Figuring Out Who You Truly Are in Midlife
6 Steps To Live With More Intention
Get your golden sh*t shovels out and get ready to dig deep into an open and honest conversation I had with Mallika Chopra about discovering our intent, figuring out who we are, and dealing with judgment in the second half of life.
Mallika is a meditation expert, published author, media entrepreneur, and mom. Mallika speaks with audiences all over the world with the intent of “harnessing the power” to bring people together to improve their own lives and their community. Mallika is giving us the tools we need to become balanced and at peace with who we are in the second half of life. We chat about the main themes of her book, Living With Intent, and discuss her 6 step acronym, I.N.T.E.N.T….to live with more intention.
So let’s find our sweet spot as we learn to live with more intent, meaning, and calm in the second half of life.
What is intent?
Intent is the seed of your deepest desire. Intent comes from the soul. It’s not just about our life’s aspirations, but how we go about the journey. It’s about feeling more connected to everything we do. Ask yourself, “Who am I? What do I want? How can I serve?”
As you sit with these questions, you may find that the true desire behind your intentions becomes more clear. Your intentions and the desires behind them will change throughout your life and especially in midlife. It’s important to just keep checking in with yourself. Think deeper than the labels we give ourselves as mom, wife, businesswoman, and so on.
So…is this different from a goal?
Yes! Goals come from the mind. Goals are task-oriented and usually, a goal is something that we can check off the to-do list. Goals are a mechanism to get to your intention. Say your goal is to exercise daily so that you can get to your intent of feeling better about yourself or feeling more energetic.
Goals are often the last step on our way to finding more intention in our lives. When you know what you want, it’s often easier to achieve goals because they’re coming from a deep soulful place.
We can figure out what our intentions are and what our goals are going to be by following Mallika’s 6 steps of living with intent.
Living with I.N.T.E.N.T. in 6 Easy Steps
Incubate: We often don’t know what it is that we want. Get quiet, think about your deepest intentions, get comfortable in the uncomfortable. Take the time to be authentically present, and see where that leads. You can do this through meditation, practicing yoga, or getting outside and going on a walk. Just avoid any distractions and allow yourself the opportunity to quiet your mind.
Notice: Sometimes we need to tell our inner dialogue to shut up and listen to our bodies to manifest change in our lives. Notice the messages that your body is sending you. Pay attention to how you use your words and thoughts and what you give attention to. Look for the signs that will lead you to your truth and pay attention to the messages the universe may be sending you.
Trust: Trust your gut. Your intuition knows her sh*t! Listen to yourself and notice what does and doesn’t feel good. Listen to your body and take a pause. You can do this by taking a few seconds to just breathe. Have confidence in your gut and allow this to guide you. As Mallika says, “Be your own Buddha.”
Express: Say what you want and take ownership of it. We are often too scared to admit what we actually want. It’s time to own your sh*t! Write your intentions down, say them out loud, or share them with someone. Embrace your intentions and start moving towards your desires.
Nurture: Be patient with yourself. This midlife journey isn’t a straight path. Give yourself the opportunity to succeed. You might fail along the way…but that’s just part of the journey.
Take Action: Once you’ve figured out what you want, you can’t just sit on it. You have to start taking the steps to make this your reality. Choose your intentions and then set short-term goals to get you going on your self-recreation journey.
When going through this process, some messy sh*t might pop up. Remember to take the time to pause, reflect, and breathe. You don’t need to do a complete 180 in your life, but take the time to think about what’s best for your midlife remix. Be honest, show your vulnerabilities, and try to help others. Stay in your own lane as judgment will always be there and stay connected to your purpose and intentions on how you want to live your life on this rollercoaster we call midlife.