How to Breakup with Friends in Midlife
Erin Falconer 0:00
I think you raise a good point, and this is how I actually got the idea for this book. Is that I'm sitting waiting for a friend who, outwardly I would call one of my absolute best friends, long standing relationship. She is famously and chronically late, and I was sitting waiting for her yet again, and I was getting really irritated, like with every passing minute, or, you know, couple minutes I was looking at my watch, I was really verging on angry. And so I started to look at that, and I was like, This feels like an outsized reaction to somebody being late. And so it was the first time I sort of said, Why am I so irritated about this?
Sarah Milken 0:50
Hey peeps, welcome to the flexible, neurotic podcast. I'm your host. Dr. Sarah Milken, Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD Doctor Long, long ago, like last fucking year, I was sitting in the midlife funk wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD, wiped the menopause sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches, it's not just luck, coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix, it's action steps. Let's do this today. I have a hand picked guest, as usual, people I love that I know you will love too. This guest is a psychotherapist, author, Angeleno, as of today, no, she didn't just move here, but she's a local Angeleno. We've had lunch together. I've had her on my podcast before. You are going to love her, and I'm going to read you the title of her book, because I don't have it memorized. Okay? It's called How to break up with friends finding meaning, connection and boundaries in modern friendships. Boom. Aaron Faulkner, hi, so nice to go back to see you again. You too. My God, last time it was on Zoom, I know it feels like a lifetime, I know, doesn't it? I'm like, what's happening in the midlife friendship area? Huh?
Erin Falconer 2:20
Yes. Well, a lot and not enough, as usual,
Sarah Milken 2:24
yes, yeah. So tell me. Why friendship? I mean, obviously the title of your book, you wrote in your book, you're like, people are going to be kind of like, embarrassed that they're picking up a book that's like, says how to break up with a friend. I mean, it's kind of like our little secret, right? Yeah. Why is that? Why is it such a
Erin Falconer 2:43
big deal? Well, you know, I think, and this is one of the the ideas behind writing the book in the first place. You know, it's just a category of of relationship that we don't have a language around, and we don't have kind of a blueprint for what these relationships should look like, at least when we compare them to, let's say, how audited romantic relationships are, or family relationships. And I started to get really curious about this as a therapist, thinking about, why do we leave so much on the table with this category of relationship? When we look at just traditional therapy, there is individual therapy, family therapy, couples therapy, but nothing exists for this category of friendship, right? And so while I'm not advocating necessarily for friend couples to run out and get a therapist, what it did kind of mean to me is that there is no collectively agreed language on how to get into new friendships, how to get out of existing friendships, just to, just to advocate for yourself or for a better, higher quality relationship in this category. So, yeah, that was the original Genesis of of the book, creating a language around, you know, diving deeper into what boundaries would look like in these relationships, how expectations can be augmented in these relationships, and how you can just get clear on, are these the right relationships for me? Now, maybe they were 10 years ago, but have I checked in at all to see, is this relationship still serving me? Am I serving it? And we just don't do that in this category of friendship.
Sarah Milken 4:23
And I love it as it relates to the midlife period, you're not as old as I am, but hopefully soon you'll approach it. But I think that midlife is a time where we're reevaluating so many things about ourselves and like, what is the second half of life going to look like? What are we going to be doing? Like, are we staying married? Are we getting divorced, empty nest? Like, all these different reevaluations. And sometimes you like, look at your friends, and you think, I love all of them. They're all serving a purpose. Us in some capacity, and then sometimes you're like, that person makes me feel really drained. Every time I'm with them, I feel like shit. And I think, I mean, obviously your whole book is not about breaking up with friends, but it's great. I know it's only one chapter, but I think what's to me, what's important about it, is when you're talking about taking the time to audit your friendship, yes, and it's not like you're putting someone like on the witness stand, or you're like, ridiculing or whatever. No, but I like how you talk about the friendship audit, and you talk about sort of making a list. Tell me kind of what that looks like. So listeners know,
Erin Falconer 5:44
yeah, so, I mean, I think you raise a good point, and this is how I actually got the idea for this book, is that I was sitting with a friend who would outwardly I'm sitting waiting for a friend who outwardly, I would call one of my absolute best friends, long standing relationship. She is famously and chronically late, and I was sitting waiting for her yet again, and I was getting really irritated, like with every passing minute or a couple minutes, I was looking at my watch. I was really verging on angry. And so I started to look at that, and I was like, This feels like an outsized reaction to somebody being late. And so it was the first time I sort of said, Why am I so irritated about this? And when I went back and I started auditing the friendship, what I found really startled me. It's that. And that was that. Again, outwardly, I would have said, Oh, this is one of my best friends set it up. But when I looked at the landscape of this relationship, I was like, I don't feel like I've been really happy in this for years. And what happened? How did this happen? And can we get back to being best friends. And so comes to find out that there wasn't just about being late, there were other things that were going on that were left unsaid. And then this kind of has a snowball effect, right? So after I had this epiphany, I said, Well, if this is this is wild, because if this is the way I'm feeling about this. How am I feeling about the other people in my life, in the other friends in my life? And so I just started very simply, and I wrote down everybody who I considered, you know, either a really good friend or a very consistent friend, in the sense that I'm not calling them at three in the morning with a crisis, but like I'm seeing them frequently, and I like them, and just writing their name down, pay attention to your initial just seeing their name in black and white, there's a lot of information just in that. It's kind of like if your phone rings and you see a name on a call display, do you go, Oh my God, and dive to answer the call? Or are you, like, Ah, right? And so doing this in a very intentional way, and writing down the names, and just watch what? That's probably
Sarah Milken 8:08
what my kids think about me. I know they do. They're like, Oh, she's going again,
Erin Falconer 8:14
yeah, but you are probably their first call
Sarah Milken 8:17
when they may be in an emergency or any money. But, yeah.
Erin Falconer 8:23
So, yeah, just taking stock of, actually, who is in your life, I think, is also, you know, we don't have, like, any kind of way to keep track of all of the people in our life, right? So writing them down, taking that like, noting that original litmus test of, how do I feel just seeing this person's name in front of black, in black in black and white in front of me. And then, once you do that, start to, you know, say, like, what is the purpose of this relationship, and what am I bringing to this relationship, and what is it bringing to me? It's just about getting information and sitting with yourself and being honest about, you know, and it's a hard thing to do because it feels like judgy or
Sarah Milken 9:06
hard, like it's high school ish, like, who's not list? Yeah, exactly
Erin Falconer 9:11
truth. But the truth is, we probably haven't done that since, yeah, exactly right, and it's a different intention, but it's like, you know, if you have, if you have, and this is might sound callous because I'm equating friends to clothes, but I do think there is an appropriate metaphor there, if you just start collecting things, and there's no attrition, and there's no kind of awareness about, is this even my body type anymore for sweater? Is this who I am from a style perspective anymore, if you did, if you never did that, you're you'd have stuff coming out, you know, it would be completely dysfunctional, and not, you know, every time you got dressed would be a nightmare. So it's, it is in the same principle, just in the fact that it's an awareness. Who is in. Your roster, who are you going to who? And of course, the starting point is, of all of this is understanding who you are as a person now, not who you think you are. You have to take the time. And I always say you need to be able to answer four questions, who am I? Where am I? How did I get here, and where do I want to go? And so until you have those, the answers to those questions, and not in a like, Oh, this is but like, you've spent some time really saying, like, who am I now? How do I want to show up in the world? Only then can you look at the people in your life and say, Okay, this feels like still a match. Still works. This feels like maybe not working as well. But I really, really love this person, and I want to see if I can bring more to it, or she can bring more to it. And then there are the people that you go, wow, I really appreciated this person. We had a great relationship. Historically, we're just in very different places now, and it's no longer working. And then there are the people that are like, this is just low key toxic. And hopefully we don't have a lot of those people in our lives, but certainly they're the people that are taking way more than they're giving, and so it's great to shine a light on that as
Sarah Milken 11:09
well. Now, the friend that was late to lunch, did you ever confront her? Well, yeah,
Erin Falconer 11:13
and I did, and I and I talked about this a little bit in the book, much later in the book, so I ended up inviting her to another lunch. And it was so unbelievable. I had this whole thing planned out that I was going to say, and she was late again. And of course, and I watched myself, though this time almost like from above. And it was unbelievable how I started to talk myself out of having this conversation. It was wild. I was like, you know, she's a single mom. She's, it's a really, she's really, you know, strapped for time and data. And so I started making excuses. And I was like, Stop, this is how you got here in the first place, because you didn't say what was bothering you. You didn't demand more from the relationship. And so I was so nervous when she sat down, I almost didn't say anything, and then I did, and it was, like, kind of awkward. And then she got quite defensive. And then we settled into it a little. And then we had this, started to have this great conversation, which, by the way, she told me there were, like, a couple of things that I've been doing that are really irritating, or she found rude, and so, which was shocking to me, because that also was not in my all have our own stories. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna go tell her something with, no, like, a curiosity, that there also could have been something that I was, you know, that I was contributing to, which so that was a great lesson for me. And then, yeah, it was actually a little awkward. We left that lunch, and I was like, I don't know, like, what, how this is gonna go. And then, like, a week later, she texted me, and she's like, you know, I've been thinking a lot about what you said. And then so we came back together and everything was happy ending, but I did feel for a second or a cup, you know, like I feel like maybe I was this was too extra. Maybe I could have just made this, you know, swept this under the rug. But now our relationship is so much better, and it's almost like in that, I guess conflict or confrontation coming out of it, we re chose the relationship, right? And I think coming back to your original question, 17 minutes, yeah, about midlife, this is, I feel like a time that we, we really have not had for probably a, you know, depends where you're at, yeah, you know, in this time, but like, at least a decade, where we're once again, just actively choosing who we want to be in our lives. So much of when you are starting a new well, if you're in college, you're you find people who are helping you through that transition. When you're in your starting career, you're really making, you know, friends in that world that are very much in your universe, that are aligned with where you're trying to go. Then you get into, you know, if you're doing a traditional path, marriage and children, and we all know how you know, all encompassing that is. But once children start to lead you need you less or are out of the house, you know, empty nesters. It really does feel like, okay, I don't need to, like, be friends with soccer moms, or that doesn't need to be my whole world. I can just say, Who am I now? And like, Who do I want to hang out with? Who do I want to spend my time with? Because presumably, you do have a little bit more free time of your own, free of, you know, children, obligations and stuff like that. So I think it's so important to not dial it in, to really take this opportunity to say what would be interesting to me right now, what? What do I want to see brought out in myself, you know, so what? What it what do those. Friendships. What friendships do I need to put in play to bring those things out in me? So again, a lot of it starts with yourself, though
Sarah Milken 15:08
I agree, and I also think especially at this time, like you said, it's like your kids, friends, moms aren't necessarily your best friends anymore or whatever, and everyone's situation starting to change a little bit. And I think the key part of what you said is the intentionality. It's like you're kind of not just getting stuck with what's given to you. It's like a time in life where you're getting to curate how you want your day to look to a certain extent. I mean, we all have responsibilities and all of that, but in your like extra time, who do I don't have to be with that soccer mom or the carpool moms like I get to be with whoever I want to be with. And I also think it kind of goes back to what we talked about the first time you're on the podcast is, I think it's important to think about friends for different things, because I always grew up with fewer friends, but there were closer friends, whereas my brother was the kind of person who had, like, a million friends, right? And I never understood it. I was kind of like, well, why can't that one friend just be everything, right? Well, you know, and as I've gotten older, I've become more flexible in my like, friendship categories. It's like that friend is never going to be the friend who shows up for me at the airport at three o'clock in the morning, and I can't have that expectation of her.
Erin Falconer 16:36
That's right. It's the That's right. I i think it's such an important point, and I think it's why it's also very important to understand that not nobody can be your everything, only you can be your everything, right? Your spouse, well, and especially your spouse. And that's that's what I talk about a lot these days. I feel like husbands and wives, or people that are married, wives and wives are so enmeshed, almost, you know, I know every single person my husband is working with. We're doing workout classes together. We are so like one, one version might be aligned. Another version is is enmeshed, like we know every we're on so many calendars, shared calendars together about school stuff and you for for our son and stuff like that, that that person, there is this unspoken pressure on the other to be everything. And this is why having strong friendships is so important, so that you can offset some of that, so that you can say, this is the relationship I go to for this, this is the relationship I go to for this. And you're not showing up in your romantic partnership, needing or or expecting all of that to come from it, right? It takes the pressure off of everything. So if you're looking at also just your friends expecting everybody is, you know, those, those critical people in your life to fulfill all of the same tasks and be there in all of the same way for you, it's unreasonable, and it's only setting you up for being disappointed and expecting more. And when expectations are misaligned, that's when things start to come off the rails, right? So again, there's just this awareness piece of like, what does this relationship bring for me? Is this the person that I can call at 3am Is this the person that I just go out and have a really good time with? Is this the person that is a mentor more in my life, like, if I have something going on, I feel like I can go talk to this person and they'll give great advice or whatever, and then you have to understand, and then what is my role also in in all of these different relationships, those expectations need to be clear, going both ways. So again, the more you can be clear on on the value proposition of each relationship, the more you're going to get out of it, and the more you can give
Sarah Milken 19:05
to it. I also think that there's an interesting thing with with like Instagram friends versus real friends. It's kind of like a whole other piece of this thing, where it's like, is an Instagram friend, a real friend. Like, where does, where do those lines kind of blur if you just talk to someone online, like, is that a real friend? It's, it's kind of interesting. And what you and I growing up like, we didn't have that it was very clear, like, you knew who your friends were, and most of the time you weren't, like writing postcards. And, right? You know what I mean, right? But with texting and DM, it's like everything feels so different now and then you're like, Oh, well, that friend I usually get a text from every day, but I haven't heard from her for two or three days. Is she mad? It's interesting.
Erin Falconer 19:56
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, yeah, I think in terms of the. Be, you know, social media friends? Are you friends? I would as I define friendship. I would say, No. I would say, you have a relationship, one that might be built on mutual respect or shared interest or but I do think the ability to engage with people consistently, and some part of that be in real life, or, I guess, you know, we all have friends who have moved away, and we can't see them, you know, with with any sort of frequency, but the ability to connect, if you're, you know, even if you're FaceTiming and seeing the, you know, spending time, quality time with them in some way. In other words, that just the trading of messages and stuff, it's tough to keep up the level of engagement that I think that one needs to really say that this is like a foundational friend in your world, yeah?
Sarah Milken 20:53
And you talk about, in your book, that a friendship needs 200 hours, yeah, yeah, to be a real, kind of meaningful relationship, 200 hours, a lot of fucking hours. Yeah, you know, that's a lot of people you don't have to get no but I think it's interesting to also think about like in midlife, when you're having, potentially having more time, and you're picking up hobbies like my husband has, like, all these new friends from golf and this and that, and my friends who play pickleball have their pickleball friends, you know? So it's kind of interesting to see how definitions of friendships change, or you can have different roles, like, that's the person. Like, I only see a pickleball, but I would never like tell her my deepest, darkest secrets, right? But my best friend I may never play pickleball with. You know what I mean? It's, it's kind of, right? It sounds basic, but it's true.
Erin Falconer 21:49
No, it is true. And I think again, just, it's, it's just an awareness. It's just like, taking the time be like, oh yeah, this is what this is. And this really works for me. This is what this is. Hmm, is this working for me? I don't think I'm getting enough out of this, or I'm finding myself constantly irritated in this situation. Why am I irritated? Okay, maybe it's a question of the expectations not being met. Maybe one, the other person is like, I'm fine with this frequency, and you're like, This isn't enough for me, or I need more from this. So again, just paying attention in a way that I just don't think we do with this category of relationship. I mean, if you talk about it's funny, just before we started recording an interview that I did before with Maria Menounos was referenced, and I remember being on her show, and she said to me, okay, Aaron, I have, I have this one friend that the last seven times that I've texted her, she pulled out her phone and said, What? Look at this. The last seven times we've made plans, concrete plans, date, time, place, she's canceled either the night before or right in the morning. She goes, Listen, look, look, look. She pulls out her phone, she goes, I don't know what to do with this friendship. And I said, Maria, I've got news for you. I don't think you're in a friendship with this person. I think you're in some kind of relationship with this person, but the ability that this person is unable to commit to you in any way, shape or form, to me, just disqualifies them from a friendship. And I said, let me put this another way. If you were, let's say, dating this person, and they had and she was like, oh, they'd be dead after the second time. I was like, there's a different set of rules we just don't even have. And it's not that, like, if you put it that way, you go, yeah, that's right, that behavior is unacceptable. And of course, we're not expecting the same thing from a romantic partner as a friend. However we do, we should expect a level of commitment that we just are not talking about in the same way. So I think, I think we need to start thinking and holding the relationships accountable in the same way that we are for these other types of relationships. Otherwise, what are we even doing here? So again, your pick the pickleball expectation friend. It the expectation of your pickleball friend not going to be the same as the you know, one of your long term rider dies. However, it is good to say, well, what is the expectation? I go to pickleball. We have a great time, where we laugh, we have fun. That's it. But if there's somebody on the team that's constantly saying we should go to coffee, and then you're not reciprocating, that could become a
Sarah Milken 24:21
problem, right? I have a very close friend who I call my flaky friend. She knows that, and she calls herself that now, because I call her that, and I actually, like, had to say something. I was like, I fucking love you, but, like, I kind of plan my whole day around, like our lunch or our walk or whatever, and you cancel on me, like, five minutes before, and, like, I don't know, let's say by like, the 12th time, or whatever, I was like, dude, and I said something, you know, like, normally I try, I mean, in my older self, I try not to be confrontational. I try to, like, let things slide and be whatever. Yeah, but I just like, at certain point, I was like, dude, like, how is it received? You know what? She was good about it. She was just like, I I've known that about myself for a long time. And like, I appreciate your telling me, and I also appreciate your, like, flexibility. And now she'll say, I hate to cancel on you. I'm so sorry. You know? Well, there's an awareness, yeah, there's an awareness to it. And I think she, you know, she tries. She's trying much harder than before, right? You know. But I think certain people have certain tendencies, and people come as they are, you know. And I felt like, as long as she was like, trying, like your friend, as long as she's, like, maybe trying not to be 30 minutes late, it's five minutes late, whatever, then, like, we're moving in the right direction, yeah, but I don't know it's, I think the, I think social media has also changed confrontation, oh, right, because of, like, ghosting. You can't ghost. It's hard to ghost. I mean, I guess you can ghost early, like before social media with phones, but Right? I don't know. I think with the the access, the easy access, and the ability to message someone at any second of the day, yeah, and someone's not responding to you, you're like, what's happening here?
Erin Falconer 26:21
Yeah, yeah. It has created a whole new system, yeah. And my husband's
Sarah Milken 26:25
like, Sarah, you don't have to respond to someone in 13 fucking seconds. I know. And I'm like, I know, but I feel like I need to, or she's gonna think I'm mad. And he's like, you're fucking
Erin Falconer 26:33
crazy funny, because it's the opposite my husband, he gets a text and he needs to, oh no, respond immediately. And I was like, You were literally talking, and you're like, oh, and he's like, Yeah, but I just got this text. I'm like, but we're talking right now.
Sarah Milken 26:51
To do it makes no sense to me. I like, this is, and it's because you want to, like, almost get it off your plate. Yeah, yeah. And like, you want, like, it like, that's like an eggs that's like, an anxious, like, anxiety. They want to, like, check your boxes. And my husband's like, I don't need to respond to shit for at least 24 hours. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I wish I was you, yeah. Like, no anxiety. Like, bloody Yeah. But also, think men are better compartmentalize.
Erin Falconer 27:15
I talk. I've talked about this in both books. I think it is something that we could absolutely learn from and should? I don't think it has to be necessarily that extreme, but the idea that, like, we can do something and then set it aside and then come back to it, yeah, without the the spinning in between, I can't tell you how many like emails I you know, when I had my startup company, like, I'd send emails and then for the next hour be like, should I have said it like that? I wonder what they're going to what they're going to respond and like, this is one of 30 emails that I've sent right last hour, and it's just, like, I just sent it. Why don't you just wait until they respond and then you will deal with it, you know? And that's that's just honestly building a different neural pathway. That's like, just building a muscle base. You got to train yourself to do that. It's so hard, yeah? Like, I think it's a worthy my son's
Sarah Milken 28:04
like, will say to me about my daughter. He's like, why is she, like, mental about that? Like, there's no, there's no backstory on that one. Like, this is just crazy, yeah? But that's another interesting point that you made the book. Is, like, a lot of times we'll be like, Oh my God, she's not texting me back. She's not calling me back. Did I do something wrong? Did she think I said something about her
Erin Falconer 28:25
just creating narratives that are based in total fiction? Oh, I have so many clients come in and tell me, oh. And then this happened, and then I was, hold on, what? What actually happened? And then what it and it's like the things that actually happen are about 3% of the story. And then there's all of this other creation, these narratives that will I know, but I think I know that happened because, and it's like, you know nothing. There's such a direct path to getting the answer to this, why don't you just ask? Why don't you just say, I haven't heard from you everything cool, or this, this obsession with making it make sense is not helpful. We don't get the answers. And if anything, it creates problems, not solves them, right? 1,000% so we need to again, train ourselves when you start to feel yourself trying to connect dots. You know, in your mind, you need to say, What am I doing? Stop. What are the facts? These are the facts. Okay, I can either wait for a response, or if I'm really being anxious about it, I can ask everything. Cool. You know what I mean? Don't we don't need to. And the worst thing is, we don't have an answer. We're creating narratives, and then instead of asking directly, we're flagging other friends. Have you heard from so and so?
Sarah Milken 29:47
Because I haven't heard from her, the side text from the group, right?
Erin Falconer 29:51
And was that a weird tone? Because Why don't you ask the person directly? Because now, on top of your own narrative, you've got other people's you.
Sarah Milken 30:00
Fake, and then you're gonna send the text, and then you'll be like, should I put an emoji? Does the emoji when he gets better? Or do? If I do, if I put LOL, like, are you mad? Lol, yeah. Does that make it, like, less psychotic?
Erin Falconer 30:12
It's, it's crazy. We I mean, the ability to just shoot straight is something that, I think again, within female friendships, we are missing, and I talked about this in the book too. Even my relationship, my friendships with guys completely different, my ability of somebody with one of them irritates me or drops the ball, like, let's say they were late or said something insensitive, or whatever, I turn around and go, You know what? That wasn't cool. What are you doing? Like, I can't, you know that I've don't have a lot of time. They're like, oh, sorry, yeah, sorry about that. Won't do it again. And it's done. There's no it's
Sarah Milken 30:50
the girl. Girl, dynamic, baby. Yeah. Like, high school never ends. And you're like, oh my god,
Erin Falconer 30:55
yeah. And it's just like, stop creating stories in your head or trying to connect the dots. Stop involving other people for their thoughts and feelings on this relationship you're having, totally ineffective and also filled with so much projection in their own opinions and their own experiences, totally unhelpful for what's going on. And just be direct. It's just it. Just it feels tense and anxiety provoking when you start doing it. But it the long term play here is so well worth it, because the idea is that you stop the next time you have a problem, you just say, as opposed to, like, thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and then saying it. The goal is to just be like, hey, that wasn't cool. Like, and then they go, Oh, I'm sorry,
Sarah Milken 31:38
you know, so that's how you redraw boundaries or break up with a friend, right? Like, that's gonna be your that's gonna be your starting point. Can this be redrawn, or is this kind of an over, like, an over friendship? And I think, to wrap up, I think one of the other points in your book is sometimes you can, like, take stock on your lives, take stock on your friends and be like, You know what? That's a legacy friendship. That's like someone I've known since I was four. She might not be growing with me. She might not know the kind of new version of me that how I want to be seen right now, but she's a legacy friend, yeah, but she doesn't drain me. She just may not fully understand absolutely the evolution that I'm at right now, and that's okay, and that's
Erin Falconer 32:24
okay, as long as it's not causing friction or irritation, then that's totally fine. I think there's absolute room for in the book. I call them nostalgic friends. Those are people who know you profoundly, who know where you came from, who know how you came up at whatever, whether it's from young childhood or maybe it's high school or your college beauty, if you've got a friend from college for 20 years, they've seen some shit with you, yeah, you know what I mean. And even if you're not, you know in the same place right now, again, as long as it's not causing friction, and there's the the expectation is mutual of what what it is. They can provide such great reminders of who you are. They can take you back to really warm places when with your hanging with them and reminiscing, which are amazing and really provide value.
Sarah Milken 33:16
Well, I loved having you today. I love kind of wrapping the making friends, breaking up with friends. Why friendship audits at midlife are important, and I can't wait to have you back again. Oh, thank you so much. I loved getting into with you. Thank you. Aaron Faulkner, where can we find you?
Erin Falconer 33:35
You can get the books on Amazon, Barnes and Noble. I think all indie booksellers and on Instagram, I'm at Aaron Faulkner,
Sarah Milken 33:44
thank you so much.
Sarah Milken 33:52
Wait, wait, don't hang up. There are three things you can do. First, subscribe to the podcast. Second, share it with some friends who like midlife shit, and third, write an apple review. I know writing reviews is so annoying and it's an extra step, but guess what? It really helps the podcast grow. You think your little review will matter, but it does. If you went to a show and everyone said, My clap doesn't matter, then there will be no clapping. You all matter. DM me. You know, I always respond, and you guys, now you can go and watch this episode on YouTube, and, of course, follow my instagram at the flexible, neurotic, duh. Love you talk soon.
Sarah Milken 34:36
Wait, wait, don't hang up. There are three things you can do. First, subscribe to the podcast. Second, share it with some friends who like midlife shit. And third, write an apple review. I know writing reviews is so annoying and it's an extra step, but guess what? It really helps the podcast grow. You think your little review will matter, but it does. If you went to a show and everyone said, My clap doesn't matter, then there will be an. Clapping. You all matter. DM me. You know, I always respond. And you guys, now you can go and watch this episode on YouTube, and, of course, follow my instagram at the flexible, neurotic. Duh. Love you talk soon.