Still Got It At 47:

Fun Midlife Sh*t Quickie Minisode

Hey peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife pump wondering, was this it for me? That day I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just love coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hi, Paige. This is Dr. Sarah Milken, and this is the flexible neurotic podcast. I have two types of podcast episodes, the longer more in depth ones with deep dives with expert guests. And then another version that is a version called the fun midlife shed quickie minisode series. This episode format is shorter, more stream of consciousness and just outright I don't know crazy. And this minisode series I'll highlight resonating and edgy midlife shit from my Instagram grid, solo cast short pop and gas on stuff we're all thinking about but maybe too embarrassed to ask and of course, all fucking asked for you all ask anything at this point. As my teenagers say I'm the queen of TMI. There will also be random stream of consciousness rants with loads of sarcasm, relatable humor mixed with expert info. For example, I just peed I hadn't paid in what seemed like hours and the toilet is running in the background. So I'm sorry for your fucking hearing that this minisode is called still got it at 47. So what seems like a million years ago in this short Instagram run that I've been on for the last 19 months or so. I posted a photo of me on Instagram and my ass in guest jeans. Let's be honest, I haven't worn guest jeans in quite a few decades. I've been on to Levi's a goal the mother, even Alice and Olivia. I mean run the whole gamut but not gas for a while. I titled the post still got it at 46. But now I'm 47 I'm going to explain all why I'm wearing tight gas jeans with my ass in the camera. Yes, I took those fucking photos myself in the guest store in Beverly Hills on my way home from running an Aeron. And I will tell you about that. Okay, so we're going to find out why this minisode is called that why the Instagram post is called that so? But now I'm 47 so it's still got it at 47 What does that mean? Does it mean your ass is high up and you don't have cellulite and wrinkles and melasma anymore? Is that what still got it means Nope. In my mind still got it means whatever is authentically you. The signature pieces of you. You might have lost them along the way of life kids career spouses, or the fucking gardener who's trimming the hedges outside my window right now. That's cool, or even world events and pandemics. For me. I think about my signature pieces. Like when people think of Sarah, like what are they think of Okay, so I'm known to be a pretty confident person. I'm known to be a pretty sarcastic person. I'm known to be a pretty loyal fucking person and friend, like once you're part of my inner circle, you're part of my inner circle. I'll pick you up at three o'clock in the morning if I have to, I will ride or die for you. Okay, I'm also a pretty private person. But I know it doesn't seem like that because you hear all my TMI on Instagram and TMI on this podcast, but that's really only recent, I really only opened up into sort of my private saris fear when I started this podcast and I think in one of the past episodes I talk about that. I think the reason for that was at first I was like kind of scared like I don't want to be that Instagram person that's like oversharing and this that and the other but then I realized that every time I did share some personal and private information about myself

people felt closer to me they felt like oh wait, fuck this girl is like relatable like this makes sense. I can feel what she's feeling and I'm having a lot of those same feelings to Okay, I have a pretty much a big mouth. But I do have some onpoint filters. I mean, my teenagers and probably husband would disagree with that. You I not see the filter because this podcast lately has been a little bit TMI, but whatever. But I guess what I'm saying is Sarah is Sarah, who she is what she stands for her energy in the world. I've been pretty much the same my whole life, although I will say my elementary school teachers had us like a special private meeting with my parents saying that I didn't talk that much in class in first grade. And that maybe I need some some kind of like remediation or intervention. That's kind of funny, because my parents were like, are you joking? She never shuts the fuck up. I don't know. I guess there was something about that first grade teacher that like made me quiet. I don't know.

But it was interesting. Someone asked me the other day. If I had changed at all since I've been with my husband for 27 years. We've been married for almost 18. And but together for 27. And most of you know, we met in ninth grade. I will say when I answered that question, I basically I'm like, Okay, let me think about this. Well, I've changed hair cuts. My hair was way too short in college. I don't know why that haircut just kept getting shorter and shorter or whatever. Maybe it's because I was getting haircuts like in Pennsylvania near the school, I don't know. My hair color changed a million times I was like a brunette I was a brunette slash maroon redhead. I was a very blonde I was a highlighted dirty blonde, whatever. My body weight clearly changed a million times with two pregnancies that were not like the best looks for me. But the real Sarah like Coursera, like, who am I is a person, that's not really changed. She then asked, but someone said you might have been like less uptight now than you used to be. And I thought about it for a second. And I was like, Wait, is that a judgement? Is that a compliment? Or is that just an observation that she might have heard from someone else? My response was that Sara, and who and what Sarah is has never changed. What has changed, has me becoming a mother, I could no longer be focused on myself and my husband, having kids puts you in the second position, not in a bad way. But in a different way. You go to bed at night, you're not worried about yourself. Most of the time you worrying about your kids issues at the time, this kid was mean to that your kid and blah, blah, blah, and this mom doesn't care. And should you call that mom? And this teacher is making math just too hard or blah, blah, blah? Are my kids or are they doing too many activities? Are they doing too few activities? Look, I clearly don't speak for all women. I can only speak for myself. I did not change when I got married, my husband will fucking tell you that I was going to be Sara, no matter what my husband knew and loved who he was marrying. Or at least he pretended really well. He was like, okay, she's smart. She's not very domestic with an upbringing of two parents who worked Yes. I wasn't going to become a chef or anything of the sort and he never expected that thankfully, I would have fucking failed on every account. So going back to still got it and what does that mean? So we get married or we don't get married or we get married and divorced or we lose a spouse we age we get older. And all of this we might have kids and build a family our needs roles, activities and priorities change. We can no longer go to that yoga class at the time we love with the teacher that just makes us so on fire. Or meet that friend for coffee the exact second she wants to go we have jobs or babies who need naps or baths or whatever. Or you gotta go to fucking target but who you are as a person doesn't truly change at least for me. Your body mind and heart that Sarah energy the Sarah vibe, the Sarah style, the Sarah opinions, the signature Sara things are still in me. Even if they're not apparent all the time, or if they've been dormant for a few years or a few fucking decades. Look, peeps. Midlife is the time to get out your golden shovel. If you're new here the golden shit shovel is a real and metaphorical symbol for the midlife freemax The golden shit shovel is an instrument that we can use to help through the layers and layers of midlife shit to get to where we want to be who we want to be. And what we want to be doing. We can't give up in midlife. We We have to believe that we've still got it. God it is who you are as a person. I know that I must share, I'm more sweaty, I'm more muffin top fish than I have been at younger years. But we need to believe that we still got it. There will always be someone with more or less of what we are wanting. But at what point can we be enough as we are just for ourselves? Yes, you could be thinner, you could be more toned, you could be more well read. There's always so many other things that we could be. And especially with social media, we're seeing like, this person's running a huge company. And this woman is a bikini model. And this woman has nine kids and can make a 17 course meal. That shit is endless and never ads and you will never ever, ever feel satisfied or win that fucking race. Because the racism with other people, it's against yourself. And it's not even a race against yourself. It's just finding your place in the journey where you can enjoy the process, like midlife is hard enough. Like we're like sweaty, my lake hair is starting to thin. My scalp is showing more than it used to. I have fucking melasma I'm like become a master concealer. I mean, so many things. But at the base of who we are, we have certain elements that are signature to us. We just got to find a way to get back to that, like, what were you or who were you before you were a spouse before you were a mom? Like, I don't know, were you a fucking cheerleader in high school and you love like learning dance routines. Like that was my worst nightmare because I cannot dance or sing or clap. And I have no rhythm at all. But like maybe that's something that you're good at. So you can go and take a hip hop yoga class, like, that's not my skill set. I mean, I need to do like very basic things that don't require mental gymnastics involved with exercise. But anyway, the point is, you got to figure out what you're still got it is even if it's like under 50 layers of societal expectations, parental expectations, spousal expectations, expectations from your kids. It's deep down under there. It could be like under 20 extra pounds of body weight that you didn't have before. I mean, honestly, you guys right before the college trip I tried on like a bunch of like jeans. I was like, Oh, I'm gonna take these like four pairs of jeans on the trip. I literally couldn't fucking button them. And I'm like, wait a second. What's happening here? I don't feel like I'm eating more than I typically do. And like now my jeans don't even button like what all these weird things are happening. We have to give ourselves some slack but the point is we have to find this still got it items. I want you to like walk away from this mini episode today and think about like, what are my still got it signature items? Like? Do I like to get dressed up? Do I like to play sports? Do I like to hike with ankle weights on? Do I like to hang out with friends? Do I like to be a more quiet person? Do I like to start my you know, week doing like a beach walk? Like what were those signature things that made Sarah Sarah or you you like what are those? Okay, so let me go back to the guest Jean thing. Okay. So on my way home from running on Aaron, I saw the guest store. You're like why do you fucking care about the guest door? Well, I'm going to tell you, I felt compelled to park and go in. You know why? My first real job when I was in high school was at the guest store. It was in the local mall in the summer after 10th grade. So I was driving. So being in that store brought back old memories. I just had to go in there. I hadn't been in the guest store and like a bazillion years. And I was like I'm going to try on these suction tight jeans. Well thankfully, the jeans have so much more stretch now. So I wasn't like stressing about sizes. And I wanted to be try on those tight jeans with the triangle on the butt pocket and I turned around and I looked at myself in the mirror of course I like tried to make sure that there was no one else like in the dressing room because I had walked out of the private dressing room and I was like in the main mirror and I was like I'm gonna check out my ass in this mirror while a fucking take videos of myself like Thank God my daughter wasn't with me because she'd like have to be in like seven days a week therapy for that, like trauma. But anyway, the stretch sheets really helped and I don't know it was one of those things that were like Like, this really brought back memories for me of like, still got it like who's the Sarah deep town when she was, you know, 16 years old. Like what was important to her like, school was important to me getting good grades. I had a really serious boyfriend at the time. I had a big mouth. I was super opinionated. I played soccer on the soccer team, even though I like wasn't the best, let's be honest. But it was like my school sport. This is kind of embarrassing to say, because it could never be allowed in today's time. But like, when, when we did like the soccer awards, I basically got like the equivalent of like, the good looking award. I mean, my parents and I laugh about it now because like, you could never fucking do that these days. Like, no school could ever get away with that. And I will be honest, I was like borderline traumatized by that. But whatever. Looking back on it, I was like, okay, yeah, like the blonde girl twirling her hair. But I did do all the things like all the soccer practices, I went to soccer tryouts with a broken fucking toe. I did all of those things all the signature Sarah things anyway, when I was working there, summer like the Sarah things were like, okay, young, pretty smart and motivated. I knew that I had my whole life ahead of me so much optimism. And I went to a pretty difficult High School in terms of academics, and I worked my tail off. I ended up going to an Ivy League school, which was really fucking lucky because these days, there's no chance I would have fucking gotten into the school because these days you have to like literally be like a Nobel Laureate to get into college. I was just sort of like a regular girl who played one school sport adequately. I took one AP class I was not like a fucking you know, rocket scientist like solving world peace. My claim to fame was my kids always joke I got a five on the Spanish AP. That was the only AP class that I took. But that was like, easy for me. But anyway, those are some of my legs. Still got it? Yes, I can still speak Spanish. Yes, every one of my house makes fun of me, but they're slightly impressed because somehow when my daughter likes Spanish, my son is like, this is so hard. I can't do this because he's more of like a math person. Anyway, my teenagers kind of laugh at the idea that I worked at the guest store they definitely appreciate it. It's kind of funny. But it made me think about like the still got a thing in the guest store made me think about how we all have things in our lives that we remember and like milestones and like what makes me me and what makes my kids my kids and what makes my husband my husband. And it kind of relates to you know, it's like I had kids I decided to be a stay at home mom with a PhD that you know, I use for five minutes and then never had the quote job again. But I do have to say that part of the still got it thing has been me digging into what were those things and what could bring back those feelings of like Sarah and who I am and that's what I call the midlife remix. It's finding me again, finding this still got it items finding me again in midlife trying on those guests jeans brought me back to those feelings of still got it. Sara still got it. Yes, my ass is flatter. Yes, my ass hangs lower.

Yes, of course. I'm wearing three sizes bigger than I did in high school. But who the fuck cares? This is our time to do our version of us. What do you still got peeps? What do you still got? Okay? If there's anything you can do, or see that would inspire you to feel that you still got it? Do it. Honestly. Go on a yoga retreat. Take a day at the beach. Make a plan with your best friend. reminisce with a high school friend about shit that you used to love. These are all the things that will bring us back to who am I? Who was I before? All these different life transitions of mom's spouse, widow student, career person, non career person. What are those core things? Okay, I love talking to you guys. Postmates is delivering Chipotle right now because I have free Postmates thank God because I have to bring lunch for the whole baseball team. Of course my son gave me like 25 minutes notice, I guess a family brings lunch the day of the game so that's me today. I'm gonna go run and do that but I just want to say this in this podcast, we are trying to figure out what we still got. What you still got what I still got the midlife fucking remix is this figure out what you still got and what you still can find. If there were things in your past that like weren't that cool or weren't that interesting or weren't that inspiring? Who the fuck cares? Find new things become a belly dancer? I don't know. It doesn't matter what it is. But you have to find that thing. That's just for you. That's like your little getaway your a little personal Juju. I mean, I have to be honest, like my husband had to go through an event the other night I had a toothache and I couldn't go. So he wants stag and this woman sat down next to him and goes, Wait, are you the flexible neurotics husband. And, like, I laugh about that. And like it also warms my heart a little bit because you know, this whole time I'm like, I'm Jeremy's wife. But like, for the first time he was the flexible neurotics husband. And then of course he could have come home and not told me that or you could have come home and like sort of made fun of it. But he came home in this like, very sweet, endearing way and was like Sarah, like, I'm really proud of you like the fact that I could go to this like event. And this random stranger sits next to me and says like, basically, are you the flexible neurotics husband, I'm like, damn, like, she still got it. So I'm going to drop off the AAA at school. I'm happy you're here. I love this fucking podcast. I love this community. We're having deep chats with experts. We're listening to Sara's stream of consciousness. We're digging up golden nuggets of actionable steps that we can start using today. This is the midlife fucking REMAX becoming who we want to be. Wherever you are on this journey. You will enjoy this podcast, I promise you, if you put in the time you put in the energy and if you participate, I know that liking posts and making comments and sending DMS and writing reviews is an extra fucking project. But look, you guys like you we say to our kids, when you participate in something when you have skin in the game. It makes them more real. It makes them more tangible. You have like that physical and like emotional energy. It's like we're all vibing and creating this, like juicy community together. There are three things you can do first, fucking subscribe to the podcast. Like if you're just like a looky loo listener, subscribe. It helps me it's not gonna like hurt you to subscribe to the podcast second share with some friends who'd like midlife shed. And third write an apple review. It's fucking annoying. I get it writing reviews is a drag. It's an extra step but guess what? It really helps the podcast grow. You think your little review won't matter? But it does. If you went to a concert or a show and everyone said my clap doesn't matter. There would be no clapping. Everyone matters you all matter. DM me, you know I always respond. I am the only person in my Instagram so if you are getting responses, it is from Mee Mee Mee and of course follow my Instagram, at the flexible neurotic on Instagram to talk soon!