FINDING YOUR “MIDLIFE SPIRIT GUIDES”

Mary Ann DiMarco  00:00

Because I channel for the person boutique, you know, it's for their personal energy. The messages could vary, but there is a common theme and that is that you are worthy on any level you choose. And starting small can lead to big

Sarah Milken  00:21

Hey, peeps, welcome to the flexible neurotic podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Sarah Milken. Yeah, you heard that right. I'm a real PhD doctor. Long, long ago, like last fucking year. I was sitting in the midlife pump wondering, was this it for me? That day, I realized I needed to get off my ass and start my midlife remix. I dusted off my PhD wipe the menopause, sweat off my forehead, grabbed my golden shit shovel and started digging deep to all my midlife bitches. It's not just love coffee and hormones that get you through your midlife remix. It's action steps. Let's do this. Hi, good peeps. This is the next episode of The flexible neurotic Podcast. I'm Dr. Sarah Milken, the flexible neurotic. Today I have a very interesting guest. She's an internationally recognized psychic, medium author, healer and spiritual teacher. Through her work and workshops and One to One mentorship and her two best selling books. She translates messages through spiritual counseling in the realms of marriage love Business, Career and relationships. As a spiritual teacher, she teaches hundreds of students per year, both individually and via virtual workshop classes on how to develop connections and intuition for day to day living or for professional practice. This guest has been featured as an expert across various media outlets, including the New York Times women's health, Gabi Bernstein's podcast, Maria Menounos podcast and reefer layout. I mean, all of it and she's here today. She seeks to give guidance and advice for happier and fulfilling lives. Her name is MaryAnn DeMarco. MaryAnn the medium Yeah, are you? Well, how about yourself? Thank you so much for having oh my god, I'm so excited. You're here. We already had a pre conversation about how I'm sweating. And you're sweating because you just blew dry your hair with a turtle with a turtleneck on which is it's like self inflicted, and like I don't know why I made that choice today. But yeah, it's sort of like why did you blow dry with the brawn? I challenge I chose challenge. I know that's good. That means you're gonna win the lottery today. I always I have like a makeup blow dry fan next, like on my makeup counter from Amazon. And I like I sweat it congeals I sweat again. It's like we go through many layers. Okay, so the intention for this episode is to take a deep dive into understanding how we are co creating our midlife journeys with our midlife spirit guides. We're gonna find out what exactly a psychic medium is and does what a spirit guide is and how Marianne teaches people to be their own midlife. Bestie guide through intuition and their personal spirit guides. Marianne You are my midlife bestie medium today. Hmm. You know, glad and you know what it's been real time because this is, you know, I'm 51 and this is sort of the time where I am really having some hardcore conversations with look for midlife. shitstorm there's the fuckery that goes on if I can say that. No, yeah, totally sick. Is that okay? Can I oh my god, why say fuck all day long?

Mary Ann DiMarco  03:48

I wonder why. Connected? Yeah. And I feel like you know, it is this and when I reached my mid 40s I was really like, wow, you know, my body do things and now I'm in a ship or when it comes to menopause. And so you know, it can can really mess with your connection to spirit it can we must utilize what I teach is using your spirituality to get through every moment in life. But as a as a tool. repurpose it for better. Yeah, this country, right? Yeah, we're feeling the shitstorm. But what we want to do is listen to that higher self so that we can navigate through it more productively. Oh, I love it. I mean, I feel like every day it's like, okay, is today going to be a flowy day? Or is today going to be a clunky day where I just feel like I can't think I can't move. I don't want to do anything. But I mean, the beauty of it is that it's quote normal in the sense that all of us are kind of going through it but it's figuring out the tools and that's sort of the premise of the podcast is like talking to all these experts and helping us curate a toolbox of like, okay, I

Sarah Milken  05:00

I feel confused or I feel stuck and like how can I get out of this? Because I call it the sort of midlife remix. I feel like a midlife crisis is happening to us and there's not a lot of agency in that. But when you sort of view it as like a midlife remix, like okay, I'm itchy for the next thing I have the midlife issues meaning a rebrand my kids are almost out of the house. I gotta like find the next thing. I'm wondering how we can utilize our midlife spirit guys in helping us make those decisions. So I hope today we can dig into that. And I want to start with just kind of laying a little bit of the groundwork of like, what is a psychic medium? What can you do? What can you not do? What's your wheelhouse? Yeah, a psychic medium is a person who can make connection to the other side. And give guidance from your spirit guides, mediums. Loved ones can give advice from loved ones or guidance from loved ones, make connection with the other side and give that information over to others. That's what a psychic medium does. Everyone has the ability to connect to their own loved ones. psychic mediums are people who are connected to other people's loved ones and giving that information over. Okay, so for you specifically, what's in your wheelhouse of what you do and what you don't do. I,

Mary Ann DiMarco  06:24

well, I speak to deceased loved ones, I can see your spirit guides, I offer mentoring and guidance through their messages over to the person that I'm sitting with. I don't do dark, heavy prediction work. I don't diagnose medically, those are not things that they do. These are boundaries of mine, I work only with the highest of vibrations, because I want to work for the greater good have often started. So I want people to walk away feeling like they have a takeaway that feels positive and productive for their lives. So if you're in a meeting or a session with someone and something health kind of bumps up a little bit, you may not necessarily be like, Oh, you're gonna have a diagnosis of this. But how would you handle that situation? I have zero medical background. So it would be very irresponsible on my part, to give any type of diagnosis, what I what I have found what guides walked in with me is they haven't read symptomatically and usually it's something that person already knows is going on. So if they have been dealing with dietary issues, you know, digestion or whatever I might say you work on things that go on with your digestion and in the stomach, but I would never say to somebody, and you should go have get that checked out. Like that's like a mess. That's a Medical Medium. Right? That is not what I am doing it on myself. But I do get things that go on in the body. And I think it's because my readings are all about mind, body and soul and our vessel is important. So if somebody's struggling to make connection, and then it doesn't feel well, that's going to come up because when we are not physically feeling up to par or we've decided to really work on it as a great tool of asset for ourselves spirits going to want to talk about that they're they're going to want to guide you or they're going to want to just validate that you're on the right path. Okay, so that gets us to the next main question because we're talking about using our spirit guides to co create this midlife journey what is a spirit guide? Spirit Guide Is your universal team. Angels guides yes loved ones loved ones a little bit more about comfort for me. We are here all as well we haven't gone anywhere we're still in your life guides being energy on the other side, giving you a little bit more direction laying the breadcrumbs out for you supporting you I say they're like your team of besties on the other side helping you access to your higher self your inner knowing enhancing the Claire's and giving guidance through all of your Claire's your clairvoyant see your clear audience clear cognizance right of all of the senses. And they can come in at any given time. They're always with us they change based on what we need and we have full access to them anytime we just have to choose to recognize them. So going back to the word Claire, a Claire is this sense like you feel something you see something you hear something? 

Sarah Milken  09:24

Or maybe you get goosebumps or some guide talking to you could be a guide talking to sort of how we tune in. Okay, so I use all of my Claire's when I'm speaking to spirit. I use my clairvoyance see the third I use my audience I can hear Clairsentience I feel things I taste things. Claire cognizance is your inner knowing that inner knowing of something, either you want to say or you feel that hunch, that intuitive ability that we all have. We all have access to our Claire's the more you use them. 

Mary Ann DiMarco  09:58

The more we sharpen them, the more they become incredibly useful in our lives. So when you say the Midland guides have your back, then why do bad things happen to good people? It's a question that I would always love to know, you know, there is a greater picture going on. And my job really isn't to figure out. The big question is, what are we doing here? Why are we here? Why does existence happen? Why did good things happen to bad people? There's a greater picture here that even myself, I do not understand. And I don't know that I ever will until I make my own transition to that other side. So instead, I just tried to answer it. Those types of moments where I'm seeing bad things happen to good people with just loved trust in the universe, that they know what they're doing. Some things I do believe are worldly, and cannot be controlled. We are a society of freewill. We make our choices in many, many ways. And I think that the things happen. And in those moments, to me, I try not to because sometimes it's beyond my understanding. So instead, I tried to just lean into love, and trust and maybe get prayer and open. And whatever I can to people who are going through it, myself included.

Sarah Milken  11:11

Now, when the Spirit guides are talking to us through these Claire's like, give us some examples, like, you know, someone will say 1111, or you know, things like that. Is that what that is?

Mary Ann DiMarco  11:25

That's a sign. So if you're looking for signs, people talk about seeing Cardinals and feathers and rainbows, your loved ones, and yes, guides to love to give you signs, and you can ask for signs all the time. Signs are a great way to make connection with spirit. They're wonderful way to make validation. What I tried to tell people, what I do tell people is, don't keep asking for them. Once you see your sign, just express gratitude, because then we start to establish, can we go back to that trust in the relationship? If we keep asking them, we're not trusting that at all as well and always being taken care of, or you're on the right path and whatever it is that you asked for is, is being recognized.

Sarah Milken  12:05

Okay, so I mean, obviously, this is like in the woowoo zone, and I'm sure you know what I mean. Let's bring on the Woo I have to say in the past two years in this midlife remakes of mine, I've like really embraced the woowoo my husband and kids are like, Oh, keto, Ki you what's happening to this one? But I'm like, You know what, I'm open to it. I'm embracing it. I'm using it and you don't have to

Mary Ann DiMarco  12:36

have to, it's everyone's choice. So

Sarah Milken  12:38

it's everyone's Yes. Like, you don't want to listen to your inner whisper. Don't do that. Knock yourself. Out. Exactly. Now, I know some people are listening and going, but like, I don't really get it MaryAnne. Like, am I gonna be sitting in my house and I'm gonna see this little angel come down and say, Sarah, you should really send that email. Like, tell me like really from you might

Mary Ann DiMarco  13:02

you might not see that energy come in, you know, like an apparition. But you may hear in your own voice, that little hamster wheel thought that's nudging you send an email, you know, you need to send the email that email yet and then someone talks about you might get on phone and then your friend might say, oh my gosh, happening up, I have such an email that I need to send out that remind you to send the email, you might dream about sending that email. They're very creative and getting message across. The choice is are we leaning into the flow of those messages following the breadcrumbs? Or do we keep leading it with resistance? Or are we chasing things in our lives and that's really how you tell the tell you discern the difference between your loud mind and guidance. Guidance is flow. It's breadcrumbs. It's that knowing in your solar plexus in your gut like this feels right, listening to the common quiet voice within. And sometimes it can be a little big and loud and pushy. Your loud voice is going to give you confusion. It's going to feel like a chase, it's going to speak it may be in fear terms or indecisive terms. I'm going to make you exhausted because you're constantly thinking about this. That's the loud voice and when you work with energy and on a consistent basis, you learn intuitively how to tell the difference becomes instinctual.

Sarah Milken  14:22

Yeah, so going back to what you said a second ago about like hearing it in your own voice. I know that it seems confusing, like okay, there's this spirit guide who's there are these spirit guides that are my personal team working for me in the universe? But I'm hearing them in my own voice.

Mary Ann DiMarco  14:44

Yeah, and excuse me, because a lot of people think it's some disembodied outer being a voice. I thought that for many like

Sarah Milken  14:51

Darth Vader is coming

Mary Ann DiMarco  14:54

up like Hello, Mary and we have arrived, you know, because I always knew that I had these ability since I was child, I didn't know how to tap in until somebody said to me, my teacher, my beautiful teacher Pat Longo said to me, you know, spirit comes in your own voice, right? And then it clicked that quiet voice that would say to me pull over, there's going to be an accident. Or, you know, you know that that person's not really right for you. Or, you know, take the left turn, not the right turn, take this job. Don't do that. All that hindsight, thought to the hindsight voice. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. That's the voice. And it takes practice to trust it. It takes practice because it's, we were taught not to. We were told think about it. No, think about it again. I don't know your

Sarah Milken  15:45

show. I'm rumination station. Are you kidding?

Mary Ann DiMarco  15:50

Are you sure you want to do that? Right? We just talked since a lot of them doing and reconnecting. And the more you practice, more you trust, the better you get at it. That's, that's the key is to be consistent in the practice. So you understand on that on that more on that clear, a little bit clearer level gives you clarity.

Sarah Milken  16:10

Okay, so I've also read that, you know, they're on like, what, from what you talk about on the other side, there are the spirit guides, and there are your loved ones who have crossed over. And you said, we should all feel really comfortable, like comforted and knowing that that exists. Tell us why.

Mary Ann DiMarco  16:31

Well, from all the years that I had been doing this work, I can tell you, I'm not afraid, death. I don't know how to ask to creative ways. I'm not afraid the messages that have come through groups client after client have been so loving and reassuring that they are okay, that all is well that we are being taken care of. That there is a higher power that cares about us that we do have free will that we can work with them are here to help us after hearing these messages year after year after year for so many years. It is just very comforting. I feel very, that we all are taken care of in some way. It's not always wonderful doesn't mean everybody's life is always great. But it does mean that if you can find that pinpoint of light even even in your most darkest moments, it's helpful.

Sarah Milken  17:25

Wow. Okay, so obviously, you have all of these energies in quote, power since superpowers and what you say is that so many of us have it also, we just need to fine tune it, find it, cultivate it. And that's what your new book is basically outlining for people. And we're gonna get into that book. But before we do that, I want to talk about another piece of your practice that I think is would be really helpful for midlife women on this midlife journey and CO creating this reinvention journey is you do motivational guidance, and you're teaching people how to understand their own abilities and access and tap them anytime they want to make an informed decision. And, or they want to connect with loved ones. Tell me in your one to one mentoring practice, like how it plays out for a midlife woman, like, hey, my kids are moving out of the house. Maybe I'm bored as fuck. Maybe, you know,

Mary Ann DiMarco  18:32

whatever. What's my next step? What's my next step? Right? Yeah, it's a lot to do with Am I still useful?

Sarah Milken  18:41

Yes. And it's like, do I have meaning? Am I relevant? Does anyone see me? Does anyone hear me? i Maybe I don't look exactly the way that I used to like, where am I and where do I fit into all of this?

Mary Ann DiMarco  18:57

I think we should allow ourselves to grieve the past. I think that's one thing that women Miss. Are we supposed to just push through it all the time? Mr. Foster? I think it's okay to kind of grieve the past. I'm an empty nester right now. And I'm and I have a career. Yes. I've reinvented myself many, many times. And I think because I've reinvented myself many, many times that comes a lot in through in my messages to midlife women, you know that we are still powerful. We are incredibly relevant. These are things that I channel on a daily on not only for myself, but for others, that we have purpose that you can choose what you want to do service wise, that your spiritual practice has a lot to do with self care at this age and taking care of you since you've spent so many years possibly taking care of others, that you can step into that power that this is I know our bodies are going through it ladies I know we're experiencing all types of things at this age. But one thing that I know for sure is probably one of the most powerful times in our lives. And that I'm clear on Your voice is powerful, you know, hopefully, you know what the heck, who the heck you are and what you want in life. Fear, however, and society will tell us just sit and pay. No, maybe we tame it down a little bit. What I have noticed with client after client, what guidance is showing me is that time is an illusion. And that if you want something, take it, go for it, put yourself out there, and you have guidance that will help you find those steps. And that you're never too late for that. And that's an incredibly comforting to myself, and to women that are looking to start new careers and start new lives and reinvent themselves in so many different ways.

Sarah Milken  20:43

So give me an example a woman comes to you and it's like, I'm an empty nester. I've been, let's say, a stay at home mom, I might I have a few ideas. But I'm kind of scared to start small. How am I going to put myself out there and start at the beginning and gig again? Like, what kind of advice are those guides coming down with? Because it is intimidating. It's like, oh, I want to start a cooking business. But like, what am I going to do cook for three families? Like who cares? Like, it's not big enough? And I think in this society, we're so focused on like, well, if it's not going to be a Forbes 400, then why bother? How do you get into over that hump of the smallness of it,

Mary Ann DiMarco  21:27

because I channel for the person boutique, you know, it's for their personal energy, the messages can vary, but there is a common theme. And that is that you are worthy on any level you choose. And starting small, can lead to big zero to 60 is not necessary. If spirit is showing you the stepping stones that you need to take in order to get to that bigger picture. It's our responsibility to say yes, fear, doubt, impostor syndrome, all the things, they're going to talk us out of it, that comparison. Looking at others, Spirit tells you to focus in on your energy, why not you? Why not you. And that if three meals turns into 30 meals, because those three people told three friends and those three people told three beds, and so on. So then now you're seeing how that small little start, can start to open up doors all over the place. And to me, we you to your point, we think it has to be big or it's not good enough. And it's just not the case, if it's serving your soul to just make those three meals, and that's worth it. If it made you happy that evening, to just do that spirit is going to applaud you. Because you're doing something that you love, and you're working towards something that you really want. Yeah, just Spirit

Sarah Milken  22:50

help you sort of negotiate those feelings of like, yeah, I feel really purposeful. I made those three meals for those families. But like, if someone else asked me about it, it seems so like not meaningful. And what advice do you have for those women who are like, Okay, I just picked up pickleball. And I haven't played a sport in 100 years. And now I've made like, 13 new friends, and I'm getting out of the house, and I'm meeting all these new people. But like, that girl over there, like she's running this huge company, it's like, how do you get out of all that,

Mary Ann DiMarco  23:27

because the ego wants to mess with you. The ego wants to come in and say not good enough. Not good enough. And really, when you do this work, and you start to work with your guides, you start to have these types of conversations, you get to dig a little bit, and you get to see why that ego is showing up. Why fear is showing up why comparison becomes such a bigger game, I asked my guides, take me to the point where this started in my life, who gave me this. And they will show me ages of feeling insecure. times when I didn't feel pretty enough or good enough or smart enough. And who gave that to me the conversation that really took place and I get to go back into those moments in meditation, and I redo them, or I understand them, I understand what I learned. And then I apply it to the moment every time it shows up. The misconception about spirituality is that it's going to eradicate these things for you in your life. That is not the case, they are going to show up. We're just answering them with our higher self, which is far more productive than leaning into that lower self vibration and hopping on the negative train. Right? We just we want to have our moments Believe me, I have my days when I'm like I'm stuck. I look old. I'm this I'm that right? Everybody has it. Look at this one over here. This one's getting this. This one's getting that I mean it happens. But now what I do is I say okay, I know I'm just trying to protect myself. And I let my guides come and give me the words to serve myself and others. Maybe I'll throw love at that other person instead of drawing comparison. Maybe I'll thank them for showing me what the same reflection of what I myself am capable of in my own version. And what It does is it brings you back to you being authentically you. You don't have to be anybody else but you. And celebrate if you got up on the pickle court, and you haven't been playing sports for however many years, and you got through it, give yourself props like say, oh my gosh, thank you, thank you for leading me here. Thank you for meeting these helping you need these people, thank you for my body that IT function that day, that part of gratitude will raise your vibration, it helps with those negative thoughts on it. But she's doing this over here. And that was doing that over there.

Sarah Milken  25:34

Okay, let's focus on this gratitude thing for a minute, because I know it's going to come up later in our conversation. But I think it's an interesting point. Because you're saying basically, the more we show gratitude for ourselves, and for the things that are happening in our lives, the stronger the connection we make with our spirit guides, and they're like, Thank you, thank you. And then they heard they, we establish a stronger connection. And then they give us more information, like how does it work?

Mary Ann DiMarco  26:04

Not a trick. So they're, you know, they love the gratitude, and it's very much but they accept it, and they like to hear it. But really, what you're doing is you're raising your own vibration. And by doing that, that's how you get closer. And here more clarity, they're here for you no matter what. So if you're in the dark going rocking in the corner, and you're like, This just sucks. They're still there. Right? They're still there protecting you, maybe they're giving you love, maybe they're wrapping a spiritual hug around you, I don't know, but they are there. The fact that we chose gratitude raises us out of that type of vibration. And it's just like listening to music, or taking a good walk. Anything that we do that feels cathartic and raises our spirits always helps us here with more clarity, and gratitude. The universe has big ears. So when we give out that gratitude, it Yes, it is appreciation. It helps us reconnect. And I think because we start to hear with better clarity, that's what opens more doors, were able to see it easier clicks.

Sarah Milken  27:04

Now, if you're showing gratitude to someone on this planet, like on the earth, like my son, I almost fell over was like, he said, my husband and me the other day, he's like, You guys are helping me so much with this college application process. Like don't think that I don't see it. And I may not say thank you every day, but like, I really appreciate it. And I was like, Oh my god. Oh my. Yeah, no, I was like, I raised a good egg. Um, but is it gratitude to people like that on the earth? Or is it gratitude towards ourselves? Or is it gratitude towards the guides? Or is it all of it?

Mary Ann DiMarco  27:49

Things around everyday going on? I'm so thankful. And I'm thankful for this. For that hot flash that my body's doing that now,

Sarah Milken  28:01

Siva, why can't you say spirit guide? Stop the hot flash?

Mary Ann DiMarco  28:05

I do. I'm like, seriously, this is bullshit. I mean, I mean, I have I speak with them, just like I'm speaking to you now. I mean, everybody heard the first one of our conversation. I mean, you know, yeah, I mean, I say all the things that I do, because that's how much I trust them. And that's how that's how nonmoving I make it. Right. So are you walking around all the time about expressing gratitude? I don't think so. I mean, I don't I know people do. I tried to collect it and gather it. And when I'm feeling like my vibration is low, I absolutely go there. But I definitely do it for the highs. There's no doubt in my mind, I will say thank you. Thank you for this. I tried to do it at night. When or if I wake up in a funky mood. I tried to just lean into gratitude reporting. I'm glad my eyes open today that my feet are out. Yeah, that was

Sarah Milken  28:50

one sock in the bed last night. I'm

Mary Ann DiMarco  28:54

glad I didn't like sweat through the nights whatsoever. Yeah, I mean, you know, you tried to just lean in when it feels by thing is this make your spiritual practice authentic. I will try to make it look like somebody else's. I'm not a very really person. I'm pretty grounded and all of this kind of matter of fact about it. So but that's how my practice has to big I mean, I live it every day. So I definitely don't want to be a theory all the time. It just doesn't work for me. I rather just use it like I do any relationship in my life. I want it to be productive. I want it to have loyalty and trust and I want consistency to be there.

Sarah Milken  29:28

I love it. Okay, so when. So when you're meeting with a client and they're in kind of a motivational, midlife funk of what's next, what's next? Are you reading from the guides like Okay, Sarah, this is your next step. send that email to that person. Are you reading specific things like that? Or it's more? You're sort of like an energetic accountability source

Mary Ann DiMarco  29:54

both. Okay, absolutely. Both. Yeah. So I'm channeling the whole time and it is A boutique guidance, it's hard for me to write an outline about my Mentor Program because I am channeling for individuals and their own personal lives and in their own practices work. So it just depends. But both sometimes spirit is incredibly directed. They will give you a push and love to give you a little, you know, light your flame and you're asked to kind of get you going a little bit. I'm pretty candid with my clients. So, you know, I don't I don't blow sunshine, you know, I try and like, help them move along. But ultimately, it's up to the person. freewill is a real thing. So your guides can take you there, but it's up to us to do the work. There's no magic in all of that miracles happen. But guys say,

Sarah Milken  30:37

tell Sarah, that she needs to start a podcast like how specific is it?

Mary Ann DiMarco  30:44

They get very specific. Hate the Reiki class? You should be erasing that they will definitely. And the personal site. Oh my gosh, I almost signed up for that yesterday. But I hesitated because I thought Why yes. Oh, absolutely. I hope my job. Yeah. So I want to write that out here often write the book.

Sarah Milken  31:05

So it's not. It's not like Do what makes you happy? You know what I mean? It because you know, there's so much of that. It's like, yeah, how, right? How, what's that next step?

Mary Ann DiMarco  31:19

I like to give reading to have a spiritual prescription. That's kind of what I call that I want the person to have a takeaway. And so even in my mentoring program, you know, there has to be a takeaway. Yes, I'm giving you homework to enhance your ability to Yes, I am reading for you the entire time. But the accountability is on you go do that, and spirit will say to you, absolutely. Yes, do what makes you happy. But you might have to do some things that you don't love. In order to get there or you need patience is always a big one. While you're trying to boil the ocean in a day, you need to be patient, they'll get into things like, you know, you're just trying to control that situation, you got to let go of the control, you have to surrender, you know, so there's different types of emotional guidance, spiritual, physical, mental guidance, everything that comes along in those types of readings.

Sarah Milken  32:05

And I feel like it's this specific journey, at least for me, there's so much personal resistance. It's like, why don't I want to do that? Is it because it scares me? Is it because it's annoying? Is it because I'm afraid that it could actually work? Like what's, what's it? What types of advice come through for working through that kind of midlife resistance of like, Oh, that's too hard. I don't know if I can do it.

Mary Ann DiMarco  32:33

Well, if I was mentoring you, I might say to you, why do you think you're not doing it? What do you hear a five second rule? And usually that five seconds is where you hear that guidance. My job is to not give you yes and no answers. My job is to get you to hear it yourself. I'm going to do it with you and for you in the beginning. But eventually, I want you doing it on your own, that you don't need somebody like myself to do it for you, right. So in that moment, I would probably challenge the client and say, what do you what is your intuition telling you? You might hear something like, I think I'm afraid. Okay, well, why are you afraid? Let's get there. Let's go there. And I might read it. Maybe there's a point in their life where I might let them get there. While I'm afraid of failure. Where did that start? And we let the guide start to tell the story for us. And the story unfolds, and the client hops on board because it's their life. And they know exactly why the guides are saying what they are

Sarah Milken  33:23

so good. You know, oh my god, I actually worked with a life coach. When I first started this podcast, before I started the podcast, and there's similar, there's like a similar kind of vibe to it. It's not like she's saying to you, okay, Sarah, step four, do this step five, do that. It's more of a conversation about me. And what's my next step to getting to that spot?

Mary Ann DiMarco  33:54

That's right. And that's a good life coach. And I think that that's a good psychic reading as well. You know, at least the style that I do readings in, you know, there's many different types of styles, but mine is really the why, yes, it's wonderful that your Aunt Rose is here. But what does she want to say? Why is she here? What does she have to say to us? What is it what areas of your life is she drawing attention to? And to me, that gives a well rounded reading and that person is saying, okay, not only is my Aunt Rose watching me and that really feels comforted, of gosh, we talked about this new business that I want to start, and she's applauding

Sarah Milken  34:28

the things we go for it. That's me. Yeah, those a little bit more extended. Got it. Okay, that makes sense. Now, in terms of you, I mean, all of us have our own like personal journeys and pivots and life changes. I know for you, you had a big divorce, with a lot of grief. And so how did that time in your life create this pivot for you? How did you find your next thing? I know you had a mentor who put hopped into your life, can you kind of give us like a real life example, by using your own example of like how these pivots can actually turn into something new and beautiful.

Mary Ann DiMarco  35:12

When I was going through, if you told me I was going to get a divorce, I would have thought you were out of your mind. That's how that's how far far from my mind it was. When I reflect on it now, I knew on many, many levels. So it started to teach me intuition. It started, it started to show me this, that what the sides look like what spirit was trying to prepare me for, and tell me and in that moment, through grief, not only my divorce, but I lost my loved one at that moment. My father in law at the time that was very close with my children were experiencing, you know, trauma in their own way through divorce and grief. It was it was bad.

Sarah Milken  35:48

How old are you?

Mary Ann DiMarco  35:50

I was in my early 30s. Okay, at that time, I would stay at home mom at the time, I'd left my career to raise kids. And, you know, I was so I was trying to get back to work and figure out things was really weird. What I realized is that it's probably the most authentic moment in my life. At that point, that it was finally the pivot was that I was finally listening to the ego, not to the fear, to my inner knowing. And that was a game changer. It was hard. It was devastating. It ripped me apart. But I knew that my inner voice was telling me it's going to be okay. Everything's going to be alright. And that whole time that hindsight, I reflected, it was like all these little nuances and wasn't crazy. And new things were up. I knew something was wrong. I knew it. But fear told me no doubt told me Stop it. My little girl self did one minute you know things, right. And that was when I said to myself, Oh, so this is what the voice sounds like. It might not always tell me what I wanted what I want to hear. It might not always tell me what I want to hear. But I listen to it. And it was definitely a game changer. And I haven't looked back that those those moments are pivotal. I've never, I will never not listen to that. I will always listen to my voice. And that that's the biggest lesson that it taught me. Go with. You're

Sarah Milken  37:19

such an amazing story. Now. So when you were going through this, somehow you were led to a spiritual teacher named Pam Longo. And had them transform your life.

Mary Ann DiMarco  37:31

Oh, well, she did that. I wasn't supposed to see her. I read I read Yeah, I was supposed to be a see another psychic. And I wound up with her by chance, but really not. I'm very purposeful. I found that when I went through, she's a healer. And I went perfect timing, you know, in this middle of this, this shitstorm. And I sat with her and she did a spiritual healing on me. And I saw my father in law and collaboration. And he came and he faced me and he said, everything's gonna be alright, kind of a thing. But I remember him saying, you know, you've got this, and I'll be back and I'll be back. And I looked at her like, What the hell was that? You know, I was shocked. She was the first person that I was able to say, these are the things that have been going on in my lifetime for my mom, these are the things that have been going on in my life, all the stuff that I've been hearing and processing. And she was the first person that said, Oh, you're a psychic medium. And I figured that part, but I'm going to show you how to do it. And she's the one that moment was so validating for me in that I knew this was something and and finally, I had a connection to it where I felt seen.

Sarah Milken  38:46

Because you grew up in a house where your mom was a medium or had all this type,

Mary Ann DiMarco  38:51

just really spiritual. She was surprised as a call, you know, so she had me like meditating at a young age and doing all these things. And I had dreams of loved ones I would have visits her and I would dream the same things all the time. I had all these experiences, but it was it was erratic. She went to John Edward and John Edward was the one who said your your daughter's a psychic medium. She just doesn't have to do it. I thought yes, please teach me but I had so much. Yeah, that would be great, right. But yeah, it's so much learn and so much to experience until I was able to give this over to others. So now I really understand it because my whole life is a frame of reference for my clients. Everything that comes through, they'll use things that have gone in my life good, bad and indifferent. And I share that with my clients so that they can have validation for their own experiences.

Sarah Milken  39:37

Now, this is super specific, but your clients who are coming to as empty nesters, and your own experience as an empty nester and this is like one of my favorite topics not favorite because I'm looking forward to it but favor because it's going to kill me or it feels like it's gonna kill me. What do you say to them? Like what is your advice as a person Marianne DeMarco and what is your advice? As a psychic medium, because a lot of women do experience such tremendous loss and grief, what happens?

Mary Ann DiMarco  40:08

Feel your feels is the first thing I say, the on your field hard, we raise these babies, and then they leave us what the who that was not in the contract, I did not sign up for that, right?

Sarah Milken  40:20

Like, he's not gonna call me every day, he's not gonna text me back.

Mary Ann DiMarco  40:24

I know, the thing that I tell people is I try not to define their experience for them. I want them to feel it on their own. What I do tell them is to really listen intuitively to what they need to feed their soul, their physical body, their mental body, what is it that they can do to self nourish in those moments before they try to reinvent the wheel? Let's just get you through this moment. And so becomes step by step. Like we don't boil the ocean in a day, a friend of mine who says that I love that. So, you know, let's just do one thing at a time. And that seems to take the pressure off. Because I think a lot of women are like, Okay, kids around the house, everybody's going to be looking at me like, well, what are you going to do now? What now? What are you going to write, I'm going to take some time for myself is what I'm going to do. Right? Self care comes is a big message in that moment, because we have to feel our feels. And I think it just be kind to yourself and and recognize the fact that this is a big change is something different. I mean, my dog right now, and I are like buds. I mean, because no one else is in the house. I'm like, yeah, good, you know? So yeah, I think that you can now and then you can ask, which is what I did, I started to ask spirit, please bring me people of like mind. Please clear space that I may have people of like mind around so that I may have productive conversations or things to do or whatever it is that I was looking to do in the moment, please allow clients to come by way that are interested that are invested that are really show me new projects that I can do because now I have the capacity to not be so much. So I want to free myself up to be able to do other things in other places aside from zoom, right? And right. And so what I trust, though, is that they're going to reveal that in divine timing. So try not to put a timeframe on it. But just put it out there. And then the follow up is if he showed me these things, even though it may be out of my comfort zone, I will say yes.

Sarah Milken  42:28

Bingo. That's the deal. Yeah. Oh, no. And that's something that I talked about on my Instagram and my podcasts all the time is I'm like, You can't expect changes. If you're not opening the doors, like if you're not saying yes, like if somebody invites your event, and you know, you don't know anyone there but if you don't say yes and go then you never know what it's like a domino effect. It's you met this person, you're standing in the valet line, the guy next to you starts talking to you about his podcast. Next thing you know, he's on your podcast. And it's like this whole series of events.

Mary Ann DiMarco  43:11

And it's it's purposeful, that actually recently happened to me. I was invited to a birthday party, I only knew the birthday girl. And I went, and I was way out of my comfort zone, you know, doing something like that. But I thought No, I said I would say yes. So I went to into the city in New York, and I went to this party, and I love this person tremendously. And so I was happy to be there. And it was a little, you know, awkward at first. She's a gracious host. And she introduced me to everybody there. And I wound up having lunch with one of the women that I met with next week. And I love that. Yeah, so and it's networking. It's just making new new friends at this age, you can make new friends at this age, don't think that you can't and can. And what's great about it is, you know, right away the investment that you can make in a friendship. Because your voice is there. You know what you like, you know what you need? It's all it's like,

Sarah Milken  44:03

right? Yeah, so high school is over. You know, like I always say like, in high school, we're all trying to fit in. We're all trying to get a seat at the popular launch table. But by the time you get to midlife, it's like, it's this time where you can kind of do shit your own way. Absolutely. You can maybe like, Yeah, and you say your own table,

Mary Ann DiMarco  44:27

table and invite your own guests, right. So the tables worthy. It's like, pick your seat, and enjoy the ride. We're supposed to be kind of having fun. That's the other thing that Spirit reminds me of, especially in this age. Do we go have fun? Don't forget to have fun.

Sarah Milken  44:42

I love that. But you know what the problem is? Maryann is a lot of people, including myself, have like forgotten what fun means. So Chatillon Yeah, it's like, well, what's fun for you? Like, you know, my husband's fun is different than my fun.

Mary Ann DiMarco  44:59

That's right. And so I I had to I had to refund it. I had to channel it. I had to look and say, Okay, what makes me laugh? What brings enjoyment? What makes me smile, and I channeled it. And I started to and that's where the Friends of like mine come in. What is it that I enjoy doing? Well, let's bring people other people who liked that as well. And it started to create the shift, which was really an another thing is my schedule doesn't have to be so overwhelmed and, and filled up to make that happen. These can be one offs. one offs, have fun, and to me, the part of fun is not so much in the activity of fun, but it's not taking things so seriously. It's allowing myself to lean into the flow of lightening up. And just, that's that whole comparison thing, and I gotta get it done. I got that I don't work hard. But I'm not so hard in my work.

Sarah Milken  45:56

Yeah, it's a new, it's a new, it's a new version. And it's new. And I think, you know, obviously, some people have the constraints of a job, that's nine to five and an office. And obviously, that's much harder to organize your day around. But then that means that in the hours when you get home on the weekend, like you really got to crank up getting those moments of joy and fun in and like you said like that personal nourishment because otherwise we're in burnout city.

Mary Ann DiMarco  46:29

Total burnout city, and if you can't get to it for a week, please don't shame yourself. I suck at it. I can't find my font, I can't find my balance. Don't do that either. Because whatever you needed to take write that list, write a list out what you did take care of for the week, and look at as accomplishment instead of scarcity. What I wouldn't didn't take care of look at what you did do for the week. And that itself is in a spiritual practice and breathed that had a meeting just got breathwork that week. Maybe you took five more minutes in the shower just because it's enjoyable to do.

Sarah Milken  46:59

So that was me this, right? Yeah, this hot water feels so good. And I know, I know everyone's cold plunging, thought cold plunging. I'm in this hot steaming shower.

Mary Ann DiMarco  47:10

I'd rather pull punches. And I'm like I don't. I'm like, I want to like sit in a warm blanket. Like I don't know what to do. But that's not gonna, no

Sarah Milken  47:20

I know, I know, like I'm just gonna steam up in here. Oh my god. Okay, so in terms of your book, I'm gonna read the title. It's your second book, medium mentor 10 powerful techniques to awaken divine guidance for yourself and others. And it says this is a book for a psychic medium or an intuitive wanting to learn the practice, or just regular people like me or listeners wanting to learn how to tune in with our spirit guides. And you say that our guides want us to access them. It's not like we're like, Hello, where are you? i We can you know and they're hiding. It's like you say they're accessible. They want to hang?

Mary Ann DiMarco  48:03

Yes, they absolutely want to hang. Don't leave them hanging, make connection, even if it just even if you think you're talking to yourself, that's starting to make connection. I mean, they're listening. Sometimes I'm like, Look, I'm going to talk to them. At least I know. They're the ones listening, right? No, no,

Sarah Milken  48:20

no, the gynecologist today will talk when I'm done.

Mary Ann DiMarco  48:24

I'll talk when I'm finished. Don't come in the room.

Sarah Milken  48:27

No, but you know what a good part of a spirit guide in the room for a guy now at this point in life is that spirit guide might remember, right, remind you that you're on you're on the phone with your friend Sarah. And she was like ask about the vaginal estrogen. Ask about the vaginal estrogen. That's how you could use your guide and the guy know,

Mary Ann DiMarco  48:50

they can sort of give you your list of questions. You know, don't forget about the hot flashes and the night sweats.

Sarah Milken  48:58

Oh, guy.

Mary Ann DiMarco  49:01

Yeah, I mean, you know, you can you can you can access them anytime. But the book is definitely about that. It is not something special, that you don't have to be somebody special to do this. It's not some power behind it. It's an ability that we all have, whether you're in the guidance office or not. You can access them anytime you want. We're just asking you to set the learner to practice in order to do it.

Sarah Milken  49:23

I think we have to figure out that piece like we talked about before where, you know, if the guides are coming to you in your own voice, and your other voices are screaming louder, like you're not listening and deciphering those voices and shutting the really loud one out that's like don't listen, don't listen, you know,

Mary Ann DiMarco  49:46

hindsight, hindsight is the best way that I can describe what it sounds like. I knew I shouldn't have taken that job. I knew I should have taken that job. I knew that this was going to happen. I knew that that was going to happen that little boys think it can be powerful. I mean our guides Mine are pretty straightforward and get right to the point. Sometimes, I have other guides that are a little bit more softer. I mean, our guides vary, but learning to discern the difference takes practice. And when you start to do it on a daily basis, the validation is undeniable. It's like so obvious. The signs are so obvious. The words they're using make sense. And you trust it more and more. And then like I said, it becomes instinctual. That once you start doing it, you'll never question it again.

Sarah Milken  50:33

I love that because I feel like midlife is this really juicy time? If we can really tune in to those whispers, like we have so much runway.

Mary Ann DiMarco  50:44

Yes, I agree. I agree this time, like I said, Because I find that this is such an authentic time of self, you really have the option to come into your own and being you first. Yeah. Which is not something that women do all the time. We're natural caretakers. So it's hard for us to be first and put ourselves first that comes up a lot. Remember, the oxygen mask has to be on you, first of all people, but women, in this case we're talking about, but you want to take care of you first. And you have to give yourself permission to do that. And your guides are begging you to

Sarah Milken  51:23

because I've been I've been saying like midlife self obsession is approved. It's an approved it's a thing. It's not narcissism. No not. You're not you're caring for others, you're still listening. You're like, yeah, I gotta work out. Yeah, for me, you know? Like, I gotta do this for me. Yeah, no, I can't drop you off at that thing. You're gonna have to ask a friend. I know you want to torture me in the car and asked me 10,000 things to do for you. But this is my time.

Mary Ann DiMarco  51:56

Yes, no becomes a complete sentence. And I do a whole chapter on boundaries in the in the book and boundaries. Yes, boundaries is essential. It's essential for working with spirit. And it's essential for ourselves in our own lives with the people in our lives, boundaries, our self nourishment, their strength, give yourself permission to have boundaries in your life and say no and say yes to what you want to say yes to and have a very clear voice and that is total midlife. That's maturity. That's midlife. That's something that I'm I'm so grateful for this age. I'm like, oh, sassy.

Sarah Milken  52:33

Yeah, well, she's kicking some ass right now.

Mary Ann DiMarco  52:38

It's kind of nice. You know, you're not

Sarah Milken  52:40

and then you throw it and then you throw in like the mood. Like sometimes the cranky mood and my husband says I can hear him saying to my kids, just just stay away. Like just just don't cold over there. She's like having a minute. I was like, okay, like I can't.

Mary Ann DiMarco  52:55

My husband starts to do hot guy stuff. I tell him. Like if he notices like suddenly he's emptying the dishwasher. Oh, totally. I do interview now. He's like cleaning up a little extra. He always helps when he does a lecture. I'm like that. That's that that he's like, he's speaking my love language.

Sarah Milken  53:12

Totally. He's like, Oh, do you want me to drop Marin at school? Oh, sure. Yeah, oh, I'm thinking. Now, obviously, when we're building this midlife spiritual team for this journey that we're on, you talk about different modalities or tools to connect with your spirit guides. You're not just like, hey, Joe, we were Are you like there are actual tools that you have? Let's talk through a few of them.

Mary Ann DiMarco  53:41

Okay, okay. Yeah. I mean, I can be like, yo, yo, me, you know, I need to talk to more 

Sarah Milken  53:47

somebody doesn't feel like yelling, Hey, Joey. And they want to do something a little on the quieter side, like what are the other modalities and ways of connecting with spirit guide.

Mary Ann DiMarco  53:57

Let's talk about oracle cards. You can love oracle cards, affirmation cards, you can pull cards, they're great. You know, get a deck of cards, you can ask for guidance, either through oracle cards a little bit more guide driven, where they probably come with a book with a definition of why you chose that card. Or you can do affirmation cards which just get you started good positive part of your day and you pull that card it's a great way to you can ask a question and then we see the answer through those cards, you can get guidance. Another way would be automatic writing, which I really love to do. And that is basically spiritual journaling. You are sitting down you could pose a question, put it at the top of the page, try and stay away from yes or no questions. And you just write from spirit, that inner voice. Don't edit it. Keep it positive. If you start to see that it's negative, start over and ask for positivity work from the light and just know Don't try not to question it. It takes practice. This is me I'm making this up. You know, we start to question it, but just write it out and you'll be amazed at guidance that can come through In fact, when

Sarah Milken  55:00

are you writing to a prompt or you're just like waking up and you're like with a piece of paper and you're just like start writing.

Mary Ann DiMarco  55:08

I like spiritual prompts. Personally, I don't always love to sit down with such intention. That's just my style. I do know a lot of people who like say, This is my automatic writing time. And that serves them well. So either way, serves you well, to have a tie with intention, if your schedule is tight, and it needs to be that way.

Sarah Milken  55:27

Like a flow, you would pick a card and then write a write to that card.

Mary Ann DiMarco  55:33

Now you can write, you can either you can, yes, you can do that. Or you could just pick the card and have that just be your practice for the day and be your affirmation, your sign of guidance, the writing can be separate. Meditation is a big thing. Of course guided or not absolutely do meditation, I do meditation to meet your guides in the book called the Temple meditation, where you're trying to assemble your guides. I love that in the show notes. Oh, thank you. And then there's, you know, deep breath I am breathing in, I'm breathing out, maybe that's all you can get to, especially if you're, if you're busy. That shower can be really productive. Imagine that white light coming through, you can use the shower in that moment to bring in the white light and just sort of ground yourself and protect yourself. Do whatever feels like a flow to you. Like I said before, I still feel authentic. So maybe it's more actionable in that you're taking a walk, you're listening to music, my workouts can be very spiritual, I get to disconnect and kind of just challenge myself in different ways that I, I find that to be very relaxing. So you can anything that feels cathartic to you.

Sarah Milken  56:35

And is it okay, if you don't hear anything? 

Mary Ann DiMarco  56:39

yes, please don't struggle for that. You might feel something instead, you might see something. You know, it's okay. The clarity will be revealed to you. You can sharpen them as you go along. It will all be given to you. The beauty part about this is that we're not reaching for anything, but just the conduit we're receiving. So try not to find yourself reaching and struggling. That's not spiritual practice reaching and struggling to me to make it work. Sucks. Don't do that. Allow yourself to receive just received still actionable and that we're an active participant in the practice. But we are receiving the information instead of trying to reach for it.

Sarah Milken  57:18

So is it how does it relate to synchronicity?

Mary Ann DiMarco  57:21

Wow, that's magical stuff. I mean, I definitely believe that things. There is a divine timing to certain things. And I love those wink from the universe. And they happen all the time. And I don't question them. I just I'm like you guys just show it off. You know, little things like that. Just I just love it. I love it. I love it. That's a fun part. Let the synchrony reppin happen, the secret, synchronicities happen, but the signs happen. You're asking for them. Enjoy those moments Spirit loves to show off and give you a little wink. And I think they're great at it.

Sarah Milken  57:58

So when you either in your book or somewhere I read that like you talk about an example like somebody takes an earlier train to work, they get on the elevator or their boss happens to be in the elevator or a conversation and they end up getting a job promotion. What is that? Is that a spirit guide? Is that telling you to get on earlier? Is that synchronicity what is that?

Mary Ann DiMarco  58:24

It's both have you been manifesting the greater job. So let's say for argument's sake, I want a promotion. Then it's you might hear like, you know, work 10 minutes earlier. And then you'll hear yourself saying, You know what, let me get to work a little early today, you're acknowledging the guidance intuitively and instinctually, you might not even be thinking about it. Because you did that you set some things in motion that your guides set up for you. Because you may not have listened to it, you could have resisted and said I just want to hit that snooze for 20 more minutes. I don't want to get up. And maybe the opportunity would have been missed doesn't mean they wouldn't set it up again in another way. I would but your your timeframe, changes and shifts, but doesn't really matter. You may still get to that end result. So yeah, it's both it's you listening to the guidance and taking the action. And it's a beautiful setup, setup and volley from spirit.

Sarah Milken  59:12

I love it. Okay, so you talk about how trust and gratitude are the two keys for wanting to communicate with your guides. I know that we talked a little bit about gratitude before, but what's the trust part?

Mary Ann DiMarco  59:28

The trust is that we're believing in something that is really relatively unknown. You know, we're trusting in an energy that is unseen, I guess, you know, it's a leap of faith. It's sort of the unknown in a way that we're not really seeing these things as if I'm seeing you right now. And you're saying to me, Look, I'm gonna guide you through this. I've got you. We're trusting in that this what we are hearing seeing and feeling is true. And that trust has to come within Our guides are happy to help us with validation. But we really have to believe in that. Because if we don't, we will just continue to question and renegotiate and overthink it. And let fear get in the way. So we have to trust that we're being taken care of even when things don't happen. You wait, especially in those moments.

Sarah Milken  1:00:21

Yeah, let's talk about rejection is protection. Mm hmm. That is, that is such a tough pill to swallow.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:00:31

It's like gets hot right in the throat.

Sarah Milken  1:00:33

Yes. You're like, that's a fog.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:00:37

I tell you, I just had that recently happened to me. It's a testament to my growth. I was supposed to be booked on a show. And they they want to go with another medium. Three years ago, four years ago, I've been like, I mediately was like, Oh, my gosh, it was a great show. Thank you. It had nothing to do with me. I was not meant to be there. In that moment. I was not meant to do it. And that's okay. into So yeah, I really have learned it took me just to your listeners, this took a long time. Some of these things take the hot minute, to really get good at it, get proficient at it, I should say. And sometimes I really suck at it. But the more I do it, the more that trust comes in. And I just looked and I thought Yeah, I already know that I didn't think it was really going to work out because my inner knowing was telling me and I just set it and forget it. I go alright guys, if it's meant to be I know you guys will take care of me. And I'll do whatever it is you ask because it's for the greater good, the most highest good my egos out of it, whatever. Let me know what you want me to do.

Sarah Milken  1:01:39

I mean, in some ways, it seems like oh, you're just protecting your ego. But then in other ways. That's so freeing at the same time. It's like, if you can say to yourself, it's not meant to be and it's not meant to be and then you've saved yourself two weeks of being upset?

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:01:55

Doesn't mean I'm not disappointed in other areas. Yeah, doesn't mean I don't deal with the feelings, right? And I might have to get there eventually. But the ego, you know, I take that ego and I make it go sit in the corner and go rock itself like go self soothe I don't really want to do. It's not that I am bypassing it. I mean, that's a big word, right? We don't want spiritual bypass anything we want to have. I'm still dealing with it. But I have gotten to a point where I understand why it's showing up. So I don't we keep doing the same work. I just answered differently. Now. I don't engage. I acknowledge it. Thank you. But I'm good. I'll be all right. And it doesn't work all the time. Sometimes I am way up in it in my ego. I try to acknowledge it faster, sooner quicker and get to that inner knowing and that peacefulness

Sarah Milken  1:02:44

I will hopefully one of the pluses of midlife is just based on years of experience your laps and what Yeah, does die from that I didn't you know, get that job promotion. I didn't die. I didn't you know what I mean? It's like, yeah, the time you're in your 40s and 50s. You're like, oh my god, that was such a big deal that day, like sometimes, my kids. Okay, I understand you're pissed off? Will you care in a year? And they're like, That's so annoying. You know,

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:03:13

I care right now. I mean, sometimes I do go back. And I'm like, this is a blip. This is a moment. Yeah. But again, I listen, there are times when I had been brought to my knees in my life. And I did not sit there and go, Oh, my thank you guys. I was like, what the ever loving, you know, I mean, there definitely have been times and so I don't want to be like a Pollyanna about it like life can be really, really hard. And I don't know that our guides are always going to be the answer. But I know that if you trust in a higher power, you can find some pinpoint of light to healing that I do believe it's really hard to muster up sometimes.

Sarah Milken  1:03:53

Let's talk about the light for a second, because I know you talk a lot about that. And you say there was a point where you said something like talking to your guides is not really your guides giving you answers. It's you aligning with your inner light, and I'm like, okay, that's really esoteric. I'm really trying to like wrap my head around that I'm gonna ask her to break that shit down for me.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:04:18

The soul knows our soul knows us better than anybody. It has our storyline within it. Our guides also already know what our soul knows. They're just trying to get us to access it so that we can hear it with more clarity. That's what that is. They're they're not giving you ancestor and excuse me, they're not giving you answers. They're helping you access your higher self. Yes, they're giving you guidance in order to get there. So sometimes it can be two separate things. But for the most part there like you know what you need to do. You know where you want to be, you know who you are, you know where you need to heal. We might not understand why things are happening around us. That's a little different. That's a little different. That's sort of like, why did this happen? And I don't know that they can always provide the answers for that. But they can certainly get to your understanding and healing in it, or dealing with it or learning in some cases, just learning to live with it. Because I think there are things that we never heal from, no, does

Sarah Milken  1:05:15

everyone have different guides? Like, does anyone have the same guides? Well, it depends

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:05:22

on you know, sometimes belief system is in there. So, to me, it's all symbolic. You know, to me, they're really just pure light beings, but they come with symbolism that should feel familiar. Some people believe that they can be from a past life, as well. So they might have been souls that we walked with before on this earth, I try not to let myself go down the rabbit hole too deeply. But yeah, my understanding. And what I've seen is that they are definitely assigned to us for different reasons. Some of them more ethereal than others, some of them feel a little bit more like higher level energies, some more and more earthly feeling. And so the symbolism can really be very,

Sarah Milken  1:06:02

wow, I mean, this is like, I'm like, wrapping my head around it. Now. What if you're someone who's like, I don't believe in God. I, it has nothing to do with not believing in a higher source. 

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:06:16

No, I had one I read a guy wants to talk to me about not believing he considered himself an atheist. And he was like, so you know, like basically saying to me, like, what are you going to do with that? And I started to channel for him. And I said, You go hiking? And he said, Yes. And I said, I see you at a mountaintop looking at the miracle of a sunset, because I really love to do that. And I started to see all these things that he loved about the earth. And so his belief system was rooted in earth. And Isn't she beautiful? And so I thought, that's cool. Do whatever feels good to you. I don't know why your soul feels that way, or why you feel but I'm not here to judge that you can have any belief system you want. But I think that we all can invest in something that moves us and makes us feel good. And for him, it was Earth. It's definitely not earth. And I thought that was really cool. Yeah, Spirit showed me that because it allowed my I tell people all the time, invest in all types of belief systems, to some degree, allow your frame of reference to be very, because it's really incredible. How much is out there. And when you have that in your frame of reference, you can pick and choose what what flows for you. And then you can kind of create your own unique belief system that works for you.

Sarah Milken  1:07:29

And I feel like in midlife now, it's like, it's funny, because like, some of my friends, like have all these hobbies, and even my husband, I'm like, Oh, my God, and my like, hobby list, Holly, you know? And then I think to myself, well, yes, like, my podcast is a business. But at the same time, it's like, maybe that's my hobby, too. It's like I'm communicating with tons of women. I'm creating content conversation.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:07:54

Yeah, if you're having amazing passionate conversation, yeah. Artists service is what we learn, we get what we learn, we teach everything that you're ingesting through others, and how you're giving that over to others is beautiful, lightwork don'ts and you're doing it with a really fun, authentic voice, ask service and light. And if it feeds you Well, that's all you need.

Sarah Milken  1:08:19

I know. But I'm like, but I'm not knitting. I'm not, you know, playing pickleball I'm not you know what I mean? Like, unless you want to go back to that judgment thing again, of like, Oh, my God, all these people have all these great hobbies, and I don't have any, and I'm going to be in like the old age home.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:08:36

That boils up the old age home making people laugh and getting kicked out of the

Sarah Milken  1:08:43

old days. Oh, yeah, totally. I'll be like, I'm not wearing any underwear today.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:08:50

Like, don't be anything more than that. If you don't you don't, that comes down to self worth. That comes down to say, am I enough? And why do I think I need to be more than that. And that's something again, that if you go with your gut, you can see where that started. And where that can take you. And then you heal from that point on and you realize you start to talk about yourself in really cool terms. Like, oh, I'm a badass, I have this great podcast that I put out. And not only that, it fills me up and makes me happy. And not only that, I have time still spend with my children and my husband. And not only that I have time to travel or be home body or whatever it is that works for you. When it's perspective, we have to choose that how we translate our life story is on us through our guides are going to show you how to change that perspective. And once you do that, you adjust that Kaleidoscope just to get the colors the way you like them. You don't go back to speaking about yourself and those lower vibration terms because it's not real. It's just a story we've been told and given that you will hear the After you can change it anytime you want.

Sarah Milken  1:10:02

Oh my god, I'm like, Okay, I need to take this whole podcast and chop it up into all these little cards. With all these quotes, I'm like, I'm gonna have to rewatch this three times. Okay, you get

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:10:14

back to me. Yeah, I forgot what I said.

Sarah Milken  1:10:19

Are you kidding? We're gonna have like a whole manifesto from this conversation. Okay, so because everyone's probably going, oh my god, I understand what's happening. I want to like go through. I'm going to read these the steps to you of connecting with your guides. And I just want you to like quickly respond, because I like to give people actionable like summaries, because I know that like I'm brain dead and midlife brain fog half the time. And then I'm like, Oh, I loved what she said. And now I fucking can't remember what she said. So this is the steps for connecting with your guides the way I'm listening to you and hearing it is number one, Grant, you have to use gratitude to get into the energy of the high vibration to connect with your spirit guides.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:11:03

Yes, that is one step to do with creating a spiritual practice is probably the best way to start and part of that spiritual practice should absolutely be gratitude.

Sarah Milken  1:11:12

Cool. Number two, start a casual conversations like you normally would. Hey, Joey. No, I'm just kidding.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:11:20

No, Joey? Yes. Yeah, let's normalize it. Try not to make it. So something outside of yourself right is within you. You're part of the conversation already with the universe. We're just doing it in a little bit more of a deliberate way.

Sarah Milken  1:11:34

Okay, number three, be authentically you. It doesn't have to be formal practices.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:11:40

Please be authentic. I beg everyone to be authentically, you don't look at somebody else on Insta who's like doing the meditations and barley every week and everything I wonderful that they do that if that serves them well. But for the most part, it has to work for you, or it won't work at all.

Sarah Milken  1:11:57

So good. I mean, and I think that one of the hardest things in midlife, and one of the easiest things at the same time is being you. Yes, I agree. If that makes

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:12:07

sense. As noble, you're reminding yourself in some way. So once the founder, you know, just hook on and don't like go

Sarah Milken  1:12:14

own it. Choose you gotta do it. And then number four is sort of the same as to ish. But it's like have a friendly conversation don't have such crazy expectations of what's going to happen.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:12:27

Yeah, that I say in the book expectations will lead to disappointment. So instead just have hopefulness hopefulness in oneself, hopefulness and spirit and faith and whatever it is that brings you to this point that you're seeking out these answers at this time in your life. And be kind to yourself and that helpfulness expectations are all about disappointment. helpfulness is endless. It's best never at and so stick with helpfulness.

Sarah Milken  1:12:49

So good. Okay, we already talked about rejectionist protection and things happening for reasons. And then I found this section where you talk about what we should expect while working with the guides. So number one, you say feel their presence? Hear them? You're gonna think it's your voice, but it's not.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:13:12

Yeah, you're gonna think Yeah, you think you're making it up?

Sarah Milken  1:13:15

Yeah, like I'm talking to myself. Number two guides are showing up in a vibration energy. When we raise our frequency, then the guides lower their frequency, and they meet us there. Can you explain that?

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:13:30

Yeah. So when I'm when I'm, especially when I'm doing mediumship work. So if I'm trying to make connection for somebody else, that's really a lot for mediums. Don't worry so much. If you're working with your guides, you just want to be in that positive thoughts so that you can hear them with more clarity, they'll meet you where you're at. However, when you're if you're a psychic medium out there, and you're raising your vibration to that mediumship level and their kind of level of sort of lowing, lowering, there's a tat, so we meet in the middle. And that's, that just takes practice and learning how to do that when you're connecting with energy on the other side,

Sarah Milken  1:14:03

okay, and then you say, we have to have a consistent spiritual practice, it's a mutual relationship, we have to show up for them consistently with our own spiritual practice.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:14:13

It's absolutely 110% You just like anything else, practice makes better. And if and what will happen is, is that you'll do it for a little while, and then you kind of fade away and then you want to get back to it. It's like you're restarting all over again, it's just like anything else. If you were training for a marathon, you would just go out there and start running, you would definitely be running the marathon itself, you would train before that. And so with spirit what I say though, it's it doesn't have to be every day, give examples of spiritual schedules in the book, make it work for you. And please count in your personal life counting other things that you were doing in your spiritual schedule, because you might not even view them as being spiritual and like the guy hiking, like the guy hiking, like you taking care of yourself or your children for the day. Like the fact that you check things off your, your, your list of things to do your to do list for the day, and then you felt that great sense of accomplishment. Don't think very spiritual.

Sarah Milken  1:15:09

But no, it's counting up your small wins, which I don't think a lot of us do. Okay, let's see, number four you envision the job that you want or the health that you want. And then you let the Spirit Guides fill in the blanks, you would say, I'm sitting down to envision X, Y, and Z, show me what I need to see.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:15:31

Yes, so you're asking for the breadcrumbs. So that's the big picture. We want to have the big picture, dream big, and then dream even bigger. But take note of the breadcrumbs. Because life isn't always zero to 60 it can happen but for the most part spirits trying to show us the stepping stones to get there. We want to follow that path that's that will say yes thing and keep saying yes. To keep your eye on the prize and let go of timeframes trust divine timing, they know better than us.

Sarah Milken  1:16:01

Trust divine timing. Okay, then number five, automatic writing or journaling. And then you say sometimes your voice will actually change while you're doing that.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:16:10

Yes, the language changes. So a lot of times people will say to me, I don't know if I wrote this. And I asked him to read it back. And it's like, Oh, beloved, dear one, we are with you today. I'm like, do you walk around talking like that?

Sarah Milken  1:16:24

So that's like your spirit guide talking to you through your writing?

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:16:28

Yes, yes. different voices, different sounds.

Sarah Milken  1:16:33

Okay, so six, you have to be consistent and open yourself into that high frequency.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:16:40

So you want to have open hours and closed hours, we want to make sure that we're being diligent in our practice, grounding and protecting ourselves by bringing in the light. And yes, when you want to do if you are reading for people who are a psychic, medium, or healer, it's again stuff with a little bit more intention. But you want to cue your guides, I'm ready to receive messages, your spirit, please give me the words to serve. You can do the prompt at the top of the page if you're doing automatic writing, putting intention into your cards, but you absolutely want to kind of prepare yourself to sort of receive

Sarah Milken  1:17:11

got it. Okay, this is an interesting one. Number seven guys can also talk to you through your friends, you talk to a friend and they say, Oh, I just wanted this doctor for blah, blah, blah. And then you say, oh my god, I needed a new gynecologist and you're saying that's your guides talking to you?

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:17:28

Like yes, yes, they will talk to you through your news feed. They will they will do advertisements that are like, Oh my god, I was just thinking about this. And it's not your call listening because you didn't say it out loud. And they'll speak with you through other people for sure. So I used to get really strong advice when I was younger, and I'd be like, I don't know why they're not taking it. I just knew it. Absolutely will prompt through other people. So pay attention if you find themes, repetitive themes, through others and things that you've been thinking about and then people are starting to talk about it around you please pay attention because that's your guides trying to get through to you.

Sarah Milken  1:18:03

So good. Okay, the final one you aren't being guided to the husband or the new job, you are being guided to the God within you that is becoming an attractor or magnet for those things. Okay, break that down sister.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:18:23

Everything that you've been attracting is not necessary it's not about the other people it's not about the job it's about what is going to serve your soul best all that inner peace that you've been looking for. So try and let go again but that's about expectations like all the expectations and trust that you're being shown the best scenario is being revealed to you either in another person Yes or through a job but really that's about you getting to that point of inner peace and inner knowing feeling grounded in that moment you should be able to relax the shoulders a little bit take a deep this just feels right. That's so hard. And it just has a flow to it no resistance and so it doesn't really become about everybody else there there are factors and and of course, but it's you who got yourself there with you.

Sarah Milken  1:19:09

Oh good, so good. Oh my god. Okay, as we wrap up this amazing chat on CO creating our midlife journeys with our midlife spirit guides. What's your biggest piece of advice for midlife women on the midlife self reinvention journey wanting to co create with their guides,

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:19:27

believe that you can that is the you have to believe this. And you have to take ownership in that you are an active participant in the role that you can play. So all your role, only big know that you are part of the light you are part of the storyline. And with that becomes amazing power within you just have to give yourself permission to use it. So co creating with the universe should feel comforting. You're not alone. They're going to show you you're just I have to say yes.

Sarah Milken  1:20:03

Wow, I'm gonna have a spirit guide dance party later.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:20:08

I even join Club.

Sarah Milken  1:20:11

Oh my god, you're gonna I'm gonna invite you and you're gonna say yes because that's what you do. Okay, I want to I want you to tell listeners where to find you.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:20:20

You can find me on Instagram at Marian medium where you can go to my website at Marian demarco.com

Sarah Milken  1:20:26

Okay, Mary Ann DeMarco Marianne the medium internationally recognized psychic, medium author, healer and spiritual teacher. Thank you for saying yes. Thank you for chatting all things your midlife medium and midlife spirit guides. Happy to call you a new friend of mine and Fab guest of the flexible neurotic podcast. Thank you.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:20:48

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. This has been fantastic and I appreciate you being so open and honest and authentically you.

Sarah Milken  1:20:57

Oh my god. I don't know how to do it any other way. At least that's what my husband says. Good for husband and he's like, um, I didn't sign up for this midlife reinvention journey. What's happening here?

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:21:09

My husband's like that people okay. All right.

Sarah Milken  1:21:13

Actually you when midlife Regina or dead people.

Mary Ann DiMarco  1:21:17

Midlife vagina or dead people? Well it's a toss up these days.

Sarah Milken  1:21:22

 I think that might be the title of this episode Marianne Hey peeps, it's me again. I listened to this episode was psychic medium. Marianne DeMarco, author of the new book, medium mentor 10 powerful techniques to awaken divine guidance for yourself and others. So I could summarize the golden nuggets for you to have actionable items to start using today. I know that when I listen to a long episode, I'm like, oh my god, I love that. But now I can't even fucking remember the specifics. This is why come back and do a golden nugget summary. In this episode, we chat the techniques for creating your own bespoke spiritual practice and finding your own midlife spirit guides to help you co create the midlife journey that you are wanting. Golden Nugget number one, what is a psychic medium. A psychic medium is someone highly attuned that can connect to the other side with other people's spirit guides and deceased loved ones. The medium is able to speak with these guides and pass their messages on to you. Part of the work is for you to do your part and they do their part. Golden Nugget number two, what is the spirit guide? It's your universal team of angels guides and loved ones. The spirit guides want to help you and they love giving you signs like seeing a rainbow or a blue cardinal and they receive gratitude from you for their help. They will lend you some directions laying out the breadcrumbs for you to follow and head down the right path. There the team of besties on the other side helping you access your higher self and enhancing your own Claire's what is a Claire? Golden Nugget number three, a Claire's an extrasensory perception. It could be a guide or an ability that your guide has given you to proceed with a heightened sense. The Claire's are clairvoyance, your ability to see the future Claire audience hearing what is audible Claire sentience to perceive feeling and Claire cognizance which is our tuition. Golden Nugget number four, look for the signs. Your guides will show you signs in your surroundings. A scientific come in many forms. It could be an angel number or like I said a cardinal a feather or rainbow your loved ones and the guides enjoy giving you signs and they love when you request them. It's a great way to connect with them. But don't keep asking again and again and don't get disappointed if you don't see them right away. Receive the sign and express gratitude and trust in them. The universe has big ears and your gratitude will not go unheard. expressing it creates clarity in the messages and opens the doors to the universe. Golden Nugget number five, five steps to connect to your guides. Number one oracle cards ask a question receive an answer by pulling from an Oracle card deck or an affirmation card deck number two automatic writing pose a question at the top of the page and begin writing from your spirit or your inner voice. Don't edit your words or thoughts. Just let it flow. It's important to stay positive and try not to question it. Number three meditation. Meditation is an excellent way to train your focus and tune in number four deep breaths. This can be as simple as some deep grateful breath It's in the shower each morning. Number five. Do whatever feels like a flow to you or what feels cathartic. Some people use music or exercise. Try making a list of all the things you've accomplished this week and give yourself praise for the abundance rather than shame for the scarcity. The smallest thing can be your spiritual practice. being authentically you and giving yourself praise for the small wins. You got on the treadmill, you sent the email you made the call, you got the blood test, Golden Nugget number six, practice listening to learn how to listen. It's okay if you don't hear anything back right away. It takes time and consistency is key. Try not to find yourself reaching and struggling. That's not a spiritual practice. Allow yourself to receive and be kind to yourself. It's still actionable because we are an active participant in the practice, but we are receiving the information instead of just trying to reach for it. It takes gratitude and trust Golden Nugget number seven, what to expect when working with the guides. Number one, hear their presence and recognize it's another voice not your own. Number two, be in positive thought to hear them with clarity. Number three, have a consistent spiritual practice just like anything, it takes consistency. Number four, you should envision the thing you want dream big, and then ask for guidance. Ask for the breadcrumbs, ask for the signs, and then trust divine timing. Number five. When doing automatic writing notice when the language changes, that's when the guide is taken up the pen and speaking to you through your own hand. Number six, prepare yourself to receive you want to have open hours and closed hours giving yourself and the guides boundaries. Use the prompts or cards to begin speaking when you are ready. Number seven guides can talk to you through your friends through your news feed through your surroundings. For example, we talked about in the episode if a friend says oh my gosh, I just had this doctor's appointment and such and such happen, then that might trigger you to be like oh my God, I need to call the doctor and then you end up going to the doctor and getting really relevant information that you need it. Notice all of these messages. Number eight, you are not being guided to the love of your life for the new job. You are being guided to the God within you that is becoming a magnet for those things. The gold is dripping off these nuggets, rabbit use it there are three things you can do first, subscribe to the podcast. Second, share it with some friends who might like midlife shit. And third, read an apple review. writing reviews is kind of annoying, and it's an extra step. But guess what? It really helps the podcast grow. You think your little review won't matter but it does. If you went to a show or a concert and everyone said my clap doesn't matter. Then there would be no clapping. You all matter. We all matter DM me, you know I always respond. I'm the only one in my Instagram. Oh and of course follow my instagram at the flexible neurotic love you talk soon