Remixing Self Identity in Midlife
Hot Takes From My Conversation with Ryan Haddon
Hi, good peeps! As we begin the new year and we’re thinking about the same “new year, new me” tagline, I want to give you some hot takes from the conversation I had with Ryan Haddon. We dug deep with our golden sh*t shovels and she gave us the tools to become centered and help us figure out who the f*%k we are in the second half of life.
Ryan Haddon is a certified life and spiritual coach, hypnotherapist, and certified meditation teacher with over 16 years of experience with clients around the world. She is a sought-after public speaker for corporate retreats and wellness events. Ryan does private workshops such as “Stepping Into Your Purpose”, “Work/Life Balance” and “Finding Your Center.” She's also the in-house life coach at Kourtney Kardashian’s website Poosh, where she shares her expertise on all things relationships, self-care, and accessing your higher self.
So, let’s jump headfirst into the new year! We’ll figure out all the ways to create your midlife remix. We’re talking about finding your sweet spot in life, letting some sh*t go, noticing what triggers you, and adding some calm to your daily routine.
Find Your Sweet Spot
We often find ourselves out of center or constantly looking for the next best thing, which leaves us never being truly content with where we are. Finding your center is what will give you what you really need to make you happy and find purpose.
So, how can we do this?
Put your relationship to you first. Ask yourself, “What do I need?”
Figure out what is working for you and what isn’t.
Stop doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.
Listen to your self-talk. We average 30 to 60,000 unconscious thoughts a day. Most of those are negative. Bring awareness to those thoughts and come up with different ways to speak to yourself.
Give yourself permission to reinvent. It can be hard to think about the next stage in life, especially if your life has been consumed by your children’s needs. Get rid of old ideas of who you think you are and really drill down into what you want that next part of your life to look like.
You can't do everything. You have to be okay with letting certain sh*t go. Otherwise, you will set unrealistic expectations for yourself.
Notice What Trips Your Trigger
It’s important to notice what your triggers are. This is what will help you reflect on yourself and understand where they are coming from. What is upsetting to you might not be upsetting to others and that can be hard to wrap our minds around. We need to learn to pivot how we’re seeing things, take the focus off the other person and bring it back to ourselves.
Questions to ask yourself:
What situations make me feel triggered?
How long have I been feeling this way?
Why do I keep reacting this way?
How can we do this?
Notice the thought.
Write it down. Get it out of your head and onto a piece of paper. This will bring awareness to the trigger.
You will be able to notice if this trigger has popped up before. When does it come up and why does it keep happening? You will be able to notice a pattern in your thoughts.
Work on those thoughts and feelings.
Meditation is the New Flossing
Find a meditation practice. Meditation helps you recognize your thoughts, clean your thoughts and calm your mind.
How to add meditation into your daily routine:
Turn meditation into flossing, practice it daily and make it part of your routine. Nobody wants to floss, but we do it because it’s good for us.
If you practice it enough, it will become part of your routine just like flossing.
Set a timer for a couple of minutes. After a while, it will become a habit and something you enjoy, just like that clean feeling in between your teeth after flossing.
Don’t give up…it can be hard to start a meditation practice as our brain wanders all over the place with the million things you have to do. When you notice your mind wandering, just bring it back to your breath…it will get easier over time. If this is something you need help with, check out Ryan’s self-hypnosis worksheet.
I hope this gives you the permission you need to find your center and figure out who the h*ll you are in the new year. It’s time to figure out what is going to truly make you happy and give yourself permission to go for it. You can do this by noticing your triggers, finding a new daily meditation practice, and letting go of the sh*t that isn’t serving you!