Getting Real About Sex Drive & Menopause In Midlife
Hot Takes From My Conversation With Dr. Shieva Ghofrany
Let’s start digging into all things sex, mood, and menopause in midlife! We are going back to a conversation I had with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany. It’s her deep belief that if she can increase women’s knowledge, then she can decrease their anxiety about their health and bodies.
Dr. Shieva Ghofrany has been working as an OBGYN for over twenty-one years. She’s the co-founder of TRIBE CALLED V, a virtual platform that disrupts women’s health education by breaking down the basics that affect women… from their first periods through pregnancy and post-menopause. Dr. Shiva is breaking down the stigma so we can talk all things… vagina!
Let’s Talk Sex in Midlife
It’s not just you… it’s science! That’s right, the studies are in when it comes to midlife libido. We’ve all had those feelings of… “I'm tired, I feel fat, I'm stressed.” We start to believe that something’s wrong with us because we just don’t feel sexy in the same way. As it turns out, data shows that our neurotransmitters change when we've been in a relationship. After three to five years, we start to look at our partner like someone we deeply care for but we lose that “rip your clothes off” type feeling.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. Dr. Shieva says that she has women coming to her all the time telling her that they are embarrassed that they don’t feel like having sex. She wants you to know that it is SO common! It's actually less normal for married or monogamous women in long-term relationships to want to continue to have sex regularly.
Go grab the coconut oil. If you’re going to be using oils in the bedroom, look no further than the kitchen! You can use the same oil you use to cook with, however, the texture is going to be different. If you are used to smoother oils, check out a brand called V Magic. *Note that if you’re using condoms, don’t use coconut oil..it can break down the condom.
Is Your Mood Killing…The Mood?
Between the stress of your everyday life and the anxieties about aging, you might be experiencing all kinds of moods…and that’s totally normal. So, what can we do about it?
Is medication right for me? There’s a benefit to some women taking SSRIs, aka anti-depression and anti-anxiety medications, to balance moods when they’re experiencing tons of symptoms. You might be too busy in midlife to slow down for acupuncture or meditation, so you need a little help. Taking SSRIs can help balance your moods, but they can also lower your libido. Some people also say that the medicine can make you feel foggy. So, it’s all about choices and what fits best into your life for you.
Destination: Menopause
Look…we’ve all been there or we’re all going to get there at some point. So what do we need to know while our bodies make the trek?
Is this normal? In determining if you’re transitioning from perimenopause to menopause…you have to look at bleeding levels. Anything “more” requires some inquiry. Anything that’s less…less bleeding, less frequent periods or fewer days of bleeding is nothing to be worried about, as long as you have had your thyroid checked…which you should be doing every year according to Dr. Shieva. Anything heavier, longer, and with bleeding in between periods, more than usual…is likely nothing, but you should get it checked out for sure. It might be perimenopause, but since you can’t prove perimenopause you’ll need to have a deeper conversation with your doctor.
Don’t be nervous. You’ve never experienced this stage of your life before. Everything can be unpredictable… from your cycle being out of whack, your hormones all over the place, and you might be experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms. When in doubt…ask your doctor or head over to the podcast to hear Dr. Shieva go into more detail on what symptoms you need to look out for.
Don’t fear the smear. That’s right! Remember to get regular pap smears. Some doctors recommend getting a pap smear every 3 - 5 years. Whereas, some say to get one done every year so you don’t forget. Cervical cancer takes years to develop, but it can be difficult to remember to go into the doctor’s office every 3 -5 years. Make sure to make it part of your health routine whether you decide every year is right for you or if you’re comfortable remembering to go every few years.
We dug deep with Dr. Shieva because this hot take is dripping with gold! From sex to mood swings and all the way to menopause… we’re better equipped for the journey. If you want to dig deeper into this make sure you check out the podcast episode and spend some time talking to your doctor about your midlife sexual health journey.