Zero F**s In Midlife - 12 Minute Minisode

Jennifer Fisher (00:00:00) - Recognize how powerful you are in your own self, but your horse blinders on and don't look out and around at like what is out there? Look into yourself. Stop comparing yourself to other people. Just be yourself.

*Sarah Milken * (00:00:17) - Hey peeps, welcome to the Flexible Neurotic Podcast. I'm your host, doctor Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year, I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wiped the menopause sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel, and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee, and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this.

Speaker 3 (00:00:59) - Hi peeps, it's.

*Sarah Milken * (00:01:00) - Me, Doctor Sarah Milken, and this is the Flexible Neurotic podcast. Today I have a new Golden Nugget Mini Sode of the Flexible Neurotic podcast, where I go back to some of my best episodes and remind us of some of the fabulous and important golden nuggets that we dug up and maybe forgotten.

*Sarah Milken * (00:01:20) - If your midlife brain is like mine, sometimes it goes right in and right out. Yep, you heard me right. I'm going into my midlife library and bringing you golden nuggets from specific guests about health, menopause, skin empty nesting, and all the things that make you say, wait. Me too. In midlife. Okay, so I know you've got ten minutes, so this is going to work out for us today is a golden nugget flashback with Jennifer Fisher. You know her, and if you don't, you should. Jennifer Fisher is a mom, a jewelry designer, a health enthusiast, a chef, a foodie, and has giant followings on her Instagram accounts at Jennifer Fisher Jewelry and at Jennifer Fisher Kitchen. She is also a fellow mid lifer. And today we're talking about one of her midlife secrets, which is not giving a fuck. Zero Fox in midlife. It might sound simple, but most of us know it's really not. And Jen tells us exactly how she got to this point, why it took her so long, and why she couldn't be happier and more satisfied.

*Sarah Milken * (00:02:33) - Yep, I talk about zero fucks a lot. If you've been around and if you've been around, you've seen my mini jar of zero fucks to give. We're talking about putting the peanut gallery on mute, acting outside of the box, and embracing authenticity because you are worth it. No one else defines Jen's life now but her. We talk about how we get into the specifics. This golden nugget is so inspiring and such a good reminder. So let's get into this episode.

Jennifer Fisher (00:03:06) - Do you have a choice? Every day you can be in a bad mood. You can have a shitty day, you could not get anything done, or you can have a great fucking day. You can get a ton of things done, and you can make something new happen for yourself.

*Sarah Milken * (00:03:18) - And shit can go wrong and you're going to be okay.

Jennifer Fisher (00:03:21) - And sometimes when the shit goes wrong, goes wrong for a reason, it's going to point you in a better direction. So even if it's negative, consider it as a positive because it's putting you somewhere else that maybe were meant to be, you.

*Sarah Milken * (00:03:31) - Know, how do you pick up a habit or start something new that it's just so I think we get so much information in the world, you know what I mean? From Instagram and, you know, magazines and whatever, like do this, try that, do this. Like how do you close the gap between knowing what's good for you and actually doing it? I feel like that's the part that's so hard in all of this.

Jennifer Fisher (00:03:55) - But if you if you really enjoy it, you feel like it's doing something for you or you enjoy doing it. I mean, it's just just do it. But I think a.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:01) - Lot of the times it's just the starting. And I think a lot of women in midlife in this journey are like, okay, but I want to do this and I want to do that, but the starting part is so fucking hard.

Jennifer Fisher (00:04:11) - Thank you too much. This is part of the problem. I think too many women spend so much time worrying about what will happen if they change their schedule, or what will happen if they don't do something exactly the same as they've always done it.

Jennifer Fisher (00:04:22) - Or if they do something and they're not going to be good at it. You know, I think that I think especially in our point in our lives, you know, so many women are so caught up in, I think, a how other people see them. Totally so weird. It's so fucking weird. I don't believe in that at all. And then also in, in just sort of feeling that they're, they're not worthy of doing that for themselves.

Speaker 4 (00:04:44) - Right?

Jennifer Fisher (00:04:44) - The self-loathing and the lack of self-worth, I think, is really huge at women of our age in the 50s. And I think that that women need to just you got to get over that, ladies. It's ridiculous.

*Sarah Milken * (00:04:56) - What's your what's your advice for getting over that for. Like just taking that step for telling the peanut gallery. Like a lot of times, we all think that all these people are like sitting around and looking at our Instagram. Or even if you don't have Instagram, like they think that, you know, other people are sitting around talking about them and thinking about them, but it's like, nobody gives.

Jennifer Fisher (00:05:16) - A shit. Don't give yourself so much credit, people.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:20) - I know everybody's so busy with their own lives. If they have time to think about fucking you, then they needed like a part time job.

Jennifer Fisher (00:05:28) - You know, you'll get the negative bullshit and stuff on Instagram, and those people can go fuck themselves and send their couch and their sweats or whatever it is that they're doing. I don't really give a shit, but it's like, you know, honestly, the women just need to just you just need to go. If you if just try it. Stop being so afraid to like, take that first step and try something new for yourself.

*Sarah Milken * (00:05:46) - I want to ask you this. Yes. What is your bottom line advice on midlife and enjoying the journey and not just focusing on the destination?

Jennifer Fisher (00:05:56) - I know exactly what it is to not give a fuck. I've took my time zero Fox. It took a really long time for me to get here. I don't give a fuck anymore. I don't give a fuck.

Jennifer Fisher (00:06:09) - Did you get there.

*Sarah Milken * (00:06:10) - And how long did it take you?

Jennifer Fisher (00:06:12) - It took forever. And I've just recently gotten there. This has been a journey my entire life. I used to care so much and it fucked me up so badly. And it I it I think I'd be so much further in business if I didn't listen to other people. And I didn't think that what other people said was important. And I took bad advice and I thought other people were right, and I didn't just listen to myself like, trust yourself and don't give a fuck what other people say. That's it. And be yourself. That's another thing. I wasn't myself for so long, which is the biggest shame. Young girls, be yourself. Don't worry about it. You're going to get shit for it. Probably, but in the end it's worth it.

*Sarah Milken * (00:06:53) - But how did you get to that point? Like, I know the.

Jennifer Fisher (00:06:56) - Years of pain a lot of years of, but did.

*Sarah Milken * (00:06:59) - You wake up one day and you're like, okay, Zero Fox, or you tortured Kevin long enough listening to your stories and him telling you not to give a fuck.

*Sarah Milken * (00:07:07) - Like what? How did that happen?

Jennifer Fisher (00:07:09) - No, it was just one day. I just sort of was like, I don't really I'm going to be me. And I think it was like around it was around kind of before Covid ish, I was it was leaning into 50, my late 40s, when I finally was like, I'm, why do I fucking care? Like I need to. It's what is working is finally me being myself. What is working is finally just doing what I think is right, not what other people tell me to do or they think is right. And just putting my own like my real self out there and not trying to like, think that I have to be, you know, a certain way to be this type of a, you know, a jewelry designer or whatever. Like I think that's why I went into food so much is where food I really could totally, just authentically be 100% who I am. And it was my own. It's my own thing that I didn't feel judged and I didn't feel that people were were micro like nitpicking at me because so many people actually needed help with it.

Jennifer Fisher (00:08:08) - And that gave me the freedom to then with my business, kind of just be like, I'm going to do the same thing here. It's working here. Why am I not doing that here? And with my life and with who I am? Just be yourself and don't give a shit.

*Sarah Milken * (00:08:24) - I know it's such an important, such an important like mantra to repeat to yourself and remind yourself. And to our kids. It's like one of the things of this podcast is I'm like, do you? Whatever that is, just do fucking you. Because doing me in for you is not doing you like, right? And I don't want to do you. So you it's just, it seems so basic, but it's so true.

Jennifer Fisher (00:08:49) - It's so hard. And I think it takes a level of maturity to get there. And those who get there younger are so lucky because they have the time. The one thing that we don't have now is the time. And so if you can recognize that earlier in life and how much further you will go in life, if you recognize how powerful you are in your own self, not looking like put put, you know, take your horse, put your horse blinders on and don't look out and around at like what is out there? Look into yourself.

Jennifer Fisher (00:09:18) - Stop comparing yourself to other people. Just be yourself.

*Sarah Milken * (00:09:22) - Hey peeps, it's me again. Okay, before I wrap up on Jen Fisher, I just want to say, if you haven't written a review for The Flexible Neurotic, I would fucking so appreciate it and so love it. I know it's really an annoying task, I get it, no one wants extra shit to do, but when you write an Apple review, it helps my podcast grow. So if you like me, if you like the podcast, literally take two minutes, do it and just help a girl out. Okay, so the conversation with Jen was fucking rad and inspiring. It was actually two episodes, the original one, and I just gave you a hot ten minutes. I just love Jen and her fuck yes energy for life. She's Jennifer fucking Fisher, I love her, she's a multi-hyphenate mom, entrepreneur, jewelry designer, chef, midlife boss, and she does not let anyone tell her what she can do and can't do and suggest that we do the same.

*Sarah Milken * (00:10:23) - Jennifer Fisher is giving full zero fucks energy. She said that she has spent too many years caring about what other people think about her, and that if she hadn't, she probably would have been further along in her business faster if she had listened to her own self. She said, whenever you do, you and you don't compare yourself to other people. Shit just happens. Put your horse blinders on, she says. Look into yourself and be yourself. If someone has something to say, then who gives a fuck? If you take one thing from this conversation, it's the power of authenticity, being who you are and embracing all the amazing gifts that life will bring you when you honor yourself, your talents, your goals, everything. Midlife ers. Don't worry about digging through your old notes. From all the amazing information that we got today. You can go to my website, dot the flexible, neurotic.com and search Jennifer Fisher. And there is a full set of show notes and you can even listen to the two part full length episodes.

*Sarah Milken * (00:11:29) - Okay, so stay tuned for more Golden Nugget Mini Sode episodes because we're going to get into it. Midlife parenting, teens, college becoming, or maybe already an empty nester or careering or not careering hobbies and so many other things. Like I said, write a fucking review, subscribe to the podcast and for this episode, to some of your midlife friends who might like midlife shed DM me. You know, I always respond, I'm the only one on my Instagram. And of course, follow me at the flexible, neurotic.com. Actually, it's not even.com at the flexible neurotic that's called midlife brain. Duh. Love you talk soon.