibrator for a second. Is there any way that like somebody could overuse it or desensitize themselves? Sort of like you would imagine a teenage boy with porn or an adult man with porn? Yeah. Well, look, I mean, you know, vibrator addiction is definitely a real thing. You know, moderation and life. Right. moderation and life and and health and indulgences and accesses. Right, you know, and with vibrator use, I mean, yeah, if you only have an orgasm with a vibrator, because it's so easy. You know, that could be a problem. As long as you're not letting it interfere with work and getting out of bed in the morning, you know, school or your current relationship, you know, then it's acceptable. So you always have to think about moderation. I know one of my close friends. She goes, Yeah, everyone's a morning when my husband walks the dog. That's my time. I know everyone's going to be out of the house. The kids are at school, maybe not now with COVID. But my kids are at school, my husband's walking the dog, and that's my time with my vibrator. And I was like, You're joking, right? Like, I just can't even believe that. It's like part of your schedule, but it cracked me up. Yeah, it's a girl's best. No. And then my other friend, I went on a girls trip and she gets to the airport. And she's like, Oh, my God, I have the worst rash on my vagina. And I was like, why even married at the same person for like, 1000 years and shows. I had this vibrator, and I don't think it was silicone. Like, I think it was latex. And now I have a whole allergic reaction. I'm taking Benadryl and I thought, oh my god, like, who thought that vibrators could be so complicated. They're very complicated. And that's really why I created one with this company called exotics. Because I knew that a lot of women were having problems and, you know, and the material and it's, it can be complicated. Wow, I know. I was like, okay, those are two vibrator, stories of friends. Scary. Okay. Now, I've also heard of something called the Mona Lisa, can you explain that? Yeah. I mean, the Mona Lisa is basically a Derm abrasion of the inside of the vagina, similar to your face, you know, you're removing dead cells with a laser and it's increasing blood flow. It's kind of resurfacing to some extent, it's really, really helpful for this vaginal dryness issue as it relates to women who are having problems with dryness and it's 3d. It's not really it feels like little rubber band snapping. Okay, that sounds pleasant. It's it's tolerable is what your say. It's worth it, you know, because, again, painful intercourse, you're looking for all these different mechanisms. hydrating the vagina, moisturizing the vagina. Again, you think about it, this connection to the face. It makes sense. It's a very delicate, sensitive skin, you have to maintain it. But if you're doing this lifelong, and every day, it's gonna really help keep the tissue vital. Wow. And now, is that something that you do? Or is that something, there's a specific specialist for that? A lot of gynecologists do it. You want to find someone that knows how to do it has the machine and does it a lot because of the settings and you hear about people getting burned and, and different issues. But it's basically it takes like five minutes you do the inside and you do the outside increasing blood flow everywhere. removing dead cells. You do it six weeks apart for three sessions and then yearly. Wow. And so the intended benefits are to add moisture. So you don't have that like suction raisin dry feeling. Exactly. And it does help. And another benefit is it also helps with urinary symptoms, urinary frequency, because again, the bladder sits right on top of the vagina. And so by doing this to the cells around the bladder, urethra, it really also helps prevent sort of frequency of urination. And what's the recovery time so you go in for this sort of dermabrasion Mona Lisa, and how long are you down for it feels like a little sunburn. So inside, it's not uncomfortable. The outside we use a little cream that has some steroid in it, it has some triple antibiotics and numbing and usually by the next day, you're fine it just you apply the cream for those next 24 hours and a lot of people describe it like a sunburn. Interesting. Okay, so now we have all sorts of treatments to add to our feminine ritual and the beautiful second half of life. I think the downside though just is not covered by insurance. Got it? And is it super pricey? Sort of is $800 for each one or for auto for this is total so you'd break it up into three. Okay, yeah. So now that we've covered, moisturizing, replenishing exercising the vagina, and we did cover some pleasure, but there was a section in your book that I was like

 

1:05:01

This is really graphic. And I would like Dr. Sherry just sort of expand on this for us, and you kind of go into this whole thing on orgasms, and the sweet spot and the G spot. Are those all the same things for this pleasure chest of ours, well, everyone has their own sweet spot, you know, I think the real sweet spot is going to be the clearest, because that's really the go to place that people focus on, it's easy to find. And that's really what we learn. Now, the G's spot is a little bit trickier. You know, it's sort of, you know, does it exists, you know, is it really real, and there's always this ongoing debate, but we know it exists. But the G spot you wouldn't get through, like manual stimulate, like, it's, you wouldn't get a vibrator there or you would it's inside, it's deep inside, right? Yeah. So basically, the best way to find it is, it's about three inches. On the top view, insert your finger you're not going to do right now. We'll do that later. I can do giggles though. Yeah, view inserted into the you know, sort of the 12 o'clock position right under the bone. And if you sort of get your second knuckle into the vagina, on the top, anterior side, you'll feel sort of like a soft spongy area. It's on the anterior surface. And it feels kind of like a raisin, you know, it's a little rough. So you can actually feel something there is like a mountain to some extent, and I, you know, it's kind of ridged, and that's the area that is meant to be the G spot. Now there are vibrators to your question that go inside like the rabbit. I've never heard a vine. Okay.

 

1:06:48

Are you kidding? Walking it I say never heard of the rabbit. I'm sure some of my friends have. I'm gonna do a little course. I'm gonna do a little poll. So the rabbit has these little ears. No way. Yeah, that's why it's called that sir. That's why it looks like the bunny. Okay, now I got it. That's sort of hitting the clearest. And then then there's sort of like this internal piece that goes inside and as I'm as ridges, and you know, as all these things. I've never had one to be honest. But I've seen them. And that is what's meant, you know, one of those can stimulate the g sub there's true like G spot vibrators. And so wait a second, if you're one of the few who gets an orgasm from penis insertion, right? Is it because they're hitting the G spot? Maybe? Maybe it Yeah, I mean, that's very possible. I mean, the G spot you know, if it's sexually aroused, and it's stimulated with a penis or a finger, it fills with blood, and it feels really swollen. And this is where some women can actually ejaculate from the fluids that surround the G spot. Oh my god, you're taking me into the next topic. Now my mom is definitely going to be catatonic when she's listening to this. And if my dad's with her, he'll be laughing and she'll be dying about but let's talk about this like squirting thing that you mentioned in your book. What's happening with that? Well, it's the same thing. I mean, you know, the squirting is really this ejaculation, right? And no one really knows how many women are squirting and how many minute women are not but they quote is up to 50% can squirt Do you always see the squirting? I don't feel like I've ever seen that. You've never I guess you've never seen that. Well, I am saying like from myself, but I'm saying like, when I read your book, I read really funny stories about it like somebody gushing, you had all these like funny terms for it. Yeah, well, it's an ejaculation you know, it's a hallelujah for many.

 

1:08:49

It's definitely happens. Is that an issue for some people? Because they're, like, embarrassed by it or whatever, a lot of people And is there anything you can do about it? Or you kind of just go with it and say fuck it and move on? Well, you know, some people can be really embarrassed by it because it can be really wet and messy and a lot of partners think that it's urine. You know, the fluid that comes out is not actually urine, but it can seem like urine at the time and what spot but some don't have a complete ejaculation or a gush. Some just can be very wet. I've had some women who squirt you know, even with having their nipples sucked or giving a blowjob. Wow, okay, moving right along. This is unbelievable. No, I do remember you said it was like the squirting part was sort of like the Super Bowl experience of sex. Or a gushing urban legend. I was like, oh my god. Okay, so moving from squirting kind of sort of related but not really is moving to another part of vagina maintenance in the second half of life or anyhow, any part of the life I

 

1:10:00

Guess but since we're all 40 and above here, we'll say second half, but it's how the vagina tastes and smells revamp. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Well, look, all of us vagina owners, you know, we all sort of know about the odor. from below, write the odor Down Under. And you know, you can tell new smells and you can you sort of know if something's not right, or it could, I mean, it's not meant to smell like a rose garden. But there is sort of a vagina smell we all sort of know our normal. If you don't know your normal, you should take your finger and insert it into your vagina and smell it taste it in a way hottie. Yes. fluids in they're very sensitive to many of our daily feminine hygiene, routine stress, you know, medication, antibiotics, right? No dushane, which you should never do sperm asides, new partners, you know, just odors. So you should kind of know what your normal is. And you can know and hormonal changes like menopause, perimenopause, diet, stress, anxiety, and diet especially, can change the smell and taste of what's coming out of the vagina. Okay, so what can we eat that makes us taste good and smell good. And what should we avoid for that matter? Okay, so the good market lists when you go to the market, pineapple for sure. Healy blueberries, mango, cucumber, lemon, so it's like the Hawaiian summer diet. Right? Green is good. Okay, that's the good that should be on the market list. And then the bad you know, the ABC vegetables, asparagus, broccoli, brussel sprouts, the ones that were supposed to be eating to get all of our plants, right, exactly. Okay, cabbage, tumeric, garlic, onions, alcohol, caffeine. You can sweat it out. It comes out everywhere and your breath and your sweat and your normal vaginal discharge. So you have to be mindful. I mean, people that eat a lot of ethnic food, you let a curry, you know, there's a certain odor that emanates. Oh, sounds so gross. Okay, well, I'm definitely going to keep my supermarket list in the Hawaii zone, but try to eat some normal amounts of broccoli and brussel sprouts. Oh my gosh. Okay, so I know that everyone's sort of wondering in terms of being your own advocate, like you talked about at the beginning, obviously, this could be six episodes unto itself. But in reading your book, I'm just trying to figure out what the tips are for knowing is my vagina. Okay. What are the basic tests and procedures that someone 40 plus 50 plus 60? Plus should be asking for from their gynecologist? Yeah, I mean, I think, you know, the pap smear has changed sort of their requirements, but you're gonna have to talk to your gynecologist, you know, if you're high risk if you have HPV, getting your mammograms, especially over 50. You know, I think that's really important. rectal exams, as you mentioned,

 

1:13:15

bone scans, of course, and what age bone scans? I haven't done that yet. Yeah, it's usually you know, after 50, and depending on your risk factors and your mom's history, and, you know, if you're sort of a thin white female, you might be more at risk. If your mother has, you know, a humpback from Austria process that's going to put you at risk. Depending on your hormonal status, you may want to be checking your FSH janessa dye on thyroid, when you're noticing sort of emotional changes. But other things that are really important is you should always be checking your breasts, you know, self breast exam is really important to do, because you might be the first person to find that lump in your breast. I'm also a big believer in heart disease screening, since one in four women will die of heart disease, and 80% of the risk factors to heart disease can be prevented again at an early age, and often it's the OB GYN that's going to identify those women at risk. Another really important thing is the HPV vaccine. We know about it for our kids, you know, traditionally it was for under 26. Well, now for women, we can give it up 45. So a lot of men who have gotten divorced are out there again, they should really talk to their gynecologist about getting the HPV vaccine. Yeah, I know there's some people who say that it could have certain risks and this and that, but your opinion on it is that as long as your doctor approves it and you're a candidate for it, then it's generally within reason. Yes, exactly. It's very safe. They've done hundreds of thousands of vaccines and the really the the main side effects have to do with the injection site. Some of the things you've heard I'm just really not true. Okay, and are the adult

 

1:15:00

ones the same as the teen ones. Now I think like if you do it after the age of 15, you have to do three instead of two now, like, Is it the same thing for adults? That's correct. Yeah. So basically, the benefits outweigh the potential risks. Absolutely. Hundred percent. Okay. Just to piggyback on that, I mean, what we're talking about here is cervical cancer. And we're seeing that, you know, HPV loves to live in the cervix, and we can test for it. And so if you've gotten the vaccine, it's reducing the incidence of cervical cancer by almost 70%. So that's pretty significant. Wow, that is now their ovarian cancer is not something you can test for correct. There's really no good screening, testing for the masses. I mean, pelvic ultrasound looking at your ovaries ca 125. Yeah, that was gonna be my next question. I always ask for that. And she's like, you don't need it. I'm like, but I want it. So can you tell us about this ca 125? Yeah, I mean, it's, you know, for women at risk, you know, having a mother or a sister and, and grandmother on the maternal side. You know, we are doing kind of random screening every six months or once a year, and with pelvic ultrasounds, but it's not necessarily sensitive, just ovarian cancer can be falsely positive for other medical conditions, like fibroids or endometriosis. So, I think, again, like anything we're talking about, you have to engage your doctor, engage your gynecologist talk about your risk factors, and you know, be your best advocate, but you need to ask the questions. Now with the ca 125. The vaginal ultrasound, I understand, but the ca 125. That's a blood test. Correct? That's right. Uh huh. And what will that tell you exactly? Or over tell you, like you just said, if it's elevated, you know, that might suggest you have an ovarian cancer? Okay. Wow, there's false positives or other things that can cause cause? Exactly. I mean, if you have fibroids, or like I said, if you're on your period, some women will have a false positive. So there's just many other conditions. And that's why it's not the best screening test. I thought it Okay, so in terms of this being your own advocate, I mean, I know patient connection is really huge for you. And you sort of say that we're in charge of our own bodies, we have to be the CEOs of our bodies. And then do you sort of see the gynecologist as the chief of staff? Yeah, I mean, think about it, women under 50, you know, their ob gyn takes care of their feminine health, and kind of any other problem, you know, we're often their primary doctors. So you know, if you're going to use this metaphor, you're going to call it this as the Chief of Staff, you hope that you're gonna colleges can make the recommendations on what other committees you should be sitting on? Yes, exactly. In order to run the country, or you know, your body, right, an ethical and healthy way. Okay, now, that takes me to my next point of, I know, you talk in the book a lot about how you might respect your gynecologists, you might have a connection with your gynecologist, or you might not but in no case is someone a mind reader. And if you don't tell people or gynecologist what your needs are or what your concerns are, they're not always going to say like, do you have an orgasm regularly or whatever? Can you expand on that a little bit? Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of times you're going to go in, your doctor is going to ask about your you know, how your periods are, you know, how you doing? And you may say, Fine, getting into sort of sexual wellness, or other problems just may not be on the tip of your tongue. It's an uncomfortable topic. And, you know, if you don't feel comfortable talking about that, then maybe you need to find another doctor. Because, you know, they may not bring up some of the more sensitive questions. Yeah. And in terms of like, the heart health, how integral is you're gonna call it just in that or should they be? I mean, I'm an advocate for heart health. I'm an ambassador for Go Red and American Heart Association. So I have a real vested interest, but the truth is the OB GYN, you know, if you're pregnant and you have preterm labor or you have high blood pressure, diabetes, a pregnancy that puts you at risk, not a lot of obese are gonna say to you, well, you know, maybe when you're 50, because your father died of a heart attack in his 60s, I may be the first person to suggest that to you. That's really interesting. Go to the cardiologist. Like I said, a lot of us are acting like a general practitioner. You know, again, it's always about finding the right doctors finding those you feel comfortable with finding those you can have a conversation with Yeah, I mean, honestly, you should be my gynecologist because we've gone all over the place here. No, but I do agree with you. I said in another episode that my mom had gone to her gynecologist and he was feeling around her neck and he's like, I kind of feel like you might have a goiter. So she ends up going to a thyroid specialist. She has a goiter.

 

1:20:00

And then I'm like, God, I always get everything my mom gets, I'm just gonna go check. And I was 28 years old, and I wouldn't got checked and I had it too. But had the gynecologist not done that neck exam like she wouldn't have known I wouldn't have known. Right? That happens a lot. I mean, I can't tell you that happens a lot. That's crazy. So Dr. Sherry, switching gears, I have heard that you have a new show coming out, which has an unbelievable name, and it's called the lady parts. Can you tell me a little bit about that and where we're going to be able to find that? Oh, my God, I am so excited about lady parts. So, Lady parts is hosted by Sarah Hyland from modern family, and myself, and it's on Ellen's digital network, her Digital Network space. You know, she has moms planning there. I love that Tiffany hightest has a show coming out to and it's kind of a round table style show and we're inviting guests to talk about you know, feminine health and sex and a lot of have been talking about today. Yeah, we're just like normalizing the vagina talk, right? It's gonna be a real sort of comical lens through it. And, of course, I'll be stating a lot of facts. And it's, you know, talking about vagina myths and healthcare, racial biases and importance of being your best advocate and a lot of things are talking about because now we are out there, we're talking about it and no part no topic, nothing will be left uncovered. So very excited. We're shooting nine episodes. Starting next week. How are you doing that in COVID? while we're doing it like this, similar to how we're doing it? Yeah. And this is on Ellen DeGeneres, Chris's digital network, her digital network, Okay, wow, I can't wait for that. But my husband will really enjoy watching that I'm sure. A lot of

 

1:21:51

the best way to learn is to humor and he's used to me, he's like, oh, gosh, nothing surprises him at this point. I think now in terms of like, normalizing this vagina, talk even more, I know you have three sons and not a daughter. So I want to know personally, what it look like for three boys to have a gynecologist as a mother. Well, you know, some call me the vagina, whisper vagina, doctor to the stars. And my boys. Just call me embarrassing. Yes, yeah, for the most part. I mean, they've grown up with the words vagina and talking to women, you know, I would show up in my scrubs at their football games, and then do delivery. And they're, they're just sort of used to my lifestyle. And they're used to me being out there. And I'm on the board of Planned Parenthood. So for the last 10 years that I'm always bringing condoms home, laying them, you know, buy their car keys, I gave them their first book, she comes first. I know, they were mortified when I gave it to them. But it's all about the messaging and the communication. And that's what I've been trying to do. I mean, it's awkward at first, but they're used to it and vagina just rolls off their tongue very easily. was just you in the house talking about like puberty and porn and all that kind of stuff. No, you know, I mean, it's one of those things that two of the three of them, were

 

1:23:12

curious about it. But yeah, I mean, you know, I'm married to a woman. And, of course, they would always come to her first to talk about some of the things that they don't feel comfortable talking to me. But my kids have grown up with a lot of love, a lot of openness. And I think that's really important in anything in any relationship to model that for our children. And to really, you know, talk about, like, why porn is just not a healthy thing for them to think that this is normal. Oh my gosh, remember, I told you on the phone, my son is 16. He just turned 60. And he got his driver's license, He better not be listening. He won't even be listening because he thinks this whole thing is cringy. But he was cute. He saw me coming upstairs to do the interview with you. And he goes clock mom. So he knows it's important to me, but the whole thing is still cringy for him. But I remember like, the first time I talked to him about porn, he was like, almost mortified. But I think that, you know, after the first couple times, it becomes normal. And he goes, Oh, my God, are you going to have that same conversation with me again, about how if teenage boys watch too much porn, they're going to become desensitized and not be able to have sex with their girlfriends or whoever I'm like, Yes. And he goes, please don't tell me it again. I go, Okay, I just, I'm just reminding you. I'm just reminding you. Oh, yeah. You know, it is hard and awkward to have those conversations. You know, my husband doesn't love it. I have to be honest. But he'll chime in after I've sort of laid the groundwork for it. Yes. Yeah. That's got a tag team. Yeah. He doesn't want to be the first person to like, bring it up. But I know that the other funny thing that we talked about on the phone was this idea of manscaping. And you were like, no way. Do you talk to your teenage son about that? I'm telling you, I bought them. It's arrived.

 

1:25:00

The fresh balls in the river. Oh my god, this is so funny you guys, I told Dr. Sherry that I had had a conversation with my son, not that I'd ever seen anything I shouldn't have seen. But I just said, like, I don't know where you are in puberty. And I know you play a lot of sports and you're sweaty, and you're hot, and whatever, I just want to like, make sure that you know that like, perhaps like a little grooming, maintenance, whatever, whatever it feels good for you. And this is the trimmer that dad uses. My husband's probably dying right now. And I bought him his own. So he has his own. So whatever you want to do is great. And I think at first it was sort of like the porn talk. He was like, I can't believe she's fuckin saying this to me. But then I think it was sort of like a ticket to Okay, now I can ask her a question. Like, how short should it be like, Am I gonna get itchy? It just opened up the conversation the same way I have with my daughter, but with a son. It was great. It was great. Thank you for that. Yeah, as a parent, I've appreciated that. Then I sent you the links, and then you ordered them for your three adult sons, which is hysterical. Yeah, they've arrived, they have them. And then the fresh balls came recommended by a friend. He was like, No, you have to understand it's like so sweaty and hot, and you're running around, and you're working out fresh balls that I got off of Amazon, it has no talc, and it kind of keeps you dry. And I mean, just the whole conversation we had was unbelievable. I was such a crack up. And in terms of like the vagina makeover and like, what men have to do with the vagina makeover? Like, what's their role in it? Well, I think, look, it's communication. You know, it's all about communication. And they have to be involved. I mean, some men, you know, like, no pair at all, get rid of all the pubic hair, other men, they want to trim. Just like we can say we want your area trend and manscape or whatever the wording is, I don't even know. Yeah. But you know, I think it's important that they're involved because you want to just to be very inclusive, right down to your personal hygiene to what you like sexually. And I think it's all part of it. Now, in terms of men with erectile dysfunction, I know I read in your book that you said some of your patients said that having sex with a penis on Viagra is sort of like having sex with a baseball bat. Yeah, it's, you know, how are women like getting around that? It's hard. I mean, this, you know, we're talking about here how menopause dries you up, and how hard that is. And then you add a penis that's on Viagra, where the erection can last for longer than you'd like. It's a bit of a problem. And so this is why women now have to do more to help the vagina you know, really make it the healthy the tissue and moisturize and, you know, maintain it so that we can accommodate things like a viagara penis if need be. But I will say that another thing that I read that you said was is that penis size doesn't matter. Unless it's too big. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, bigger is better, was completely started by men. You know, because too big a penis is not good. I mean, they did a survey with women and women's preference had nothing to do with penis size it had to do with a manscaped clean penis area, you know, that was more attracted to them, you know, sort of a medium sized penis medium sized girth. It was actually girth they preferred her. Wow. Okay, so it's true. Bigger is not better. That is completely a myth. So at least I wasn't off target with my manscaping conversation. I mean, the only reason I knew about that is just because like my husband maintains himself you know what I mean? So I see like, what a put together man looks like you know, so I'm thinking like, Okay, well my son, he should be a part of that too. So now we have a whole joking family conversation about it, which is great. But this leads me into the part of the episode well, we've already done a lot of it but we're going to do a little bit more fun shit about Dr. Sherry be ready. Okay, good. Okay, so what's next on the bucket list? Listen, the bucket list I'm already involved in the conversation which I'm so excited about of you know, really being an advocate for women's health and I'm really excited about urjit intimates and sort of this new intimates, Caroline for the vulva and vagina and, you know, be part of this movement. And then I want to go scuba diving in Fiji. Wow, that's awesome. My husband used to scuba dive I don't I think I'm too scared.

 

1:29:49

Okay, so anything that you have learned that is now on your bucket list after quarantine. It just every day is a blessing. Every day is a blessing. You know, I don't

 

1:30:00

wait anymore. Do now what you've always wanted to do. And just don't wait. So you know, you just don't know what tomorrow brings. So I don't wait. Awesome. Secret pleasure. Other than vibrators. Yeah. Jelly Belly flops. What's that? So jelly bellies have these belly flops, regular jelly bellies? I love jellies. And they're like, they're all funky, different shapes, but they're bigger oversized jelly bellies, so it's just pure sugar. Yeah, yeah. Okay, I'm gonna have to look into that. Now, what's your favorite beauty treatment other than the Mona Lisa and hyaluronic acid? Yeah, it's 30 minutes in the bathtub with a handful of extra virgin coconut oil and a good glass of Cabernet in my hand. Sounds very moisturizing. Now what whoo things do you do? meditation crystals yoga. I'm still old school so put me in a car by myself and listening to Jackson Browne the music really loud. That is what I do to relax. Got it. Okay, favorite TV show that you're watching now or you've watched in the past? Well, I'm a huge fan of homeland. Probably my favorite. I'm watching reruns but eco challenge of Fiji. I have not watched that. Oh, it's so good on amazon prime. It's the real thing. And it's a lot of fun. We're in the middle of the outlanders. Oh, nice. Yes. Nice. My husband. I just picked like one TV show. And we watch one episode probably like every other day, something like that. It's kind of like our watch down. What's the last thing you ordered from Amazon? Well, I ordered the manscaping trimmer on the fresh

 

1:31:50

reasons that you recommended. Oh my god, don't blame me. Don't tell them he came from me. Okay, for you? Is intuition natural? Or do you have to work for it?

 

1:32:02

I feel pretty blessed. That intuition has sort of come easy to me. I think I've worked at you know, just the connecting with patients. And it's really important for me to make that connection. And it's really what I enjoy the most with patients. So intuition just feels very comfortable. And it's the connection that I can make with my patients and people like you that I'm talking with. That's so nice. I love talking to you. Okay, what's the smallest thing we can do today to start our shift towards self recreation and the second half of life? Well, I want us all to get off this podcast. Get a mirror out and look at your vagina. Look at your vulva. I do not want any of you to be part of the 10 to 20% of women who don't have an orgasm. Empower yourself to love your body and love you know your vulva vagina and really take care of it. I love that. Okay, what would your bottom line advice be on finding the sweet spot in the second half of life? You know, live your best life with honesty and kindness and love and surround yourself with those you love and those who love you genuinely. I love that. That's a good one. Okay, so now that we've shoveled for today, we've gone deep we've gone dirty, we've gone graphic and all over the place. I hope you have loved dr Sherry's golden shit nuggets as much as I have. Dr. Sherry I have love digging deep with you. I love talking to you on the phone. I love our podcast I love that you had stuff delivered to my house today. Oh my god. Get ready because I could be your next client but I have to have more than seven and a half minutes It sounds like you do yes I can use a lot of your ideas I could be cabling right now. I hope the listeners are cabling right now as we speak. Where can we find you? So probably the best place is my website Dr. Sherry calm for really everything. I'm going to do a lot of articles for different magazines. I really it's important to me to continue this educational just outreach with everybody. And I have some of my sexual wellness products there and aresia intimates I'm so excited about I'm really hopeful that that's going to really continue this conversation on maintenance and taking care of Our Lady parts. We have so many feminine rituals to add to our repertoire do they're all good though. The vibrant vagina that's what we're all after the vibrant vagina. That's the confident v right? It's a lot of my V's together both my books so yeah, I wanted to say I know what your two books are. But just tell everyone what your two boys Yeah, so she ology was my first book. It was actually one of six of the most life changing wellness books by Women's Health magazine and prevention calm. And my Sheltie the sequel because I could not understand the name that book. I couldn't just talk about the vagina in one book. There was so much to talk about there.

 

1:35:00

Both on Amazon, please check it out. You can also email me I'm pretty. I'm around people email me all the time. I love it. And the book is so easy to read and it's broken down so well that you just like keep turning the pages. It's like there's so much information, but it's so well done. I feel like it could be like a holiday gift for friends. Because there's so much stuff that's in there thing. Oh my gosh, I want everyone to think about what shit they can start doing today. One small step, whether it's moisturizing your vagina, doing the K goals, you don't have to do everything on the first day, just pick one thing, make it a mini habit, and then continue on to the next. I want to thank Dr. Sherry for highlighting the tools and giving us the inspiration to help us revamp our vaginas in the second half of life, and maybe teach our daughters to start earlier than we did. And hence this podcast. Dr. Sherry Ross. Thank you What a pleasure. Thank you so fun talking about blowing you a kiss. All right. Thank you. Bye Bye. Hi, it's me again. I listened to the episode with Dr. Sherry Ross so I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start living more flexibly today. All things vagina Here we go. Number one, use a mirror and get to know yourself the app use a mirror. This is the first step you need to take. Dr. Sherry says that we should use a mirror to look at our vaginas. Because we need to know what's normal. If you don't know what's normal, then it's hard to know what is abnormal number to advocate for yourself and your vagina to get the confident vagina that we all want. Dr. Sherry causes the confident be in both of her books. Dr. Sherry says that you need to be the advocate of your own vagina the master of your domain. advocating for your female health is your goal with your gynecologist make sure you are getting pap smears colonoscopies, and adding various tests as each decade goes by. It's about lifestyle and foods you're eating too. We are in an age of preventative health. Number three, there are a million golden nuggets on how to keep your vagina in tip top shape, looking feeling and smelling good. I'm going to cover a few of them and you can also go to my website and click on episodes then show notes so you can dive more deeply. Dr. Sherry says that the top three nuggets are moisturizing, exercising and pleasuring the vagina. So first, moisturizing your vagina is key. This helps with all types of different issues. Dr. Sherry says it's very delicate, sensitive skin that you have to maintain. And if you're going to do this lifelong and every day, you're going to really help keep the tissue vital. If you take care of your vulva like you take care of your face, you would really prevent a lot of premature aging and you'd have a lot less dryness and itching and sensitivity around the outside of your vagina. moisturizing is key for women entering menopause and experiencing more dryness. Dr. Sherry says that you can use extra virgin coconut oil that you buy from the store that is non scented. Or you can check out Dr. Sherry's brand. Dr. Sherry has collaborated with a skincare line called urza u r j you can find that in my show notes. She will have a new virgin coconut oil coming out of vulva oil in January. You put a handful of the extra virgin coconut oil in the bath you let it dissolve. You sit in the bath for 20 minutes for at least three times a week. Then she goes on to say that men taking Viagra combined with a non moisturize vagina can lead to some irritation and pulling. Dr. Sherry says you can use over the counter hyaluronic acid suppository, teardrop shape or almond shape three times a week. You can also check out my show notes for her brand that's coming out soon. The second part is exercise in the vagina. Oh my god, I have to exercise my body and my vagina. Dr. Sherry, Dr. Sherry says cable exercises where you squeeze your vagina tight and then release it in sets. You do 50 a day five sets of 10 This helps to support your pelvic floor I just did 10 while I'm talking to you. You can also buy her Cagle weight set that you can access in my show notes and you insert that into your vagina as well. your vagina can get damaged with childbirth and aging so we need to strengthen it. It's kind of taboo to talk about leaking urine when you sneeze, jump or run but we've all had it. Dr. Sherry says women This is normal exercise your vagina and you will get more control over it. The third thing learn

 

1:40:00

To take time and prioritize pleasuring the vagina. Dr. Sherry says that there's also a use it or lose it philosophy. If you're not sexually active for a very long time, or your spouse lives across the country your boyfriend or girlfriend recently divorced recovering from an illness. You should use tools like vibrators to keep the vagina active. Dr. Sherry says it's so much of the female sexual experiences mental. So if you're checked out during sex, and you aren't getting the psychological benefit of sex, unless you're fantasizing about Brad Pitt, she says to use a vibrator to mix it up. They are a nice way to orgasm more easily and efficiently. We all like that. Dr. Sherry makes a vibrator for her company and you can access that also through my show notes. You should have it alongside with penetration she says because penetration sex only gives 25% of women and orgasm. vibrators also bring healthy blood flow to the area and to the uterus. The gold is dripping off these nuggets, grab it use it. The resources like I said are mentioned in the episode show notes. Go to the flexible neurotic calm. If you print out the show notes to each episode and put them in a binder Pamela salzmann style, you would have a flexible neurotic guidebook to recreating yourself in the second half of life. share this episode with a friend and subscribe to the flexible neurotic for more golden nuggets. And please write a five star review. It helps me grow as a podcast.

 

1:41:34

Good peeps, thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed finding our sweet spot today, and digging through layers of shit with your golden shit shovel, Subscribe, Subscribe, subscribe. DM me on Instagram at the flexible neurotic. Tell me which golden nuggets resonated with you. The ones that you're going to start using today to start getting your shit together to find our sweet spots. screenshot it, send it to a friend. This is Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic, inspiring you to gather, curate, incorporate, maybe even meditate.