Midlife Nutrition &
“Well-Being Buffet”...
3 Experts
Sarah Milken 0:01
Let's stir the midlife nutrition stew and take a spoonful of midlife self obsession with reasonable small action steps. You guys know how I feel about nutrition and exercise. What's my good enough? I'm not going to starve. I'm not going to give up carbs and sugar. And I'm not going to exercise an hour a day. What I am going to do is continue to add some shit in.
Hey, peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife pump wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just luck, coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps.
Let's do this. Hey, peeps, welcome to the next episode of The flexible neurotic Podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Okay, as we dive deep into December, and by the time you hear this episode, it will be probably middle ish of December and approaching 2023. A new year where we make ourselves promises to eat better and work out more and to meditate. We set up intentions clean out the fridge order the online workout classes. We follow healthy Instagram accounts, nutrition and food are such a huge part of our midlife reinvention story is we here eat this. Don't eat that. Try this plan or that wad. We ask other women how'd you get so skinny? What did you do? What's your secret? It's so much information. In this episode that I haven't even fucking named yet. I go back and I highlight three nutritional experts who I've interviewed on my podcast and we talk about what we've learned from them. This episode will not be eat this or eat that it will be favorite podcast clips from these three fab female experts. First up will be Adrian you Diem, then Alyssa Goodman, then Jenny Giles. Before each clip comes up, I will remind you with a few quick sentences of their bios. And if you're like me, and you've even listened to those episodes before, you probably won't even fucking remember that's the beauty of midlife. Here we go again guys. In this episode, I will be centering and focusing on the importance of thinking about midlife hunger, hunger in quotation marks, hunger, food, meaning and daily habits, finding your midlife good enough in nutrition. This is something I talk about regularly on my Instagram and podcast, because it really is a vital piece of our midlife remixes. We want to look good, we want to feel good, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We're not in our 20s anymore, we're not able to eat anything and everything we want to and not gain the weight. And sometimes there's negative side effects that come with it. Like I have genetically really high cholesterol, I have some blood sugar issues lalalala now this is just not about weight gain or getting super skinny. It's about the whole thing. My regular listeners know that I'm a midlife muffin top mama who sometimes has to squeeze into her stretchy jeans, sometimes more than other times, but you know, it is what it is. I have a few different sizes. I'm not ashamed of it, I fold them up, put them in the cabinet, take out the next stack. It's just part of my fucking routine. But I choose to be that way because it's how I feel comfortable on my body. What I prefer to like have less of a muffin top. Yeah, of course. But I'm not going to make myself crazy. I'm not going to aim for the perfect body. Well, first of all, I've never had one. But guess what, it's not realistic. It's not realistic with my lifestyle and age coming on to 48 that I'm going to restrict myself and not eat sugar and not eat carbs. I want to feel comfortable my own body. I don't want to live perfectly. It's not realistic. It's not realistic for any part of my life. I want to be able to like go on a ski trip drink hot chocolate, eat a chocolate muffin do all the things. I'm not doing an extreme CrossFit workout but I am following my workout plan that meets my needs. Do I cancel it a lot? Yeah, of course I do. I'm a normal human that I want to stay And my bed sometimes an hour longer. Yeah, of course. Could it be more rigorous could involve a little more strength training that all the research is showing is helping with cognitive decline and physical overall health and mental health and cognitive health? Yeah. Well, I sometimes soon in the future praying hope so that I get a little bit better about the weightlifting. Yeah, I'm eating well enough for me right now. Look, I have a 16 year old daughter who I adore but drives me insane. I have an 18 year old son applying to colleges. I have parents who are getting older. I'm running this podcast and my Instagram and trying to be a relatively high functioning well adjusted human being. I mean, at least that's what I think my kids would probably say suddenly and totally different. But I'm not following a super strict 24/7 diet. I'm not punishing myself. But I'm also not going to let myself fall into like a further cholesterol abyss. You guys know that? I take a statin I've talked about that a million times. And I have some blood sugar stuff going on. And so yeah, I do have to keep an eye on certain things. But guess what, I'm going to eat the fucking Broughty this midlife shit takes work. Sometimes I'm here for it and I'm in it to win it. And other days I'm like, oh my god, I just can't eat the veggies. I just can't eat the fiber. My stomach feels 40 and full and I'm already constipated. I like to say that I'm dabbling in the mid life nutrition, exercising, staying hydrated and fiber up buffet. Some days. Woohoo, I nailed it. And other days I'm hanging from the ceiling. Wait, that would require way too much energy to hang from the ceiling and that would assume that I can do a fucking pull up which I can't more like I'm under the covers of my bed hiding from the treadmill and the weighted vests and all the other things in the midlife Healthy Living buffet that are sometimes just too fucking hard and I can't deal that's just not who I am. But if you are then good for you. It's all about feeling good in your own body. I'm aiming for that mixture of healthy and comfortable and fucking good enough. For a deeper dive into my nutritional and physical choices in midlife. Then check out my minisode midlife muffin tops and good enough I think you'll really like it. Okay, back into this episode, I'm gonna highlight my favorite golden nuggets from three previous guests in this nutrition area. All three women are nutrition experts who are using their different life experiences, and educational and professional backgrounds to inform and help women gain a healthier midlife by finding our good enough asking ourselves the important questions about ourselves and what we're really hungry for. Each of my fab three experts explains their nutritional practices, and how they communicate with their clients about the mid life, nutritional dabbling buffet, eating, exercising nourishing ourselves with other things and just food in the second half of life. In midlife, we have to think about how the way we eat can affect our hormone levels, preexisting health conditions, things are changing in our minds and bodies. We can give up and just say all this shit is happening to me. Yeah, it's happening to me. Or we can say I want to expand. I want to dig in. I want to investigate how can we find different lenses and habits that meets each of our own needs? What works for me may not work for someone else. And that's the beauty of the midlife remix doing it your own fucking way. Some of us may want to take up cooking to meet some of these midlife needs. While others of us might say I can't handle cooking, but maybe I'll focus a little more on the exercise part right now. Midlife self reinvention in every aspect is about small action steps, big steps, little fails and big fails. And of course some flat out midlife naps and days of oh my god, I just want to stay in bed. Let me just tell you I've had a lot of those lately. How can we eat, exercise and nourish our minds and bodies in a way that is beneficial to our physical and mental health and still have a great fucking life? We want to create personal change and impact. Let's look at our unique midlife buffets. What foods are we eating on the regular that could be amped up a bit. What deprivation is happening when we just don't let ourselves eat the cake our kids birthday, and of course mindfulness meditation and fucking moving. Are we mindlessly snacking? Are we eating with purpose? Are we trying to replace some other emotional need with the food? And if we're trying to change our nutritional habits and how do we enjoy coorporate that into our existing mid life daily habits without flipping everything upside down. Can we leave a water bottle with a straw on the bedside table to remind us to go down that first bottle of water for the day or the magnesium tablets on the edge of the nightstand so that we remember to take them before bed to help with sleep? Can we throw on the weighted vest that you see Instagram husband and me wearing on Instagram? If you're new here, Instagram husband is the name I call my husband because he hates Instagram. The weighted vest doesn't replace weights for lifting weights, but it definitely helps with bone density all over. These are the golden nuggets we're going to dive into grab your golden shovels and take a piece out of this midlife nutritional stew that we're cooking up here in this episode. Don't stress if you're dabbling of midlife, nutritional buffet is in slow cooker mode and not fast and flash fried. We can't make changes overnight. I mean, while you listen to these three midlife hottie nutritional experts, and Adrian UDM, a doctor and what they have to say and think about small things you can do. Maybe you just do a quick list of what you could add what you could take away or something that you found interesting about what they have to say.
Our first expert is Dr. Adrienne UDM. She is an author, podcaster and physician specializing in medical weight loss and nutrition. Adrienne is smart and relatable and fun. She's action oriented with giving her patients specific information, which I love. Adrienne focuses not only on the food hunger that we're facing, but also helps her patients understand their deeper hungers. That could be due to anxiety, seeking more meaning in their lives wanting to belong, purpose and creativity and mid life. In this clip, Adrienne shares with us some examples of experiences with her clients who are facing these challenges. And she gives us a sneak peek into her book, hungry for more stories in science to inspire weight loss from the inside out. Let's dig in and I will come back to you right after her section. Okay, so now we are going to get to the book for a minute. The reminder is called Hungry for more stories in science to inspire weight loss from the inside out. We talked at the beginning about how what the purpose of the book was right. You wanted to share stories, inspire people, educate people normalize a lot of the concerns that many of us have, is that a fair assessment?
Unknown Speaker 12:48
Well, I think yes, I wanted to speak to the universal human experience or condition and to remind people that regardless of who you are, where you are these stories and these concerns and the struggles and the losses, and the joys, they're universal, right, so let's destigmatize and take kind of the shame out of what our experiences are. I also wanted to speak to the fact that like, while again, I have a very practical approach and can help with writing medications. I'm very comfortable with FDA approved drugs and you know, guidance that's practical. At the end of the day, I know that we have to address the underlying hunger. And so what I started doing just in my practice, not really formally was I was writing prescriptions for like puppies, you know, in someone who really was like longing for connection, or, you know, sometimes I was really I had to, like control myself to tell someone to quit their job, but I wouldn't in lieu of telling them to outright quit, you know, I would bring up the question, you know, like, what, what is this job? Like, what is really the goal here? Like, what are we doing here? Right? What's the point? Well
Sarah Milken 14:02
see what I think it's interesting, because what I took away from the book as a reader is a 46 year old reader is, yes, we're all hungry for food, and we need to eat to live. But you're saying, hey, you know what, yes, we all need to eat to live but there's actually a hunger there for something deeper. Yes, that is leading us to eat more. And perhaps if we satisfied whatever hungers we have, that would make us more content happier. And ultimately, one if one of our goals was to lose weight, perhaps we would lose weight because we've satisfied another internal hunger that we have. And you've took each chapter so brilliantly and made each chapter an example of hungers that come up in your practice.
Unknown Speaker 14:55
Correct. That was very well said. Thank Hear for that synopsis. So
Sarah Milken 15:02
what were your favorite chapters? Like? Let's pick a few, like, I know that you talked about perfection. And you brought in a 20 year old girl who was struggling with her weight. And you sort of assess the situation, can you give us sort of an overall view of what happened there?
Unknown Speaker 15:21
I'd have to say, first of all that, and I say this in the intro, or the prologue that everyone has been de identified, right. And so I still know that my patients are gonna read this book and be like, Oh, she's talking about me. But it really
Sarah Milken 15:35
is, you're really talking about so many of us? Well,
Unknown Speaker 15:38
exactly. It speaks to the universality of the stories because you could be a 50 year old man, or you could be a 25 year old girl. And you could have the same story. Yes. So in terms of hungry for perfection, this is a young adult who comes in and she is, you know, the first child and has been perfect in everything and has conditioned herself to do the right thing at home, do the right thing at school, do the right thing financially, take care of siblings, etc, etc. And the one area that she feels that she can't gain perfection is in her weight. She comes in for weight loss. But it turns out she's not actually overweight. She's just within the range, right? But she's looking at perfection. And she
Sarah Milken 16:22
grabs her tummy you say, pleases her tummy and shows you her fat roll
Unknown Speaker 16:27
as a sign of this kind of imperfection. And so there's so many things in that to address. But really, what needs to be addressed? Is this this desire or this hungry, hunger to be perfect. Which if we really define what perfection is, it's something that is, by definition, unattainable. Yes, perfection. And it's not cliche to say that so you look up the psychologists definition of perfection, by definition, it is something or a standard that is so high, and a goalpost that keeps moving, that you ultimately can never achieved that goalpost. And so what that does actually contrary to your intention, is it actually sabotage you. So not only do you not gain the perfection that's in your mind, but you don't even achieve your goals, you kind of shrink down because the fear of not achieving that goal is so shameful that you self sabotage.
Sarah Milken 17:30
So how do you address that with her? What do you say to her? What does she need? She doesn't need a doughnut, she doesn't need to give the doughnut up? What does she really need in that?
Unknown Speaker 17:41
Well, you know, at the beginning, in all of these stories, is really a lack of awareness. So of course, people are like, No, you don't understand, like, I need to lose 20 pounds, you know, like, yeah, there's no like, there's no awareness of kind of what really is going on. And so the first step is really, to help people become aware. And there's various things that I may recommend, depending on where the person is at. So sometimes I give them journaling exercises. Sometimes I give them mindfulness meditation exercises, sometimes I tell them to go color just because they need some mental space, right? And so I really try and promote awareness. The second thing is once they have that awareness, sometimes that triggers shame, right? It's like now more shame, right? And so when you think about like, Mindful self compassion, the tenants are actually awareness. And the second one is self compassion. So in that moment, when you notice you're doing something, can you just like, give yourself a break? Can you just have compassion for yourself and be like, Yeah, this is something I want
Sarah Milken 18:50
to tell ourselves that we're enough. I mean, isn't that the sort of essence at the root of a lot of this is how do we convince ourselves that we are enough avatar?
Unknown Speaker 19:00
I don't think it's a convincing, I think it's a practicing.
Sarah Milken 19:03
That's a good point.
Unknown Speaker 19:05
I think it's a practicing. And I think it's something that requires reminding. So I may be in, you know, I may wake up one morning and like, my sunroof is open and my windows are rolled down. And I'm like,
Sarah Milken 19:18
You're having a flow day,
Unknown Speaker 19:21
be loving on myself. And then shit, what happens the next day I wake up and I'm like, my hair is gray again. I got spots on my nose, where the hell are these things come from? I didn't finish my to do list and I'm being lazy. And so that's an important point too, right? Because sometimes you get discouraged by that. You're like, Man, I had it what happened? But if the expectation is not being there all the time, if we know that this is a practice, that waxes and wanes, then we can even have more compassion for that. We can have compassion for the times where we're, you know, are down in the dumps. And having that compassion makes us more resilient to come back up. Now, in the case of this particular story, I didn't get there with her, she was too much in what she wanted to have a conversation about mindfulness and perfectionism. And it's not like I come out with all of this at once. But for those people who are actually open to it, I talk about the science behind a Mindful self compassion practice that not only does that address, body image and weight loss and make us more likely to achieve healthy habits, but it also addresses the perfectionism piece.
Sarah Milken 20:40
Well, I also think you make a really good point, and that you say, not everyone is open to it, like some people go to a weight loss Doctor wanting a magic pill, but they don't realize that, like, you can give all the tools you want. But as long as if the person isn't open to it, or willing to do them, it's not gonna work.
Unknown Speaker 21:01
It's not even open or willing to do them. Because I feel like there's like judgment there, you know, willing to do it. And I just have a keen ear to this, because I've been talking to people about this for so many years that I just have really, for myself try to
Sarah Milken 21:17
refine the way of saying the conversation.
Unknown Speaker 21:21
Yeah. So it's not that and I get it, I get that people want to lose weight, which is why I will provide the tools. But at some point, I have to be like, Look, this is ultimately going to undermine you, right? This thing that you're hungry for this perfection that you're seeking, is actually a hunger for something else is hunger for self compassion, which is the point that I make in that chapter. Yeah. And if we don't achieve that hunger, or if we don't address that hunger, you could be a size two, and you could still be hungry for
Sarah Milken 21:57
that. Yeah. It's like you want this car, you want this house, you get it? And that's still not enough. Unless you think you are enough, right? I actually
Unknown Speaker 22:07
had this conversation just yesterday with a patient who came in and told me, she had gained like, 18 pounds over the pandemic, she's always been the same way. She never had a weight problem. We got the 18 pounds off. Now she's 22 pounds lighter than she was when she came in. And now she's like, frustrated because she's stuck. And I'm like, How are we stuck? Because I am stuck. I'm not,
Sarah Milken 22:30
it's never enough. And a lot of us don't take into account those small wins, and then they're never enough.
Unknown Speaker 22:36
So then I have to go back into the medical record, because I write these I type this stuff in. So I'm scrolling back six months ago, and I read to her, it says here that you gained 18 pounds. And the goal is to lose the 18 pounds you gained during COVID. Right? So how are we stuck? Right? So it's requires, you know, it requires a lot of reminding, and in this case that I'm telling you, the woman was older. I'm not judging. I'm just demonstrating, I'm just illustrating that you could be 20, like Sophie was in Chihuahua, or you could be 46. And that's the speaks to the point of how do you convince yourself? It's a practice?
Sarah Milken 23:19
Yeah, and I what I find interesting about your work and your book is, it's almost like you're a cross between a life coach and a weight loss doctor, because that's what a life coach does. Like, even for me, I'm like, Okay, well, like what can I do to grow this podcast bigger and my life coach reminds me she's like, Sarah, six months ago, you didn't even know if you could make a podcast. And now you're like, how can I get this bigger? How do I get this here? And she did the same exact thing. She went back to the notes read to me things that I had said, and I was like, Oh, my God, thank you for reminding me.
Unknown Speaker 23:55
Yeah, it's funny because I've thought about taking out one of these life coaching courses. Yeah, but I realized in the last you know, I used to be an avid reader. I loved reading as a child and I was a classics major in college so I you know, had to read like classic mythologies, etc. And then I stopped reading for like, 20 years, right med school happened, kids happen, like,
Sarah Milken 24:18
I just, oh, you're also reading medical research all day long. Like, how do you have time to write
Unknown Speaker 24:23
journals that were standing on my bed? Yeah. But in the last several years, I've done so much of reading in this in this realm and just self educated on like, on mindfulness and coloring and you know, all these different creative pursuits. And I'm a big writer, so I don't mean book writer, but journaling since I was six years old,
Sarah Milken 24:47
you have a creative expression and creative outlet in addition to your nerdiness
Unknown Speaker 24:52
and I have processed it in this way. Right? And so I've come to learn it is a lot of life coaching because I think I have honed in my intuition in terms of what people need. And it's not just it's not always a diet pill like they think.
Sarah Milken 25:08
Right. And that leads me to my next chapter that you talk about, which is hunger for creativity. So you had a retired judge who realized that she was restless and bored. You told her that you asked her about hobbies, and she was like hobbies. What are you talking about? Hobbies are pointless. I hate hobbies. And you were like, no, no hobbies are not pointless. Tell us what happened.
Unknown Speaker 25:32
This is very personal. Well, they're all personal to me. And I share a lot of personal so all my talking about shoveling shit, all my shit is in this book. So if you're curious, right. Story was a retired judge, she became a judge at a time of life where women were not in these positions. Clearly, she had to be a badass, very professional, very educated, very on it, you know, in order to achieve this high status, and she does it beautifully for her entire career. And then she decides to retire in part because her her husband developed Parkinson's, and so she retires. And so she starts gaining weight in retirement. And the story line is, well, I'm home now not working anymore, so I must be eating more. But then she also described this like restlessness, right? Like this restlessness. So I kind of hone in on that restlessness, like, what is this restlessness? Are you missing work? Like, do you want to be back? And she's like, No, actually, I'm actually okay. Like, I love my job. And I'm okay not being in my profession or working anymore. But she's restless. And it it occurred to me that or it struck me that there was this energy that needed to be used in some way that wasn't being utilized. Right. And so she was eating because she felt like itchy, restless. You know, it's
Sarah Milken 26:53
so funny that you say that, because I'm about to say what I was about to say is, that's how I felt when like, right before the pandemic started, when I turned 45. I was like, I have like second half of life itchy. My kids are teenagers. I have this PhD, I haven't been working. I'm like itchy. And that's what I describe, like in my Instagram posts and the captions. I'm like, Are any of you as itchy as I am? Like, let's let's scratch our itches together. But we don't know what they are. You know
Unknown Speaker 27:23
what's so beautiful about that, that what was beautiful about that, to me is that you experienced this at 45. And this judge was experiencing it in her 70s. Right? Talk about the human condition talk about how the stories are universal. And it doesn't matter how old you are doesn't matter, right? And so I recommend so I asked her about hobby, she rolls her eyes at me, which is my eyes too. Yes. Which is precisely what I did. Right? When, when I was offered up creative pursuits, right. And then in digging a little bit deeper, it turns out that she did have a creative past that she actually wanted to be an artist that her parents pushed her to do something like, you know, more sophisticated and money making. And so she ended up going into law school, but she loved art. And yes, I told her to increase the protein or diet, I told her to clean out her pantry, yada, yada, yada. When I told her to start painting again, and the profound impact that this had in this person, I mean, she was exuding joy at the fact that she was doing what was always a hobby that she hadn't even quantified as a hobby in her mind. And then I go into like the data around that right and the benefits in terms of you know, neuro chemistry and things of that creativity. And so, what I also love about this is what feels good, is also what we intuitively know is good is also scientifically sound. Yeah, and that's what I try and the message that I try and promote.
Sarah Milken 29:02
Okay, Adrian really does start the conversation by asking us to ask ourselves the tough question. What are we truly hungry for in midlife? Are we eating because we're hungry for food? Or are we hungry for something deeper meaning purpose, relevance, novelty, creativity, so many things. We talk about the chapters of our book where she highlights women with particular hidden desires that maybe they don't even know about that they go back and think about, and Adrian inspires them to start thinking about that and personally answering those hard questions in her book hungry for more that you should all buy. I'm not sponsored. Adrienne is relatable and provides real world examples of midlife women just like us. Women maybe wanting to midlife. freemax A personal rebrand. She shows us that it can be easy to succumb to emotional eating to fill a void especially After being home for two and a half years with a pandemic, but if we recognize and question some of our triggers, we can take small steps in creating the midlife nutritional buffet that we're all wanting. She never claims that it's easy, and Adrienne does believe that you need to eat the damn cupcakes or french fries on date night. We all have lives to live finding our own good enough for ourselves and our best health. We all want our bloodwork to show a thumbs up and health and our minds and bodies to be healthy. This is not aiming for perfection, but a work in progress and a willingness for progress. Unfortunately, more healthful and thoughtful eating and exercise cannot be done for us. And we can't buy it on Amazon. Believe me if we could, I would have already done it. We have to do the work for a deeper dive into Adrian's views on midlife hunger and more golden nuggets than listen to satisfying our hungers for food, meaning and purpose in midlife. It's a three part episode that she and I did together it's so good now next up is Alyssa Goodman. She's a holistic nutritionist and lifestyle cleanse expert to an A list roster of celebrities and regular midlife women just like you and me. She has a really fun and informative Instagram that goes through a million different things. Alyssa gives real suggestions and tips for healthy eating juicing supplements and has her own signature soup cleanse that can be delivered right to your door if you live in LA after being diagnosed with cancer at a very young age and then losing her husband his own fight with cancer. Alisa dove deep into finding solutions to help cure cancer and many other health problems she had. In this clip Alyssa sharing this experience of how she used Food as Medicine in her fight against cancer and past traumas healing her heart, mind and body. This midlife hottie celebrity nutritionist also talks about how she's a flexitarian meaning she follows an 8020 food philosophy that's like my midlife good enough. She likes to eat the cheese, drink the wine and eat the pizza. And yes, she works out but not like a crazy person. She's a normal human being and she's not perfect. And she's open to how sometimes you might just not be in the mood for the vegetable or to work out. Alyssa is a shining star for all things midlife nutrition, menopause supplements. She's a go to expert, you can book appointments with her just like Adrienne,
Unknown Speaker 32:46
I was raised with very type a parents. They were very motivated. They were educated. They were movers and shakers, they were very entrepreneur, they were ready to take on the world. So it was really kind of hard to live in a shadow of them growing up because it was always all about them. I mean, we can relate to that. I mean, I always looked up to them. I was amazed at what they were able to do in a day. The thing that was hard for me was that when I came into the world, I had a low immune system. I was always getting sick. So everything chicken pox and strep and tonsillitis and shingles and mono and, you know, just allergies and digestion issues. I mean, the list goes on and on. I feel like there wasn't anything that I didn't
Sarah Milken 33:35
have like a hot mess of a kid. It sounds like Oh, poor thing totally. And
Unknown Speaker 33:39
antibiotics all the time or you know, just not being able to do a lot of things because my mom was afraid I was gonna get sick. So it was a double whammy. I had these parents that were like moving a million miles an hour. And then here I was the Slowpoke wondering why I can't keep up and why I was always feeling bad and behind the eight ball. So that was the beginning of my childhood. So of course, I felt low self esteem, low self worth, you know that I was never going to measure up, I was never going to be as successful. And potentially, my identity was that I was never going to be healthy never ultimately going to thrive in my life. So it was an identity that I was associated with that I carried with me until much later in my years too late to want to acknowledge but at least I did. And then I was able to get an older brother. I did he was three years older
Sarah Milken 34:35
and how did that play into the family dynamic? Was he like the perfect one?
Unknown Speaker 34:39
He was the perfect one. He was the golden child. And I posted this on Instagram a few weeks ago like I was always the black sheep I was always going a different direction but I was a seeker you know is always seeking for something better for how he's gonna feel better for just do things better. And I was always the one that really want Did to feel life and to feel connection with people and the intimacy of connecting with people. And I just always was kind of, you know, not going down the family lineage of what we had been taught.
Sarah Milken 35:15
Now we sort of are interested in this idea of living outside the box and thinking outside of the box, and it's really encouraged, but back then, it wasn't encouraged. I mean, I remember that. I mean, I talked about in the other episodes, like, I'm a very performance driven person, too. And I was like, I'm gonna go to school, and I'm going to take these classes, I'm going to get A's and then I'm going to do this, and then then I'm going to do that. But sometimes I wish I had more of the exploration of creativity or thinking outside of the box during those formative years.
Unknown Speaker 35:48
For sure, yes, I know. I mean, I definitely had that. I did get into trouble a lot.
Sarah Milken 35:54
Right? Exactly. Because you don't follow the rules. You're the black sheep,
Unknown Speaker 35:58
you're always always in trouble. Always, you know, stepping on toes, always like mixing up the dynamic, which people don't like. I kind of always did that. But now when I sit here with you today, I mean, I love that I did that, because I got to really experience life at that really gut root level.
Sarah Milken 36:17
So how did that change your parenting?
Unknown Speaker 36:19
Oh, wow.
Unknown Speaker 36:21
It's been such an incredible process. Not an easy one at all. I mean, as you and I know, raising kids in LA, or I think you grew up in LA, and I
Sarah Milken 36:31
grew up in LA, and I've had two kids in LA. So but the LA back then was a little different. I mean, now with social media, forget it, you know?
Unknown Speaker 36:41
Oh, right. So when we kids went to private school, my husband and I were definitely overachievers. We're definitely trying to keep up, you know, because we were just following in the footsteps of our families. And when he got sick, and he passed away, you know, the rug was completely pulled out from underneath us. Yes, we had a really great support system. Because where the kids went to private school, the families were amazing. And they were friends. And they were super supportive. But all of a sudden, it was like, Oh, my God, I'm a single parent, never dreaming that I would ever have to do that. And I wasn't working at the time because my husband was and thinking, Oh, my God, am I gonna have to go back to work and support them? And all the feelings of like, holy shit, what the hell is head for me? You have
Sarah Milken 37:29
to keep your shit together, and your kids shit together? And where do you even start when your life is sort of unraveling like that? I can't imagine Oh, so
Unknown Speaker 37:37
well. It didn't go so much. It was we floundered. And I made a lot of mistakes. You know, I still continue to push my girls, you know, like I was pushed, which was the very big mistake, because the stress of it all, they just couldn't manage. And I couldn't manage it. Either. I was trying to uphold this whole idea of this perfect family. That was okay. But we really weren't okay, so it was really challenging. But as time has gone on, I mean, now, we all believe in therapy, and, you know, we're communicators. So we have really dove deep into our traumas and our psyche, and our just emotional well being, that it's been a blessing in every way. I mean, the three of us, you know, whereas I would have said, you know, 15 years ago, we were at odds to some degree for those years periodically, but now we are because these were so close. We don't really make a move without each other. We are we're really supportive, you know, and I now realize how much I want them to voice how they like things. They don't like things, I want them to feel a sense of freedom, to tell me what's right and what's not. Right. I was never given that it was never okay to say, hey, what you said, or what you did made me feel bad, or I didn't really like that. So I was never able to voice how I felt.
Sarah Milken 39:01
Yeah, I can completely understand that. I feel like based on your childhood, when you were the sort of quote black sheep out of the box thinker. In some ways. You think when you come back as a parent, you're gonna raise your kids in this idealistic way of how you weren't raised, but then when the shit hits the fan, and you're there, you sometimes revert back to how you were raised. So then you have these life events come in, like your diagnosis and then your husband's diagnosis, and it's like, oh shit, maybe I should be doing this differently. Maybe I really do have to listen to those inner voices of what I didn't like in my childhood and actually fix those things.
Unknown Speaker 39:46
And I had to you know, why is because I knew my cancer was caused from being suppressed not voicing how I felt, you know, that very much emotional suppression and anxiety suppresses the immune system. I'm so or the fear of maybe getting sick. I mean, my girls had two parents who had cancer, and automatically I thought they were gonna think they're gonna get cancer. So that fear of always looking over your shoulder thinking, Oh my God, my parents had cancer, maybe that might happen to me someday. That is absolutely the goal of what I didn't want them to feel. And I wanted to figure out a way to release that fear, release the trauma, release the PTSD of losing their dad, you know, to be able to live a life where they felt some sense of freedom. That has been the total goal. And then the nutrition thing just came out of all of that. It was interesting, I didn't want to become a nutritionist. I never dreamed I'd be here sitting here talking to you about cleansing and nutrition,
Sarah Milken 40:45
faster, good story. Good story,
Unknown Speaker 40:48
it fell into my lap like crazy. It was like, basically wanting to get healthy, and make sure they were healthy. And then I went down the nutrition route, then I got trained in a little bit of trauma work and therapy and figuring out how to release those thought patterns. Then I went into energy healing, which I've loved for years, where energy healers can go in and actually release thought patterns that aren't working for you and teach you ways to release them yourself by journaling, or meditation or all those things. I mean, I explored them all. So it still
Sarah Milken 41:21
went to like a vending machine of mental health, right?
Unknown Speaker 41:26
I did. I did. Wow, I wanted to actually try everything in that vending machine. And I'm glad I'm so glad I did. Because it has opened up my world in a way that I never dreamed was possible. Between you and me. I never had inner peace ever, ever until probably about two or three years ago. I never knew what inner calm meant. I didn't live like that. What does it mean to you? inner calm means that everything's gonna be okay. That you are good enough. You have enough materialistic you might not think you have enough, but really, you do have enough and that, that I love myself, I love myself for all my flaws. And to love yourself is huge, because that really does calm down the body. And when I talk to my clients, and I say to them, Do you love yourself? The answer is always. I never thought about it. And no, I don't like, you know, I love everybody else around me, potentially. But I never think about loving myself. So that's what that peace
Sarah Milken 42:31
what is loving yourself mean, I know that you've talked about it as sort of the cornerstone of the health lifestyle process? How would you define it?
Unknown Speaker 42:42
Loving yourself means you put yourself first, you know, just like that oxygen mask that they say on the airplane. I mean, we we all know that. But we do not do that. I'm not saying we're being narcissistic, or anything like that. But we need to take care of ourselves and make sure that we're energetically in a good place we feel fulfilled, you know, we have a sense of calm about life. Yes, there's gonna be moments of not calm. But overall, we realize why we were put on this planet. There's a reason why we're here. We're all here for a reason. And if we can find that reason, and we can find what really gets us up every day energizes us and excites us. I mean, that's what life is all about. And also loving yourself means taking care of yourself, you know, eating right, sleeping, well, just the pillars of, you know, knowing what your identity is not attributing your identity to a past life, or a past circumstance like I did with the health or the self poor stuff, because I couldn't keep up with what my parents were doing. My road was different. So it's all of those things. That's what love is, is just realizing you're maybe never going to be like them, but you're going to be something else. And it's going to be so fulfilling to you, and you're going to be healthy. Because you're going to take care of yourself first and foremost. That's really what self love is all about. And when you find that and you let go of a lot of the frustrations and the fear, and the self doubt and self worth and the lack of self worth. Everything opens up for you when you manifest things, and you just are like open to whatever happened.
Sarah Milken 44:26
It's like the synchronicity of opening doors. Yes, absolutely. It's like you open one door, another door opens, another door slightly opens and you keep pushing a little bit harder, and then the next one opens. That's what I have found, even in this podcast process of starting something new starting from scratch, starting small. It's so hard for someone like myself, who's 45 years old with a PhD, you know, with all of these sorts of like accolades, but then with the podcast, it's brand new And I'm starting over and I'm starting super small. And how do you put yourself out there? It's a very vulnerable spot to be in. Yeah,
Unknown Speaker 45:09
it's very vulnerable. But vulnerability is where it's at. You know, right when you're open and vulnerable trying.
Sarah Milken 45:15
I'm like, oh my god, I have to put myself on social media.
Unknown Speaker 45:20
I know that was a hard one for me, especially at my age, because I went on it 50. So or maybe a little later,
Sarah Milken 45:26
how did you make that job? Can you give me some advice?
Unknown Speaker 45:30
Oh, my God, I'm
Sarah Milken 45:31
not sure is that like a whole dinner for us? Social media.
Unknown Speaker 45:35
Now being 60 and still being on it's still hard. It's still hard. Because, you know, I feel like I'm kind of one of the older ones on there.
Sarah Milken 45:44
I feel older at 45. I'm like, Oh, my God, who am I? Why am I doing this? How am I doing this?
Unknown Speaker 45:51
It's true. It's tricky. But then when I get the stories back from people who I can touch their heart, or I can help them in some small way, um, it doesn't have to be a huge way. But if I'm helping people just make little changes in their life that are transformative. It's what it's all about it I will do this forever until I can't.
Sarah Milken 46:16
I think that knowing what your why is. And you have a very clear why do you want to tell us how you see your why.
Unknown Speaker 46:24
Yes, My why is that I really want to teach people that they don't have to live with illness with self doubt, with lack of self love, not thriving, they don't have to just survive in their life. I see that a lot. I want them to learn to thrive. And it's not that hard. There's easy things that they could do to get to a life that's really fulfilling, and health wise to you don't have to live with cancer and autoimmune, and diabetes and hormone issues. There are so many fabulous things out there that you can do to transform that and not ever have to live with that stuff. Again,
Sarah Milken 47:02
they say that you're a flexitarian which of course piqued my interest as the flexible neurotic, can you tell us about that, and what that means, they feel like it could relate to me in some way.
Unknown Speaker 47:14
100% 100% Because I love to eat, and I do love to entertain, and I do love food. So I am not going to be strict all the time with my food. You know, I'm gonna eat gluten and hot pizza and pasta, and I am gonna go out. And hopefully I'll come over to your house someday for a dinner party. And you're serving cheese, a cheese platter or cocktails, you know, I mean, there's no way that I'm not going to enjoy my life. That's why I'm a flexitarian. You know, I try to do the best I can 80% of the time 20% of the time, I am going to do those things. I'm going to have a shot of tequila, I'm going to have too much wine. I absolutely love pasta and pizza. So and I'm a cheese fanatic. So I tried to do the vegan cheeses and we try to make things with the fake cheese. But it's not the same.
Sarah Milken 48:05
It's not I mean, the other night actually, when I was preparing for this interview with you, I was like, God, I'm tired. I didn't really work out today I said to my husband, I'm like let's order de Vinos like rigatoni with like that meat Ragu sauce, I mean, just pile it on. Then he orders the vegetable pizza and I'm like, Oh my God. But once in a while. I just feel like you have to just dive in. That's my flexible part. My kids, it's probably my only flex, right?
Unknown Speaker 48:33
I know, I'm not sure my kids would say I'm so flexible with that stuff, either. I mean, the desserts around here are a little tricky because I tried to do gluten free low sugar or vegan. Sometimes they turned out sometimes there are over here. I'm gonna try to send a good ones, but in the drawer will be Oreos. And when my stepson was living here, there were m&ms and I would basically hyperventilate when I'd open the door and see the m&ms I would sweat.
Sarah Milken 48:59
Yes. Yeah. And then there's me who has the m&ms hidden from my children in my closet, because I'm like, Oh, when I want it, I want it and I don't want my kids to see that I'm eating it, but I think they kind of know. Okay, and sometimes there's some missing so I'm like somebody stole my money Twix bars, what?
Unknown Speaker 49:16
We have to laugh at ourselves. And we have to make fun of ourselves. I mean, in front of them to the kids, you know, they know we're not perfect. And if we admit to our imperfections, and and they see how neurotic we are, and then we can say oh my god, I know I'm being
Sarah Milken 49:30
wrong. Do you know how much humor this podcast has brought to my children and my husband? They think it's amazing. But they're like, Mom, you have to let us get like a small kick out of it. I mean, you're calling yourself the flexible neurotic you're doing a podcast. We're listening to your trailer like you got to give us like a little I'm like I know. So I basically am thrown under the bus all day long, but they are proud of me. Alyssa knows all too well. The medical difficulties we face in midlife and Throughout our lives and our loved ones may face by sharing her story Alyssa is inspiring us to make our bodies the strongest they can be inside and out in the second half of life. For deeper dive into Ulisses approach to healthy living and the different modality she uses, then listen to my episode with her thriving, not just surviving, cleansing, juicing and transforming. Alyssa has also written a book called cancer hacks and like I said earlier, she has a fab Instagram and a soup cleanse, where fresh homemade soups show up at your door and give your body the nutrients that they need. You can check out some of our supplements that we talked about in the episode in the show notes for the episode with her on my website www the flexible neurotic.com. Our third expert is holistic nutritionist Jenny Giles, Jenny and Alyssa are both nutritionists and good friends. I actually met Jenny and Alyssa is house. Jenny asks her followers and clients to ask themselves are you tired of the dieting fads and false claims about great midlife health and nutrition? Does it all seem to complicate it? And you guys know me I don't do complicated especially when it comes to food and food prep. Jenny does eat the damn cupcake. Also, she tells us not to just eat the cupcake, but maybe add in the cup of tea and sit on the porch making an experience rather than a drive by cupcake eating when you're not savoring the taste the sugar and the fun of it all. Just don't do it all the time. Jenny's about having the ingredients and foods in your house to make things easy. Grab a piece of Ezekiel bread, throw on some hummus. Do make sure if you have and use that hummus that it's not loaded with weird oils and throw on some cooked red peppers from the glass jar. There you have the snack on the go. And for me it's on a paper plate in my car. Not everything has to be a gourmet meal. Jenny Giles is here to help and make midlife nutrition just a little easier. In this clip Jenny teaches us how to create lasting changes in our overall health and how it's okay to just eat the damn cupcake. Once in a while. She reminds us that we don't have to flip our lives upside down for this crazy impossible lifestyle. We just have to take the small steps to create the balance you know like the midlife nutrition buffet, a little dabbling in this a little dabbling in that we don't have to be perfect. Let's take a bite into these juicy Nuggets with Jenny.
Unknown Speaker 52:44
It's consistency over time, right? We're not trying to be have perfection, and not have just kind of let it go sometimes. Yeah, right. But you want to not get in a pattern of like, it's got to be perfect. And then if I screw up well then fuck it all. Yeah, right. Like, it's just like, Nope, I screwed up the next meal, isn't it? Yeah,
Sarah Milken 53:03
you haven't you had an Instagram reel. That was like, okay, like the birthday cake was here. Okay, by fucking birthday cake. It's not sitting in my fridge for four days. It's so true. Like, we can celebrate those moments, but they can't go on for fucking ever.
Unknown Speaker 53:19
Right? It's because that's what we do. It's like some sort of this weird we all we didn't even like grew up in this depression time. Right? But like this weird scarcity thing. It's like we're I paid for this birthday cake or somebody brought me this birthday cake. I must then eat it until it's
Sarah Milken 53:35
all gone are like the cupcakes that are delivered to your house. And you're like you love the friend who delivered you know, who sent them to you? And you're like, Okay, how many can I give away? I'm going to eat one right now. I'm going to Save one for tomorrow. But that's it. Otherwise, I will eat the whole
Unknown Speaker 53:50
box, the whole box and, and it's the what I call the drive by right? It's like you don't want to like admit like, I'm going to sit down and eat this cupcakes.
Sarah Milken 53:59
pass by and have a bite. Oh, yeah. Oh, ye I justify it by just eating the frosting off the top. Right, which is full trans fats.
Unknown Speaker 54:10
But that's the thing. And then that's when it creates this spike, where it's like, if you're just like, had your regular lunch, you're wrapped filled with vegetables and all these things. And then you're like, now I'm gonna sit down outside on my, you know, patio and just eat this and savor this cupcake that's gonna have a totally different blood sugar experience than if you pass by every 10 minutes and like a little bit of the frosting, right? We all do. That's what we do. And so
Sarah Milken 54:34
it sounds like to me based on talking to you that like you're not just about like, eat this or do that or do this. It's about like creating a whole lifestyle out of it. And that sounds like obviously easier said than done. And I think I really like your kind of non bullshit approach of finding. I think what you describe as like every single person's like their own blueprint of like what works for their bodies, their lives, their Kitchen their skills, like your 62nd salad. I was like, Oh, I could maybe do that even though I'm like so bad in the kitchen. And it's kind of making these things that seems so big and so hard, like more relatable, and creating these mini habits. So in your sort of clientele and in your practice, what are you seeing in terms of like forming a habit like you have a woman come to you and it's like, I have this issue this issue this issue, you put out suggestions, like how long does it take to develop a new habit?
Unknown Speaker 55:36
Well, I'll first say this, we have to start here first. And that is sometimes people come to me because they were either told to come to me by a doctor or something like that, right? Or, and then when they arrive, they're bringing me habits they want to take on that they think they should take on. And that's kind of the deep dive at the beginning. Because you can't start a habit of something you actually don't want. That's never gonna happen. Right? Like the example I guess I use often is I am never going to run a marathon. I don't want to run a marathon.
Sarah Milken 56:12
Oh my God, I feel like you're reading my fucking mind. I have like a sentence about fat. Like a note about that. I'm like, don't make me fucking run. I'm never run. No, I'm
Unknown Speaker 56:23
never gonna run. That's not a thing that's going to happen for me. No, that's never gonna happen. That doesn't mean I'm not ever going to move my body. Right? But I have to find what moves my body works for me and back to like in my 20s like I like vowed I was never going to join a gym. Like I was like, I'm not into this. I even worked for Shape magazine which Marius is going to help us salad bar. And I was like, why don't we go into Quiznos? Why is nobody want to go to Quiznos here, right? No, but I had to find things that work for me. Right? I like to walk. I love yoga. Right? I do beach volleyball now on the
Sarah Milken 57:01
weekend. Oh my god,
Unknown Speaker 57:02
it's so fun. Because it's play for me, right? This is like an active, something that I enjoy. So if a client comes to me and is like, I want to, you know, all of a sudden sudden start running like do you write like what's
Sarah Milken 57:17
well, because I think a lot of times we hear and read about things that have instant results, or seem to have instant results because like, let's be honest, if you're sedentary and suddenly you start running three miles a day, you're gonna lose some quick weight fast.
Unknown Speaker 57:30
Yes and no. Right. But then it lasts for
Sarah Milken 57:33
two minutes. That's the thing. It's like anything extreme that brings in immediate gratification or impact seems appealing at the time.
Unknown Speaker 57:41
It does. And the goal is and with my approach to right, I'm not trying to find something that gets somebody immediate results. I'm trying to find something that changes their lifestyle forever. Right? We're trying to find all the pieces, right? I'm a holistic nutritionist. So it means we're not just talking about food, we're talking about our body as a whole system, right? There are so many things involved with what makes a healthy body and what helps you lose weight. That isn't just what you're putting in your mouth or how many calories you're burning. Okay, so then what do you eat for breakfast and breakfast is a variety of things depending on what I've got, if I've got clients early, if I'm on carpool jury that day or not, you know, those kinds of things, but like today, example, I did zekiel Cinnamon Raisin toast, right,
Sarah Milken 58:27
so you actually eat fucking bread. Oh, yeah. And I love it. Okay, that's cool. Because some people are like, I don't eat bread and I only gluten free bread. I'm like, Wait, there's like so many things.
Unknown Speaker 58:38
Yeah, there's a lot around the bread topic. Yeah. And Ezekiel bread is a sprouted bread. It's an organic bread. It's high in fiber. Right? Again, all the things that we were talking about bread. I'm not, I'm not going to be talking specifically to gluten. Right. But yeah, in general, where we get into trouble is that we eat it by itself. Right, which it doesn't really have any narwhal was on your bread. So peanut butter, and then some berries and didn't have raspberries today. But I've got cherries and strawberries. So that's what I ate. Right? Could you eat one piece or two? It depends, right? Today I had two pieces and it's, that's fine. That's not a but some days I don't, I don't need the other piece. Especially if I know I'm gonna have lunch soon. Or I'm planning a snack or something.
Sarah Milken 59:26
Just cut. I liked that point. Because it's sort of like knowing what you need. Like sometimes I'll do my oatmeal and I'm like, God, I'm still kind of hungry. That feels like I don't and I'm not comfortable. So like, I'll grab another handful of walnuts so that I only eat 17 other things in the pantry. But I think that some of us are in that like deprivation mode or like no, I have to stop right here. But like I don't know, sometimes you're in like a hormone dip or you didn't have a good sleep or your kids stressed you out the night before and like your body just wants a little bit more.
Unknown Speaker 59:58
Yeah, and I think it's really important for us to be attuned to our own bodies, right? Because what I eat for breakfast and what you eat for breakfast right on every day is a different day based on exactly just what you said, our hormones, what happened, there's so many different pieces to that puzzle. So knowing for yourself like, am I, you know, am I satiated? Is this feel good? Or am I hungry? Because I'm hungry? Or am I hungry? Because there's an emotional need that maybe,
Sarah Milken 1:00:28
yeah, I'm so glad you'd mentioned that. Because I did another doctor at a doctor on the podcast who's like a weight loss doctor, and she wrote a book called, it's like, what are you hungry for? And it's basically a whole essay collection about all of her different patients and clients who, you know, it's like one person was hungry for relevance, and another person was hungry for love. And I'm sure that that's something that comes up in your practice a lot. If you're dealing with midlife women, it's, you know, we all have hungers that are not related to food. But we use food to satisfy those
Unknown Speaker 1:01:05
hungers. And a connection to that I see is like, a shift into empty nest. Oh, don't think that we really acknowledge how painful it feels. It's really hard. Yeah. And when our days are packed with those things that we joke are annoying, and I gotta drive over here, whatever. But when it's gone, right,
Sarah Milken 1:01:29
there's a lot gone. Yeah. And I said that yesterday in my Instagram stories. I was like, that was annoying to bring the baseball uniform in between podcasts yesterday. But then I posted something else. It's like, in a year, he's not going to be asking me for that. So I'm happy to do it. Even though I was like, Are you joking? Like, he's not going to be here for me to do that. Yeah. And then I might need a brownie. Yes. But having that awareness, right, because I see that often. Right? Where the, the afternoons become difficult. Yeah.
Unknown Speaker 1:02:02
So then the seeking the not actually just sitting down and fueling yourself are being like, I'm gonna have a tea with, you know, whatever, my snack is that I'm gonna happen instead, the kind of unsettled, passing by the pantry eating a few pretzels grabbing this, right? Like, it's because there's something missing, right? Yeah. And too, we need to stop and listen and recognize that something's missing, and try to take care of ourselves.
Sarah Milken 1:02:30
I don't know about you, but I love Jenny's simple approach to finding nutritional lifestyle changes that work for us. She's helping us bypass the bullshit and find our own personal blueprints as she calls it. We're all different people, different lives and bodies and we feel different on different days. So why should all of our meals all look the same? For more tips and tricks on how to uplevel your meals for optimal nutrition and redesign your lifestyle, nutritional lifestyle to work best for you? Then listen to my episode with Jenny creating juicy and doable midlife nutrition habits. This is that episode that you don't want to miss. And check out her Instagram. She's fucking funny and her dry humor is similar to mine. You'll love her Of course. So peeps, as we move through December, don't try to be perfect. Let's dabble in our midlife nutritional and exercise buffets. Let's see what we can improve what we can eliminate and what is just great the way it is. Eat the brownie, just not every day. Move your body. Think about things you want to take action in 2023 It doesn't have to be a professional list of new year's resolutions. They can be simple things. Can I find a hobby that I used to love that I forgot about? Do you want to pay? Do you want to do crossword puzzles? Can you volunteer for a charity? Can I find a hummus without bad oils in it? Can I walk a little more? We aren't talking about a marathon. And if you want to run a marathon fucking go for it. I might think that you're crazy. But I would just be jealous because I could never run a marathon. It's time to ask yourself some important questions in midlife. What are you really hungry for? Is it the sweet treat that's going to satisfy that hunger? Or is there a deeper longing or need? How do you physically and mentally feel and what nutritional elements can help change that? How can you easily incorporate healthier meals and little habits into your life? One of the hardest things for me especially because I dread cooking is how I'm going to feed myself and my family. What can I do to make all of this easier? Are you able to give yourself a break and eat the damn cupcake or the french fries and at the same time kick your butt into action and take that extra walk once a week to get your steps up. As you can see, nutrition means more than just losing or gaining weight in midlife. It's the whole midlife buffet. Its nutrition, personal meaning hydration supplements, movement, nourishment and joy. It affects us physically, mentally and spiritually. Let's stir the midlife nutrition stew and take a spoonful of midlife self obsession with reasonable small action steps. You guys know how I feel about nutrition and exercise. What's my good enough, I'm not going to starve. I'm not going to give up carbs and sugar. And I'm not going to exercise an hour a day, but I am going to do is continue to add some shit in. Now I'm going to go back to jumping on my mini trampoline for three minutes before I do Pilates. Yes, of course. I'm going to pee first and then hold my bladder the rest of the three minutes. I'm going to find that non weird oil hummus again for my little snacks that I bring in my car my Ezekiel bread that you can find in my show notes with Jenny Giles and I'm gonna go back to Adrian's book and reread my highlights about midlife hunger and what we're really hungry for. Come on you guys. We got this. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah. Let's think about doing midlife for ourselves and choosing ourselves picking just a few things you can change or add or drink that water bottle when you wake up. Oh yeah, the water bottle. Because you know, if you listen to my episode with David G, he says rise pee and meditate. So now I have to rise pee, drink the whole bottle of water and then meditate. If you don't want to miss a single juicy golden nugget, then subscribe to my podcast. If you're listening to them one off and you aren't subscribed, then you won't be up to date on my midlife goodness. Also, you're doing me a huge favor by subscribing without the subscriptions I don't get the quote extra credit points I need from Apple hit subscribe. It's free. And it's no commitment. I'm doing the work. And of course write a fucking review. It's so fucking annoying to do. But it really helps the podcast to grow and reach more midlife women. You guys I have 200 and something reviews. A B that's my midlife New Year's gift rate or review for me I would love it. You can also follow me on my instagram and join in on the conversation. If you DM me, I am always going to DM you back. I love hearing what you have to say and getting to know you. Love you talk soon.